|Reviews for My Grandfather's Ghost|
| Jfmam chapter 30 . 4/23
I don't know how you can call this chapter bland; I found it riveting. That said, I find the revelations about Alan's past home-life depressing. I hope we get further exploration of Jim's character and mindset, otherwise it might seem he is an inexplicably terrible father. I mean, what's been recounted is child-abuse. I've had problems with how the Fentons have been described, but considering everything is written from Alan's point of view, that attitude is understandable. I don't like the idea of child-abuse for the sake of drama, if you get my meaning. While there are probably real-life cases where parents are abusive for no real reason, I feel it would be deeply unsatisfactory if that was the case here.
Sorry for the rant, I still found this a very strong chapter, and despite my discomfort with Alan's past, I can see that you have clear plans for this characterisation.
| Jfmam chapter 29 . 4/20
Wow, what a chapter.
I have to see what happens next. This is going to be intense.
| Jfmam chapter 28 . 4/20
I enjoyed this chapter. It's good getting a further look into Alan's character. Personally, I don't think you need to fit a ghost villain into every chapter, but as long as you write it well,there's no problem.
I don't think I'll ever get used to the whole 'Fentons are idiots' thing. I understand how you get it from the show, but I feel like it overshadows the positive aspects that they had. Mind you, I guess we're mostly dealing with a later generation, but I still can't quite wrap my head around Danny and Sam's son continuous being called an idiot. Your choice though, and I still really enjoy your story despite this.
| Jfmam chapter 26 . 4/19
Once again, an enjoyable chapter.
I think we can say that there's definite character development on Jim's part, whether it's enough to mend things with Alan will have to be seen, but at least he's trying. Granted, he's got A LOT to make up for, so I expect it'll take awhile.
Personally, Alan's badmouthing of all the Fenton males, not just his father, still grates with me, but I suppose I didn't have to suffer through the Fenton family legacy. I still hope that he may eventually see Jack at least in a kinder light, though obviously, such things take time,and should not be rushed.
The encounter with Ember was interesting, more for their interaction and Alan's display of detective work, as you mentioned. I do wonder why Alan won't acquire a Fenton Thermos; he passed up a perfect opportunity during that encounter with his family. I suppose he must think it not worth it, what with no ready access to a Ghost Portal.
As always, your story is hard to stop reading!
| Jfmam chapter 25 . 4/19
Another good chapter. The character moments really are the highlights, but the headless-horseman chase was cool too.
| Jfmam chapter 23 . 4/18
Another interesting chapter.
The scene at the dojo was good. I look forward to seeing where that goes.
The ghost fight was okay. To be honest, at the moment, they're not the most interesting part of the story for me. About the Fenton Thermos: I know it was brought up last chapter, but it didn't seem at the time like you were going to take it anywhere. I've been thinking for awhile that Alan needs one; up to now he's just been beating ghosts up, and I didn't think that was a viable option. Thing is though, in this chapter, it gets passed off as Alan forgetting it. Now maybe that was just for Desiree's benefit, because up to this point it didn't seem like he'd ever been bothered to use one. Was Alan supposed to have taken his parents' one from the fight? I might have expected it, but it wasn't mentioned, so I'm just unsure.
I liked the scene with Sherri and Kerri, though ultimately I hope we actually see more of Jim. At any rate, it's obvious that Jim's apparent breakdown is going to be important, so I look forward to more of that.
| Jfmam chapter 22 . 4/18
Wow, what a chapter.
This confrontation has surely been a long time coming, and it was certainly a powerful moment.
While I have felt that you've been kinda hard on Jack and Jim Phantom, this confrontation really laid out on the table the legitimate grievances that Alan has towards Jim, while also, I feel, finally pushing Jim himself beyond the somewhat narrow character he has been.
I have to say though, that I feel that some of the conversation with Sam afterwards somewhat undermined parts of the confrontation. Not Alan thinking that wasn't himself talking (though it totally was), which is understandable, but rather some of his explanations to Sam. Explaining that Jim calls every ghost he sees "Inviso-Bill", conflicts with the shock Alan was described as feeling at the time, as well as undermining some of the character development for Jim. The confrontation had felt like an airing of grievances for both father and son, and providing an explanation, though not justification for Jim's actions. The later conversation made the confrontation seem less significant, as if Jim was just spouting off something he'd say to any ghost. That doesn't lessen the impact for Alan, but certainly doesn't do Jim's character any favours.
That said, the idea that Jim had convinced himself that "Inviso-Bill" had killed his father, despite never being told that, worked well. Which is why it seemed better when Jim appeared to recognise Alan as "Inviso-Bill". Implying otherwise took away from that, though it occurs to me now that we've only had Alan's perspective so far, which is surely not infallible.
