|Reviews for love american style: a love story|
| Ranowa Hikura chapter 2 . 5/24/2012
It was 'mysteriously strange stranger' that did it for me. And, come to think of it, anybody who spells 'you' 'u' could never spell mysteriously correctly. I always love a good crack fic!
And then the reviews that believe it's a serious attempt and say it has potential... I think those make me cry.
| KillingTimeReading chapter 2 . 8/9/2010
LMFAO! This is hilarious!
| laurel hardy chapter 2 . 7/19/2010
This is the funniest thing I've every read! Genius!
| lawandorderfan20 chapter 2 . 2/18/2010
omg i cant believe anyone told u that u were bad cause u are really good u got me on pens an needles here dont let it go too long. k
| Spice3393 chapter 1 . 4/23/2006
like you say how would he go eight years without any type of release, none of the characters would be talking in net speak, and why would Elliot or Olivia get drunk knowing they have to work the next day(I'd like to think that they have more control than that, upset or not). I'll end by saying that you need to remember that these characters are responsible adults, not immature twelve year olds. You might want to take the time to watch the show every once in a while.
P.S. I got cut off by my computer while I was writing my review, that's what its two separate reviews instead of one.
P.S.S I've read all the reviews and I don't think that people are trying to be mean; I think that they are just trying to help you improve this story. As a first time writer you should be taking their advice and make the necessary changes instead of ignoring them and saying their mean.
| Babygirl chapter 2 . 4/23/2006
I reread your story(I didn't review the first time because I was in shock) to see if you had made any changes and while it seems like you tried to, everything is still basically the same. You need to use spell check and you need to be realistic.
Olivia wouldn't be writing in a diary(with a pink gel pen no less), she wouldn't be reading a Babysitters Club book, she wouldn't be that careless with her gun, and most importantly she wouldn't be talking like she's ten or something. Elliot wouldn't wail, he wouldn't be calling Kathy names(she IS the mother of his children after all)and ,most importantly he wouldn't would totally clueless about pregnancy tests( he has four kids after all and even if he didn't see the first test, he would have been there for the the last two because they were married by then). Some other things that you need to know are that a) Olivia lives in an apartment not a house, pregnancy tests only tell you wether or not you're pregnant, Cragen would be able to use the word sex in a sentence (he is the captain of the sex crimes unit), the bedroom thingy is actually called the crib (and if youhave watched the show at all you would know this; its mention in almost every episode), the big white board would only be out if they had a case (therefore Munch and Fin would would not be just standing around doing nothing), if Elliot had been celeibate
| Bookworm0485 chapter 1 . 4/14/2006
I can't think of anything else to say that hasn't already been said, other than this: If you aren't going to pay attention to your reviews and at least try to make changes, quit writing. No, seriously, we're trying to help you and yet you don't seem to care in the least. That said, you need to get a grip on reality, do some research and realize that no one over the age of like thirteen reads the Babysitters Club books. This site is a good site but it's morons like you who are going cause people to quit reading any of the stories that are posted (mostly because they'll be worried that they are going to get another story like this). You need to take a step back and make sure the writing is something you really want to do. This story sounds like it was thrown together by a couple of drunks. Go reread some of the stories you've marked as your favorites and figure out what you are doing wrong. But whatever you decide to do, don't keep posting chapters like these last ones. I'd report your story for site abuse but it looks like someone already did (however, I will rpeort you if you keep posting chapters like those). Alot of your reviewers have tried to be nice but you seem to be ignoring them, so I thought I'd see if a mean( the next step is a bitchy review and while I don't want to do that, I will if I have to) review would get your attention. As a first time writer you should be taking all the constructive criticism to heart and making changes(or starting over) as well as you can. Remember nobody is a perfect writer and nobody is above needing help.
ps. Just like a dog is man's best friend, spell check is a writer's best friend. Don't e afraid to use it.
| ScribbleDream chapter 2 . 4/14/2006
Perhaps you thought I was being sarcastic with my last review, but I really wasn't. I was sincere, and trying to be nice. If it sounded conceited, I'm sorry, that's not what I meant at all. I didn't mean to say that I was perfect, and I really don't think it came out that way.
But I can also see that you took none of it to heart, and don't wish to grow as a writer, so why even post anything at all? If all you want is for someone to tell you how amazing your writing is, you shouldn't be posting it on the internet where most people will tell you how to improve instead of how to stay the same.
Good luck in future writing. Hope some of this gets through to you and if it doesn't... well, good luck anyway. Perhaps someone else will.
| Itsneedtoknow chapter 2 . 4/13/2006
What the hell is this? It's certainly not a story. You need to do a couple of things:
A) Use spellcheck
B) Watch the show
C) Read the site guidelines
D) Make sure the story rating matches the story content (your story should be rated T for teen not K for kids)
I am aware that this is your first posting but this story is almost impossible to read r amke sense of. I see that you have gotten many reviews telling you about the mistakes you made with this story and I see that you have made any noticeable changes. Unfortunatly, I could not let this story remain as is so I have reported you for possible abuse of this site. The guidelines are there for a reason, please read them and learn from this. You should hear from the site within the next 24 hrs.
| Saint New chapter 2 . 4/13/2006
umm...not that I've ever taken a pregnancy test, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't tell you the sex of the baby. And they're not always accurate. It's still...good, but I think it needs more detail. And when writing fanfic, don't write how you talk and don't spell phonectically. Give more detail about how happy they were and what time of day or whatever...
| Saint New chapter 1 . 4/13/2006
m...it has...potential. It is a bit far-fetched, but hey, if it wasn't, it wouldn't be fanfic, right? I think you should start with a beta, put a bit more plot into it, and...you wouldn't happen to be a new viewer, would you? If you are, watch the first season, really helped me. Take things that actually happened in the show and go from there. Just my suggestion, but it doesn't have to be totally believable: I wrote a fic in which Olivia spooked Munch with a spider then leaped off her desk like a superhero. Now if that's not crazy, I don't know what is...but I digress. If ya don't wanna do it off an episode, do it off something about the characters i.e. Munch's conspiracy's, Casey's fashion (or lack thereof), or how much you hate Huang (maybe that's just me...) just some suggestions...but don't quit writing! If nothing else, finish this one story.
| anonymous chapter 2 . 4/13/2006
At first i was thinking, wow, here is a person who should never ever be allowed near a computer, but now i'm thinking, wow, here is a person who should never be allowed near a computer - for entirely different reasons. Seriously, when you take trolling too far, it's not funny anymore. It's just sad and a little bit shameful.
| boredsvunut chapter 2 . 4/12/2006
First off, in regards to the reply you sent me: 'different English" refers to netspeak ('U' instead of "you", etc) I'm assuming. That, unfortunately, is not English. In fact, you've just displayed everything that makes me ashamed to admit I'm a part of this generation.
And, just for your information, pregnancy tests do not tell the sex of a baby. All they tell is if you're pregnant or not pregnant.
Spellcheck, at least, please. There's no way you can be using it - because your whole page would be flagged with errors. "Wut" and "U" and "W/" are not words. Use real words and edit, because this is painful. This barely even makes sense.
| HidingInACorner chapter 1 . 4/12/2006
you really need to spell check
| onetreefan chapter 2 . 4/12/2006
ack! thats scary! great EOness. this is a great story! update soon. don't kill off either of them! that would be bad. this is great!