Reviews for My Brother
Isumo1489 chapter 17 . 7/11/2005
No big, I understand the whole being in chaos thing.

But, I really meant it if you could give me the, "insturction manual", on getting started with the actual typing and posting. That and I could really use an experience Co writer to get me started.

Anyway, I'll keep my eyes open.

Later days!

Isumo
Sacred Dust chapter 17 . 7/10/2005
Tai/Kari. Now this fascinates me. I never thought about it before, but actually, it is an interesting concept...one which you are using pretty well. Congrats.
Helen Jones chapter 17 . 7/10/2005
This is a very interesting and creative story.
silky stars chapter 17 . 7/10/2005
wow that was so fantastic...so romantic i like how you put the whistle part and how it play the music plus hikari and taichi moments standing on the balcony _true wonderful!
Dark Qiviut chapter 17 . 7/10/2005
Once more, Jinn, quite nice work, and I can see some improvement in this chapter. Nice work, Jinn.
Birdboy chapter 17 . 7/10/2005
I didn't mean either, I meant surrounding the flashbacks with "Begin flashback" and "End flashback", the flashbacks themselves are good. :P

I mean, you have them in italics already...

That said, this latest chapter was so sweet!
Dark Qiviut chapter 16 . 7/10/2005
Yo there, Jinn. I bet you heard of me before.

Before I do my review, I will do my review. I think incest is gross, bar none. I find it very disturbing and disgusting. And hearing it makes my skin crawl.

But... I do enjoy this story. I can see the emotion in there and that you're trying to make us feel it. The emotion has been raw.

Now, I'll suggest this. When separating end/beginning author's notes, I suggest that you use the line next to the big bold "B" in your QuickEdit system. Either that or use the "hr" tag if you're using html.

There were also some punctuation errors, especially at the end of the quotes, especially if the sentence is supposed to end in a period. I suggest that you put in puntuation in there.

Now, for correct spellings, "cant" is spelled "can't," the letter "I" must be capitalized (there were several places where the I was lower-cased).

As for grammar, you used the word "its" where it was supposed to be "it's (it is)." There were some places where you did not put in the apostraphe in it's.

"Highschool" is two words "High School."

I also suggest that you mentioned who said in these quotes, because there were many places in this story where I don't know who said what. For example of what I mean... (From Ch. 15)

[ “You don’t remember, do you?”

“Remember what?”

“When Taichi gave those to everyone?”

“I don’t think I so…”

“Before he left to Highschool, he gave you his, don’t you remember?” ]

I don't know who's speaking who.

While you have quite a bit to work to do before becoming a good writer, I don't find the fic that bad. I enjoy it even though it *is* incest. But whatever the case, I do enjoy it, and I suggest you continue it.

I like the fic. It just needs some cleaning up to do, that's all. But it is nice work as far as I'm concerning; keep it up.

P.S.: Sorry if I offended you.
Isumo1489 chapter 16 . 7/6/2005
not too well, I'm afraid.

I've been trying to come up with new kids, but my main OC Jason, is the only one that I could think of without stealing someone elses' idea, though I have enough for the first few chapters on paper. So, how do I get the text typed to More importantly, can you ppossibly help me design new characters, sorry if it may seem to be asking much, but I'm really open to any help I can get. You know how to reach me so, please answer soon. Thanks again!

Isumo
Isumo1489 chapter 16 . 7/6/2005
not too well, I'm afraid.

I've been trying to come up with new kids, but my main OC Jason, is the only one that I could think of without stealing someone elses' idea, though I have enough for the first few chapters on paper. So, how do I get the text typed to More importantly, can you ppossibly help me design new characters, sorry if it may seem to be asking much, but I'm really open to any help I can get. You know how to reach me so, please answer soon. Thanks again!

Isumo
Birdboy chapter 16 . 7/6/2005
It's cute, most of it at least...

But I really don't like the "Start flashback" and "End flashback" thing.
DarkMetalAngel of Destruction chapter 16 . 7/6/2005
O_o;; the way u put that on the comment smelled sumthing very illegal. lol. well hope to read more from you soon. l8r
silky stars chapter 16 . 7/6/2005
yay! am done! so sweet how you put the story with the necklace (sparkling eyes) the whistle thats makes sound fom hikari to taichi aw...the lesson about cigarette is so true (nodding) hm...so nice ...aw i can't wait for the next go on yay! so excited your so cool at this stuff _ next more romace aw...
silky stars chapter 15 . 7/3/2005
ah...sora and hikari are getting alond thats good _ now have to wait and see how much angst your going to put in, this just make the story so magical, i loved it! so write soon!_
Isumo1489 chapter 15 . 7/2/2005
Good chapter, as I have said before.

Jenn, I have been wondering when you will be able to get back to me on my idea, I'll be waiting for your answer via mail as usual. Plaese contact me as soon as is convienient for you.

Later Days!

Isumo
Rouroni Tai chapter 10 . 7/2/2005
i like this fic a lotand olso i like forbbiden loves (except yaoi) and ina strange mode taikari couple is cute weird but cute
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