Reviews for Delita, the King
Nollypoo chapter 1 . 5/23
It's been years since I read this for the first time, and it still haunts me. I don't think the last paragraph will ever not chill me!
Silvara chapter 1 . 6/15/2008
I feel a little stupid but I did not understand the ending... v_v

Could you please, explain me ?
Raindog Bride chapter 1 . 12/11/2006
So very depressing. And very well done. I like how you took the oh... benevolent bastardness of Delita and turned it into something real. I really love this.
Croik chapter 1 . 5/13/2006
I'm not very good at giving long reviews, so let me just say that this is a beautiful, moving piece of fanfiction. Your writing was detailed and vague in all the right places and the way you organized it was very appropriate. I love Delita's character and it's such a treat to see him portrayed so well.

The only criticism I can offer is I thought the very end felt a little abrupt. I'd really expected the fic to end in "present time" with Delita in the woods. Not that it detracts from the story, I just thought it was a interesting place to end.

Regardless, I really enjoyed your fic.
JustAPasserby chapter 1 . 11/3/2005
Can someone please explain to me about the final

Delita and Ramza confrotation thing ? (I get a bit confused with the fate of ramza... and delita's delirium makes me more confused (but the fact that you made me feel as if I feel what Delita felt was great though!)

other than that, Wow. Just wow.

I held my breath as I was reading the whole thing.

Something I wished had been on the ending of the game itself !
Burke chapter 1 . 5/8/2005
You know, I’m not used to giving reviews where I don’t point out some sort of mistake, so this feels kind of awkward. But the thing is...I didn’t find any, and yet it would be an injustice to leave this without a review.

I like the way you write. I’ll say that to start with. Your position on Delita is rather neutral, which seems like the ideal for a person like him. The neutrality in your writing actually sort of reminds me of George R.R. Martin, and since I LOVE GRRM, I have to compliment you on that: Excellent job. Your take on Delita is spot on.

You know what? Scratch that. It’s a crock. Your take on Delita is better the fugging GAME’S take on Delita. In FFT itself, Delita always came off as more a simple, petty asshole that screws people because he doesn’t want to get screwed himself, than an idealist. And while there’s nothing really wrong with that kind of character – one of my favorite historical figures in fact, is famous for the phrase “Better to wrong the world than to have it wrong me!” – the way the game’s narrative preaches about his ‘values’ always just made me sick, because it never really shows him do a single thing after Chapter One that doesn’t have some selfish, almost blatantly evil motive attached to it.

This on the other hand, shows him as a guy who has flaws, but isn’t EMBODIED by those flaws. It doesn’t change my opinion of him or anything – but it’s a great story nonetheless. I wish the game had had half as much storytelling competence as you. Maybe if it had, I could relate to it better.

And while that might (or might not) seem like effusive, exaggerated praise to you, I assure you that it is not.

Also: Extra kudos on that last scene, where he’s delirious. It’s hard as hell to write a character delirious, and not make it seem completely silly, but you managed. I envy you that.
Ilvinaeda chapter 1 . 5/1/2005

I don't know how to review this. Seriously.

I guess the only thing I can try to do is share what I think and feel as I read this story...

Firstly, this is not light reading...and although the shortness of the summary almost drove me away, once I saw the first paragraph...I had to read.

And on that note, the only criticism I can offer is that your summary is so akin to that of others, who just jot down incomplete thoughts and such...myself included...I guess that my best angle on it is that it gives the false impression that the story will be "unprofessionally written"...and especially when you compare it to the story within, it feels almost inadequate.

Almost, mind you. Because as tenshi said, it fits in the sense that it's right to the point...and the profound story within more than compensates for the brief summary.

I guess it just goes to prove that you can't judge a book by its cover...

And the skill which you demonstrate in the use of the written almost scary. Rather than show a Delita who has finally cracked, or one who never feels remorse...this Delita feels so...empty. Apathetic nature at its best.

From the last few moments of life, up until the finality of offer not just a narrative, but memories, flashbacks...and finally, when the line between memory and illusion becomes indeterminate, like tenshi said, "we see the end of a man; no more, no less."

