Reviews for An Unforeseen Occurrence
na chapter 12 . 7/16/2005
How sad! Poor Helen! Do something!
Lady Razorsharp chapter 12 . 7/15/2005
Okay, you DID have me going there for a moment. I was sitting here yelling, "No, no! Oh, what's he doing! Oh, the gossip will spread like wildfire! Why doesn't that woman (the Duchess) SHUT UP?" XD

That being said, poor Helen. This was a rather cruel twist of fate...I do hope that she'll get an explanation someday from Holmes, and I hope he lets her down gently...*sigh* Give her someone who she adores ten times more than Holmes and I'll be happy. _

Just a slight quibble: this sentence was a bit confusing:

With confirmation of the time of the raid planned by Inspector Abberline for that very day in his hands, and the full knowledge that with such a name on the books of their clients, either Hammond, his associates, or the press could bring a scandal down on their heads the likes of which would shake the Empire to its very core.

Is the knowledge in Holmes' hands, or does Hammond know about the raid? I know what you're saying, but it's just worded a bit oddly. And it's such a grave sentence, it deserves the best treatment! _

What a scandal-the Royal Family had better thank their lucky stars that Holmes is not only the soul of discretion, but has excellent hearing and a good memory as well.

All that, and a Ripper mention, too! Well done.
adele rose chapter 11 . 7/15/2005
Am enjoying this story (all chapters, not just 11) very much-it's very well-written, the voice very consistent and appropriate both to the period & subject, and although the "romance" remains the main thread of the story, the mysteries and adventures are more than just "stuffing," but lovely little stories in themselves. There are a few -very few- typos or misspellings, and one anachronism towards the end of chapter two-I think that plans or attempts only began to "backfire" after automobiles began to do so-although I may be wrong and the expression may actually be older and transplanted to automobiles. (Not to be too nit-picky, but the word jumped out at me rather jarringly.) Perhaps "misfired" or a similar word might work. I am eagerly awaiting the next installment.
Ember chapter 11 . 7/12/2005
You're really annoying me...does Holmes like her or not?

Geesh...

Keep writing!
BaskervilleBeauty chapter 11 . 7/12/2005
LOL! Holmes must be an exasperating dinner companion - you can't go for five minutes without talking about crazy nefarious poisons!

This was a very lively chapter, I enjoyed seeing the characters all relaxed and sociable like that. And the insights into Miss Thurlow's unrequited passion for Holmes are at once realistic and sad.

I wonder what happens to the Watson's child-to-be?
Lady Razorsharp chapter 11 . 7/11/2005
Yay! You're back! _

And yay again: a little Watson! Mary and Watson are still about the cutest thing around. And it's very plain they're very much in love.

I was as breathless as Helen was when Holmes showed up. The guy can dress, can't he? _

The whole story reminds me very much of the premise of The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes where the big secret is a submersible. It was interesting though, and Holmes explains it well. But poor Helen. She's got it bad for him and it's starting to show...one quibble: I know she's in love with him but make sure she keeps her wits about her. I think she knows that she's on the slippery slope, too, though...And Holmes is oblivious, or seems to be (I think it's the latter).

But truly, it's lovely stuff! Bravo! _
HouAreYouToday chapter 11 . 7/11/2005
If I haven't told you guys before, I'll tell you again- the historical research and attention to detail in your story is simply unmatched by any other Holmes' fanfic writer- this is yet another wonderfully crafted chapter. Thank you, for such a gem of a story- especially this little case within a case! And this line: "Though it is a mere byproduct of the exertion of my intellect. You understand that of course, do you not, Miss Thurlow?" he stated quietly. "That it is not physical or emotional exhilaration I seek...but intellectual."' is just CLASSIC Holmes.

Amazing, just amazing!
Hermione Holmes chapter 10 . 7/7/2005
This was a very sweet chapter, as all the great and horrible things about love have been captured in Helen's reactions. It's a good thing she's realized her true feelings, and it will be very interesting to see what she does about them. It was very romantic when they started to dance in the garden and, as ti didn't seem like a very Holmes-type thing to do, I'd venture to say that he's starting to feel something for her _ The royalty were well depicted, in a very creepy, machismo sort of way. I absolutely loved it when Holmes, in his casual way, made Helen panic about meeting the prince and then Mary's reaction to that- very funny. I don't draw much anymore, but that part did evoke a sort of comical, slightly anime picture, with Holmes looking off in the distance and Helen and Mary behind him, with the former having a panic attack and the latter glaring at the detective- absolutely fantastic. Anyway, update soon!
Estriel chapter 10 . 6/15/2005
As always, this amuses me! I love this story, and hope that Helen and Holmes sort themselves out soon. Goodluck on your approaching nuptial! Update soon!

Es

xx
C.M Cruz chapter 1 . 6/12/2005
That- err this story is well written and just lovely to read. I love how the words blend and the writing reminds me strongly of Sir Doyle. Please continue with the wonderful work and that there may be more to come about Sherlock or any other stories you wish to conquer.

