OK, I love these guys!

"Erik stepped back from the trap door that sprung open under him..." It is an interesting tool. i'm working with an older Erik with health and memory issues, and he doesn't step back. I turn 70 shortly and it's given me a whole new view of aging characters.

It's interesting to see Erik growing as a person. Great angle.

Madam Giry steals the scene AGAIN! "You look freshly dug up." Too good! I really like her and hate to see her, and Meg maligned in any way.

(Off topic) The young lady (and I say young, because that is what she sounded like) on the discussion page, she wanted to discuss LND. I am fully ready to opine on that musical too, but I really didn't mean to offend anyone with my condensation of DJT and the gendarmes. I really have a tough time taking ALL of Phantom seriously, even the Leroux standard. Is humor NOT allowed on the discussion pages? You can answer me either by FB message or however you would like. I want to remain ACTIVE and I don't want to get banned from the group.

I really think I'm headed for the bed at this point, it's after midnight here.

Also, 8 Years!. My own stuff sat from 1990 to last year before I decided to rework it. I promise at some point, the quasi farce will make it's debut.

I MAY get another section in before I nod off.

Later.

Paragraph that starts: "My husband," Louise said - Christine made to forget her resolutions about being; (About 'being' what?) I think a word is missing...

The muse is waiting, that's ok - he'll be there tomorrow...

In regard to your trivia: Isn't it great when your research turns up interesting trivia. It's kind of an "I didn't know THAT!" moment.

The mental picture of Erik walking through the battle, with none of it touching him is startling. As if only he could do it. This statement written regarding the passage that ends: "But nobody heard"

How sad, giving deadly "candy" to the little girl, then finding the house where Raoul and Egrot's were asd burned out shell.

My own muse may sit waiting tonight.

Seeing red. For her a good thing, I think.

10pm US central daylight time. Time to grab a glasses of wine and water and maybe I can get two more chapters in before my own muse decides to return.

Fifth paragraph - (Erik let go the Vicomte's shoulder, and he tumbled down onto the dusty cobbles like a puppet and lay still.) Who is the subject? Erik or Raoul? I think I had to read past this to be sure who tumbled and lay still.

"We fought together..." Oh yes... (I csn be cynical and satirical in these comments, can't I? It annoys Erik because Raoul doesn't babble? Oh, just too good!

Please advise if satire and cynicism (toward the fic only, not the writer.) Personally I like a bit of comedy.

Whew - Jules...A good name. I gave it to Raoul's adoptive father.

I think this is it for tonight.

Later

My historic reenactor antennae are up!

Paragraph 14: starts "Good Day..." How big is the girls "big hat"? I pulled out my Harpers Bazar Victorian Fashions. 1870 hats were smallish, clung close to the head with feathers that followed the lines of the hat.

I have my little pile of reference books in the chair beside me, and almost caused a small "book" slide when I pulled that book and my "Survey of Historic Costume out. These books have caused me to swear a bit over hats. When I set my farce of a fic in the 1890-1910s, I wanted to use the big hats as an ongoing gag. Erik getting attacked by the feathers. Then I found that the 90s hats weren't big enough to hold the monstrous ostrich feathers I needed for the gag. I did something else, and it worked, but it wasn't as much fun or as effective.

OMS&G (Oh my stars and garters! (An American Western version of OMG)) - Meg is what? OH no! This is a twist that I didn't expect. After much searching, I found your original answer on the ages of Phantom and Giry, So the math doesn't work. whew... Although a 13 year old CAN sire a child, it would be unusual. I did give that paragraph about six reads before I went on.

Paragraph 11: Proofreader Question: "...with these news." News is one of those funny English words and the grammar checker sometimes doesn't like it, but it isn't wrong. It sounds wrong. "these news" might be "this news" or "these headlines".

There is no need for an answer on this one.

Comment: I do love a story that sends me off to do research. (You know the ones where you sit back scratch your head and say: 'they couldn't have done that' and go off to prove it!) I've been doing some research on Offenbach myself because my posse are at the Moulin Rouge and Orpheus in the Underworld overture is one of their probably most played melodies (although any good gallop music would do). So I have confirmed his management of the theater. Bravo!

20,000 and a box - Love it! I worked that amount out in US dollars $500,074.78 for one year - I'll go live in the bowels of the Garnier for a year for that amount.

OK - I'm not going to read ahead, because I like the suspense, but Christine is keeping 1 secret...She's not 'with child' is she? (Don't answer that. Suspense is everything.

Comment: "What will happen to us..." - The Prussians (Germans) are notorious for mistreating peoples on captured peoples.

So we have (and excuse the spelling here) Raoul in Le Chene and Erik in Sedan, about 110-120 miles (I'm guessing US miles since I'm using US routing maps) My guess is that somehow in the ensuing chapters they are going to interact.

...and we're going into battle...

A note on American idiom: "Go to hell in a handcart" - When the Mormons were moving from Illinois to Utah (hell according to many Americans), if they were wealthy enough for wagons, of course, they took them, but most were very poor, so the pushed or pulled "handcarts" they crossed Iowa, Nebraska and the Rocky Mountains on foot, using these handcarts. So there is the origin of "to hell in a handcart." Now it looks like it has entered international usage.

Glad to see Raoul back in the picture.

Great way of handling Christine.

Going for a bit more.

Still here and reading, no big comments tonight.

You handled this scene very well.

Y

This is going to be a tough one to review. Don't take any of it too personally, but there are questions. If you prefer to answer by PM on FB you know who I am now.

Lets delve into the sex part first. I know that most, if not all of these fan fics have one purpose: light porn. (In face there are some writers that would make a hard core porn writer flinch.) I have to admit, I'm right in there with those that feel that way. You didn't get as descriptive as I even would have done. However, I believe that the sex should serve the story, not the story to serve the sex. You wrote the scene very swell.

Here's the question: Why here at this point? There really isn't any build up for Christine to just take out and head over to Eriks place and make out. Did you feel that you would lost readers if you didn't get a sex scene in at this point?

I made it through 20 chapters and am still hooked and will continue reading, but this scene just kind of broke the spell. I had pulled my own fic up and was happily working on Gerard taking responsibility for his unborn son, when I moved back to see what you were going to be taking us readers. You should take that as a compliment, because I should be doing the dishes that are piled up on the drainboard in the kitchen, instead of reading OR writing.

I think if there had been a set up chapter, some reason for Christine to take off and go to him, it might not have been so jarring. There may be a perfectly good reason for this, and I'll be forging ahead (after I do the dishes - I'm almost out of forks...)

Enough for now, it's almost 8 pm here in the states and I need to do something constructive. Have a happy evening!