The greatest thing about this piece, I think, is the fact that even in the game, and in life, he never really gets over his hatred of the nobility...something that haunts him to no end. And yet, it's not as if he feels any less of a man for it...which makes it

So terribly pessimistic and yet realistic of the character I cannot either love or hate. And so frighteningly accurate.

A wonderful piece of fiction. Keep writing.
Evil Mina chapter 1 . 4/25/2005
Wow, I don't have anything very constructive to add, as everything has pretty much been said, but this is great! I like this more every time I reread it, because there are little details and things that I missed the first time around (partly because I have the reading comprehension skills of a two year-old, but that's another story). First of all, the whole concept of the fic, in which Delita's present thoughts as he lies dying are interwoven with flashbacks of what happened fifty years ago, is very clever. The scene right after Ovelia's death was so touching, especially the way you depicted Delita's utter shock, which was much more powerful than simply making him sob about how much he missed Ovelia and how he was sorry for killing her. The exchange between the nurse and Delita, where she lauds him for all he's done for the commoners and he just shakes his head was just...awesome, for lack of a better word. And I *love* the final confrontation between Delita and Ramza. Good Delita fics are rare, as most of them either reduce him to an overly repentant, snivelling baby or caricaturize him as a diabolical Machiavellian monster, but you chose not to judge him, rather showing what he felt in his situation. Anyways, sorry to ramble on, and great job! I hope you write more Tactics fics.
TobyKikami chapter 1 . 4/25/2005
Hey, this was in the Icybrian fanfic contest, wasn't it? It's just as good now as it was then - that is, good. Anyway... well, what else can I say that hasn't been said before? Except Radcliffe. I love Radcliffe.
Would you kindly delete this chapter 1 . 4/25/2005
To put it quite simply, what Tenshi said. Amazing work.
Nistelle chapter 1 . 4/24/2005
Hey Tenshi:

Well, I couldn't have asked for a nicer review if my mother had written it. It's always affirming when a reader mentions aspects of your story that you worked hard to achieve (but not make TOO obvious). Especially awesome for me was the "quintessential Delita Hyral" line - I don't know if I've got him 100%, but that's certainly what I was trying for.

So, yes, thank you so much for this well-thought-out and detailed review. If you liked this, you should read the short story "Bullet in the Brain" by Tobias Wolff: it describes the thirty seconds between a man getting shot and his death, and I shamelessly ripped off the idea. However: my version has chocobos.

- Nistelle
trimurti chapter 1 . 4/24/2005
I have to say it: I honestly love this story. The precise writing, the many details that thread through the's overwhelming and yet so perfect at once. If I were to liken this fic to something, it would be the finished product at a loom for making exquisite rugs. Every thread is in place, the colors are lush without being too garish and tacky, and there is a spirit woven in that makes the whole picture seem more real and complete than if it had been just a well-made throw rug. I'll admit to being skeptical when I first read the summary and the word count ("It took you almost 6,0 words to kill off the guy? That's some death speech."), but after reading the story I'm convinced that there is no other way to describe it.

Your 'prologue', where the overview of the story is given and Delita actually dies, really sets the tone of the story. It's very matter-of-fact with no wasted words, and the mystery of why Delita was wounded was taken care of in what I felt was a very interesting way-it happened, but the why isn't as important as the fact that it happened. The present tense used at each hour was an especially nice touch when juxtaposed with the past tense used for his memories. It makes so much sense, and it's such a simple trick, but it's neither used all that often or implemented so casually. It just flows very nicely and gives a subtle effect to the story as a whole-so subtle that I can't describe it.

For the sake of not putting too many spoilers for the story in my review, I won't go through the entire story in that vein. It should suffice to say that I feel you have shown us the quintessential Delita Hyral. You have shown him as a hero to the commoners, as a vulnerable man directly after Ovelia's murder (and kudos to you for not going over the actual event itself, but the aftermath of it. After all, we've all seen the act itself), and finally his own complicated feelings towards his once-best friend and how he reacts. Or, more rightly, lashes out. It is in that last memory, with the 'is this real or a delusion' matched with the fact that he is in the final moments of his life in present time that really underscores who Delita truly is, scars and heroic image all. I find it incredible how you show us this without any definitive statements, just like how real people can't be defined as 'good' or 'evil' without a lot of generalization. He is real here, just a man struggling, just a man dying.

Thank you for giving us a real work of art to read.