Reviews for Falter
CosmicEssence chapter 1 . 7/23/2015
I like this. It shows awesome Iruka and a hurting as you say 'faltering' Naruto. Excellent show of emotions and events. Well done.
Guest chapter 1 . 12/19/2014
Nice! Thanks for writing a young Naruto & Iruka fic, with some background just enough sweetness.
NoeticSky chapter 1 . 11/19/2013
Wow this was so well-written and everyone was in character and Iruka-and-Naruto-my-babies-ILY-I-just-want-to-hug- the-pain-away

Thanks for writing this! Looking forward to reading more of your great fics!
mndstjohn chapter 1 . 5/14/2013
Good story. Will there be any more?
adfs chapter 1 . 10/13/2011
lolz, can't believe i'm still reading naruto fanfic.

i really like this story. a lot of people make iruka so sappy, i like how you've showed the struggle that iruka goes through to accept his student. thanks.
chanez chapter 1 . 2/5/2011
I loved this story! First Iruka/Naruto i read and it was great! I liked the way you portrayed their characters and gave insight into what Iruka thought about having Naruto as his student. The language, characterization, general flow of the story was great and I thought the ending was really sweet when Naruto actually decided to turn up for class on time. Great job! D
Anonymoose chapter 1 . 1/23/2011
Excellent one-shot.
Y0URIMAGINARYFRIEND chapter 1 . 12/7/2010
Wow...just beautiful. I love the realism you bring to Naruto's childhood, how you make him like a real child who has suffered, rather than just a cocky brat.

Also, your Iruka is wonderful. Not just a bottomless well of kindness as he's sometimes depicted, but someone still recovering from the past and learning to overcome his unthinking reactions.

If all you're writing is this good, you'll fast be one of my favourite authors.
WhyMustIWrite chapter 1 . 11/8/2010
Wow...I read this story /years/ ago, before I even had a ff account. I'm happy to have stumbled across it again. This is one of my favorite portrayals of the start of Iruka and Naruto's teacher-student relationship. I love the way you presented the conflict and struggle in Iruka's heart, demonstrating how vividly he was affected by the loss of his parents but also the underlying sense of decency and compassion that define his character. I appreciate how you started the story by showing (not telling) us how nervous Iruka was about this particular class. Naruto's characterization was spot on as well. I think my two favorite Naruto moments were his belly-flop onto the desk, and his declaration that he could see how Iruka glared at him (the latter because it was a particularly striking moment). There's a lot to love in this story. Thanks for sharing.
mikidagreat chapter 1 . 11/8/2010
I don't understand why I haven't reviewed this before. o.o This is awesomesauce! This and Meshelly's Turning Points are, to me, the defining fics that show who canon Iruka should be (did that... make sense?). Anyway, if you haven't read that, you totally should. The author's the reason why I stumbled upon this, after all.

I loved the scene where Naruto was all, with his eyes, "Just give me the book, *sensei*!" but Irukkun wouldn't let go. Teehee. That was adorable. The little descriptions you gave everyone were right on the mark, as well. I love how this is serious but you manage to keep it lighthearted.

I would write more but I feel like you get my drift? This story is amazing, I wish you'd write more on their relationship.
Payce D. Elui chapter 1 . 8/23/2010
Oh, the ending... You portrayed Iruka wonderfully! Beautifully in character for what is canon about the way Iruka used to feel about Naruto.
name-me-regret chapter 1 . 4/13/2010
i love this story. good job!
X59 chapter 1 . 4/6/2010
Really interesting.
blerghy chapter 1 . 1/15/2010
That was fantastic! An interesting read. :D
Tsinoitulover chapter 1 . 1/15/2010
This is awsomeness. *thumbs up* :)

One-liner aside, the most moving aspect of this piece is how well you've portrayed Iruka as just, well, Iruka. You've done a very realistic characterization of Iruka that is refreshing to read.

I especially love how you have Iruka's regard towards Naruto gradually change just ever so slightly-not too little, not too much. From your story it's more like Iruka is a fair person in general, even if the student in question is Naruto-really Iruka would generally do the same things for other failing students (make-up tests and whatnot). That drew me to notice that it wasn't Iruka's actions that significantly changed, but Iruka's heart behind the actions.

Towards the end I found myself counting down the time with Iruka, feeling his growing anxiety and then his relief at seeing Naruto show up within at the last second.

"Iruka smiled." A perfect last-liner to the oneshot (made me all warm and gushy :D) where readers can see the beginning of the change that will eventually lead to a close bond between Iruka and Naruto.

My only issue was the how you described Naruto's voice. I fidgeted a little upon reading how sarcastic and bitter Naruto came off as.

I think that the Naruto's dialogue is fine but that the surrounding diction describing Naruto's voice is a little off for him. Just a few words like "hissed" and "half-sneered" totally shifts the tone. Hated Kyuubi container or not, I think this Naruto is still a young boy more confused and hurt at the hatred (he doesn't even know about the Kyuubi at this point).

For example if you take just the one bracketed word "half-sneered" and try out a variety of other words I think the tone of Naruto's voice changes noticeably even if the dialogue doesn't change. Just for the sake of making my point clear, by changing the word to "whiny" v.s "cold" you can see how that word casts totally different tone on entire the dialogue.

(Naruto didn’t even look at the test. “So what?” was his [half-sneered] response. “Even if I did get here on time and studied for those stupid tests, you wouldn’t pass me. You’d find some stupid little thing that didn’t look right and flunk me either way. I’ve had half a dozen teachers do that and another dozen more try it. Don’t bother pretending to be nice. I’ve seen how you glare at me.”)

LOLS, is infamous for one-liner "reviews" but I really liked this thoughtful onsehot and hence, a thoughtful review that I hope will help you. :)
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