Reviews for Unnaturally Beautiful
BleedingHearts chapter 13 . 6/7/2011
Ok, I spent the past week reading this on AFF and I couldn't stop. It was really disappointing to hear it won't be completed as I was really enjoying the storyline.

There were a few spelling mistakes and the characters sometimes fell in and out of character (which is understandable since the film didn't reveal much about Jareth) but I think the only thing I would change is the amount of detail. It's good that you know how the characters should be, but the amount of description on the clothes alone was a bit too far. Just give us little clues and let your readers' imaginations do the rest.

Sorry to be so negative. I did really enjoy this. The sex scenes are brilliant and I love the scenes you've set in most of the chapters. Well done.
sea mermaid princess chapter 13 . 11/2/2010
such a amzing story continue with you fab writing style
Nothing-Special-010 chapter 13 . 8/2/2010
this is such an amazing story so far ] I really hope to read more!
CharokeeRose chapter 1 . 3/30/2010
I love this story.I have read it since you started it on Aff and i have been a constant fan of is my favorite couple on the movie and i love your style of writing. i hope to see more of this soon.
startlaughing chapter 13 . 3/21/2010
This was really, quite an entertaining read :)

I love how things don't progress to quickly, and you writing gives the story a nice even flow. Although I do wish Jareth's daddeh wasn't such a bum tho ;)

It's nice to see some great Toby/Jareth work, and I hope they'll be living a love-filled life soon in this story!

Hope to read more tata for now :)
VannaOrihara chapter 13 . 2/24/2010
Aw u never finished this beautiful story3

white06rose chapter 13 . 6/1/2009
love it...cannot wait to
A.Steele chapter 1 . 4/27/2009
omg, I just finished reading the original on AFF about five minute ago, and I almost died when I thought you were ending it. But I'm so happy that you're going on with the story- the first one was amazing and I'm so excited to see what you'll do with your edited version!
RavenclawRocks chapter 12 . 3/29/2009
"If pressed he would have to guess that the boy in his shyness was holding the king at bay and out of fear or scaring their guest off he was giving him whatever birth he needed."

It's 'berth', not 'birth'.

Birth: beginning, parentage, ancestry, line, blood, family, race; start, commencement, inception, genesis; launching, inauguration.

Berth:give a wide berth to, to shun; remain discreetly away from.

Great story though.
Sleeples92 chapter 6 . 1/22/2009
Sleeples92 chapter 5 . 1/22/2009
so they skipped the 3 dates rule and went straight to the sex n.n

Bad, bad Jareth!
Sleeples92 chapter 4 . 1/22/2009
now we know

but the thing is poor Toby has just begun his adventure, ain't he?
Sleeples92 chapter 3 . 1/22/2009
how sweet!

now I want a big sister who's just like Sarah
Sleeples92 chapter 2 . 1/22/2009
Oh no, Sarah will FREAK when she sees the drawing :)
Sleeples92 chapter 1 . 1/22/2009
i am really loving it

never heard of labyrinth slash before

...but its good!
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