Anyway, I look forward to next chapter, and hopefully more of this sort of stuff down the track.
| Jfmam chapter 20 . 4/15
This was a good chapter. It was funny and just gave us a bit of a break from the main plot. Not that I don't like the main plot, but this was a good diversion.
| Jfmam chapter 18 . 4/15
Nice chapter. Good to see Tucker.
Just thought I'd comment on the opening. I feel it did a good job of showing us more of Kirby, further rounding out her character. Always good to see.
| Jfmam chapter 17 . 4/15
Well this was certainly a big chapter!
The confrontation with Vlad; that is sure to have reverberations going forward. I fear Alan may have been too risky though, if Vlad realises he isn't Danny, I don't think he''l be quite as intimidated. What's more, I fear Alan overplayed his hand. Claiming that he had nothing to lose wasn't quite true, after all, even if he really was Danny. I fear that if Vlad felt it necessary, he wouldn't hesitate to threaten the Fentons. Punching Vlad as well. I hope Alan knocked him out, because otherwise Vlad might have caught on. Not only is Kirby not related to Danny, but a smart man like Vlad may begin to wonder how 'Danny' knew about that incident.
Oh well, just a bit of speculation. Can't wait to read on, and see this story unfold.
| Jfmam chapter 16 . 4/15
What a chapter!
The character moments at Sam's place were great, providing a nice reflection on Alan and Kirby's characters.
The later scenes were very effective too. The wound treatment scene was fascinating, though I rather suspect I'd be like Kirby in real life. And it seems like the plot is about to advance rather significantly, from the look of the last scene. All in all, I'm excited to continue reading.
Just some minor issues.
Is Sam really only in her 50s? I thought you said that she and Danny were in their early 30s when he died, and Alan's already 19, so surely she'd have to older? Not that it greatly affects the story, but I like to have a clear idea of the story timeline.
I still feel that the attitudes towards Jack and James Fenton are a bit harsh. James is your creation of course, so while I feel he could do with a positive trait or two, that's up to you. Jack though, being treated as the source of stupidity in the family, seems a bit much. Not entirely unwarranted, of course, just not entirely fair. Of course, if this is all reflective of Alan's attitudes towards his family, and not objective fact, then its entirely understandable.
Of course, this is really just my opinion. You may feel otherwise, and if so, sorry for rambling on.
| Jfmam chapter 13 . 4/14
Nice chapter; things seem to be moving along fairly well.
One criticism: I feel that James Fenton seems too unsympathetic a character. Does he have any redeeming qualities? Character flaws are no bad thing, but when there aren't any positive traits to balance things out, it just doesn't feel right to me. The character's yours to write as you like, of course, and there may be things still to play out, but I guess it just feels weird reading about a Fenton who as yet seems to lack any redeeming quality. Perhaps just I expected him to be a bit more like his Dad (and Jack as well, who for all his flaws, at least seemed well meaning), but I just wanted to get this off my chest.
Anyway, once again, enjoying the story, and if you ever get round to finishing the re-writes, that'd be amazing.
| Jfmam chapter 5 . 4/14
Interesting Chapter. I wonder if you're being a bit hard on the Fenton males, though I guess that's really a matter of opinion. I'd love to see how this chapter would go if re-written, but it does stand up on its own anyway (ignoring the changes from the rewrites).
| Jfmam chapter 2 . 4/13
Review for first two (rewritten) chapters.
So far, this is a very interesting story. I have to say, I was somewhat surprised by the rather pessimistic setting that we find in this story, but it is nonetheless all the more compelling (can't say things have really turned out all that well for the Fentons really). You have really set out well an intriguing world for Alan, and it will be great reading where things go from here.
That said, having read the next chapter, I realise that that is yet to be rewritten, and I just have to say, that while that chapter itself is already fairly good on its own, the incongruity between what you have set out in these two rewritten opening chapters, and what is set out in the third chapter, and presumably beyond, is rather great. I realise that at this point, the chances of you returning to this story (or even receiving this message) are slim, but I ask that if it is at all possible one day, if you could at least rewrite the early chapters that require it, that would be amazing.
For what its worth, I shall continue reading for now, and enjoy the story as is. It really is a shame though, given what promise these first chapters have.
| HoldenCaulfied chapter 19 . 2/17/2013
I think its a great fic and a sign that maybe you should think of going professional.
I'm wondering if the 5th kid who Alan and Kirby were talking about was Walt as a teenager?