|Reviews for Change the World|
| CuTe ToGePi chapter 1 . 8/28/2005
I LOVE IT DO MORE! ok pretty good description nice length. that's all i can say. DO MORE!
| finalwish chapter 1 . 6/16/2005
Good story. I like your description, but you have to decide whether you want to use past tense or present tense! You seem to have a mix of both, and it doesn't really flow with the story. So be sure to . . . um, change that later on okay?
Second of all, are you going to call the Pokemon "it" or "she" or "he" or what? In the beginning, when you described Combusken, this is what you said:
"Combusken!" it threatened to its opponents as it landed on the floor on her feet with a 'thump'.
See, you said "it" but then "her". So which one? Decide on that.
She threw her arms up and hollered at the top of her lungs to show that she had no fear for those who challenge it.
I see you are using "she" for Combusken, but what about the other Pokemon? You seem to be using "it" for them. And again, past tense or present tense (challenge or challenged).
Sorry for the long review. But good story . . . so far LOL! *goes off to read the next chapter*
| K-316 chapter 1 . 5/4/2005
Cool rewrittn fic so update soon and by the way if you wanna chat with me my AIM is hybernator669..byez! _
| Ice-Phoenix-chan chapter 1 . 5/3/2005
Great chapter! Your descriptions were really good but a couple of mistakes ;;
"Pikachu, the Mouse Pokémon" I don't think the mouse part needs to be captalized ;;
"“In this battle, you may use up to for Pokémon..." I think you meant four rather than for ;;
*laughs* a typical Team Rocket encounter, eh? Heh, I guess the revision and editing was worth it. Update soon!
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/1/2005
no y did u make ash n may lose
| Kyle K chapter 1 . 5/1/2005
Woohoo! I've been waiting for this! I was a fan of the old version of this story, and to see
it rewritten this well is quite a treat for me,
though it was somewhat painful to watch Ash lose...but who cares? Anyway, aside from a couple of clunky descriptions, this was pretty
much perfect. Fine work, Kanta.