|Reviews for Strike Four|
| Wolfisis chapter 9 . 7/10
I liked this kinda wish you had more to it, it would be great to see where you went with this story.
| Birdie chapter 9 . 5/18/2014
I really liked his story but you should fix your rating. It shouldn't be an am I think it's more of a T. But I really did like it :)
| Birdie chapter 1 . 5/18/2014
I don't like first person story but man is this one good. Lovely just lovely :)
| The Green Eyed Cat chapter 1 . 1/22/2013
I laughed so hard at this! Truely brilliant! And yes, they definitely shouldn't let that be the last time they kiss ... or anything else ;)
| Nova laVie chapter 9 . 6/1/2011
oh wow, i love it love it love it!
| sweetiiey chapter 9 . 4/7/2011
| crazylove4MCR chapter 9 . 2/13/2010
aww... that was so cute, I loved it!
| Purple-Spotted Pikadili chapter 9 . 7/19/2009
Aw... that was really cute! I love teenage Snape, and Sirius is hilarious! That HA part was really VERY funny! Fabulous job!
| Lil Kitsune-chan chapter 9 . 6/26/2009
I loves it! I thought it was pretty darn funny. I hope you wrote a sequel for this .
| Sevisabottom chapter 9 . 6/12/2009
its so cute
| Utena-Puchiko-nyu chapter 2 . 5/26/2009
Sirius isn't gay... he's Severus-sexual XD
kisses from Argentina!
| Utena-Puchiko-nyu chapter 1 . 5/26/2009
I'm reading again XD
I need my SBSS.
Kisses from Argentina!
| HPFlightlessBird chapter 9 . 5/10/2009
This is really funny! Love your language in this FF :D
It's just great reading, and Sirius and Snape - SIGH! 3
| TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel chapter 9 . 5/3/2009
| Very Small Prophet chapter 4 . 4/4/2009
The problem with this story, in my opinion, is that I hear no difference between the voices of the two characters. Sirius and Severus talk and think exactly alike, with the same phrases, the same humor, the same rhythms. It might as well be narrated by one person. You don't want that because your story is essentially a character study. You're showing the byplay between two people who are developing a relationship, and the contrasting way they see their interactions. But I see no contrast, so therefore nothing to hold my interest.
The voice sounds to me like Sirius, the young Gryffindor with a silly sense of humor. Severus, even as a teenager, can be more laconic, more sarcastic, more controlled. And he should have a bigger vocabulary and a more formal way of speaking. I know he's just a teenager, but he's extremely intelligent and he reads an enormous amount; this is what builds up your vocabulary. I know because I was one of those brainy teenagers myself, though not as brilliant as our boy Sev.
Another reason for Severus to speak more carefully than Sirius is his background: he's a working class boy from the wrong side of town, so he's had to learn how to speak properly to hide his class background. There's probably a horrible working class accent (Isn't he supposed to be from Yorkshire?) buried under all those layers of careful elocution and multisyllabic words. Sirius, as a genuine member of the upper class, has nothing to prove and can speak more casually.
Snape may be harder to write at first, but once you get the hang of him he's lots of fun. I wish I could be as clever and biting as Severus in real life.