Again keep up the good work and I'll be logging in just to read your stories. Till then.
gaudy night chapter 10 . 6/11/2005
You must have been reading my mind! After reading Chapter 9 a few days ago, I was thinking of writing you and asking for a dance between Holmes and Helen. Wow! Talk about great minds! LOL Anyway, thank you for a wonderful, sexy 10th chapter. I can't wait to see how this relationship will continue to evolve. Helen has definitely fallen head over heels over Holmes, but is he really as clueless as he seems? Perhaps you could give us a little bit more on his point of view on this very interesting relationship. I hope there's more to him than what we read in the Canon. BTW, congratulations on your upcoming wedding. Cheers!
BaskervilleBeauty chapter 10 . 6/10/2005
OMG. My eyes are very wide right now. That started out as the funniest chapter yet and then turned into something out of Disney's Cinderella. Now, having always been a fan of the older Disney films, I am inclined to think of this in a positive light. Poor Miss Thurlow. So this is love.
Elsie Cubitt chapter 10 . 6/10/2005
Lovely attention to detail, as always. I agree with the good Lady Razorsharp in that you have handled Helen's infatuation with our Mr. Holmes wonderfully well. You've managed to do it in a way in which we can feel along with Helen how "wonderful and utterly wretched" such a feeling must be- to fall in love with somebody who may not necessarily be able to return those affections. What I will be interested to see is how you handle Holmes's side of things. That will admittedly be a little more difficult. I love how you've brought out the endearing relationship of the Watsons.

Once again, you need to pay attention to the language: the past participle of "begin" is "begun," not "began," as in "she had lost that battle before it had even begun." Also, pay attention to homonyms. When two people dance so well together, such that they anticipate each other's every move, they "complement," not "compliment" each other.
Lady Razorsharp chapter 10 . 6/9/2005
I must agree with Watson: Utterly captivating. Scenery, luminaries, architecture, royalty-everything is stunning and shows exceptional attention to detail.

As your chapter wound down to its inevitable conclusion, I did have a moment's worry at how you would treat Helen's infatuation with Holmes, but you've managed it beautifully. If he knows (and how could he not, he who is so observant?), he hides it with all grace.

Watson and Mary are still as endearing as ever. Holmes' line about nature being cruel to young lovers gave me a pang of sadness, though (those who know the canon know of what I speak)...I find it hard to believe that Watson wouldn't have his suspicions about the older man and his 'granddaughter' but perhaps since his eyes are full of Mary (and that he's endeavoring to behave in the presence of a lady), he's just not with it right now. *grin*

And Holmes? He is charming, he is handsome, he is gracious, mysterious, the soul of propriety(well, pretty much anyway _), and just a little mischievous-all the things we know and love about him. You've given him quite a few bon mots to fire off here and there (his gentle teasing of Helen about her nervousness at meeting the Prince was great fun), and he moves through his conversation with Helen as gracefully as he dances (and yay for finally allowing us a glimpse of that!).

And who-guy or gal-has not felt like Helen once or twice in their lives? The wallflower, the third wheel, the one who longs for what they cannot hope to have-as well as one who tumbles headfirst (despite a litany of good reasons to the contrary) into an impossible love or devastating crush?

Very well done, both of you!
Elsie Cubitt chapter 9 . 6/6/2005
You really bring the interaction between both Watson and Mary and Holmes and Helen to light and to life in this chapter. These two pairs of people make good counterpoints to each other, which I believe is your intention. This is a nice driving force to your story as a whole. I also like the theme of balance, which you have used quite judiciously.

A few things to which you need to pay attention, however: You really do need to watch the language- in other ways and places than I had earlier indicated (that is to say, grammar and syntax). Some of your language, having read this a couple of times through now, is a little too modern. I'm guessing that you're trying to keep in the spirit of Doyle, but you're not trying to follow him absolutely to the letter. For one thing, you're writing mostly in the third person.

Another thing: I'm not *quite* so sure about a cab of the horse-drawn variety "speeding off down the street," particularly when the thing would have to walk and then trot before it gathered speed.

Be careful about the way you make reference to Watson's stories. The part about "oysters taking over the world" is cute, particularly to those of us who know the Canon quite well. Problem is, that takes place in DYIN. Your story is set sometime directly after SCAN. It's not a good thing to reference things that have yet to happen.

Be careful when you refer to both composers and their music, particularly the movements. It's most certainly "Haydn" rather than "Hayden," just as it's "Concerti" rather than "Concertos" and "Rondo" rather than "Rondeau."

Also, Prof Pangaea of LJ fame had a rather good point when she pointed out the part about psychoanalysis. I'm not sure if Mary Watson would be in the position to be drawing these inferences, even if she had worked with children for so long. Furthermore, though I understand how the part about the sex crimes is supposed to work, you want to be careful about inserting material like this, even if, and especially if, to show Helen's singular curiosity. You guys arguably pushed the envelope here. It works on one level, but only barely. The part about the finger prints was much better done, and it probably would have worked better if you concentrated on this and what he was doing to her hands- unless, of course, this is going to come up again later in the story. It really was a nice touch, given the significance of fingerprints- *individuality*. My guess is that you're trying to play with your audience to suggest that perhaps instead of Holmes seeing Helen as just a member of the fair sex- a generalization- he is seeing her as an individual. It's too bad you didn't emphasize this point further instead of the other one about sex killers (Jack the Ripper and all that to the contrary).
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