|Reviews for Children of the Pebble|
| lazaefair chapter 3 . 5/9/2013
It's been so long since I came back to reread this that I barely remember whether it really was excrement like you claim. I just remember thinking "this is good stuff right here" so if this second version is, as you say, of higher quality, then so much the better!
Trigun does kind of gloss over Meryl's inner life, doesn't it? She's reduced to chattering harridan by lesser writers, so I'm thrilled that you've been able to tell her story as she deserves. And kept her romance with Vash from dissolving into implausible fluff while still being tender and sweet. I'm very much looking forward to reading the revised chapters.
| Vi-Violence chapter 17 . 2/14/2011
This looks interesting, but it's very hard to follow, I suggest working on line breaks for scene changes and a different POV, I think it would help if it wasn't all from the characters POV.
| Jenn Jenn chapter 17 . 4/24/2009
Yea! Please keep writing. I too am married, but still find time to read these things! Keep it up!
| bubblygoo chapter 17 . 12/18/2007
Words can't describe how much I love this fic. The characters and descriptions are as real as sci-fi anime can get, and those italics, line breaks, and all that formatting goodness makes the fic a true pleasure on the eyes. The writing is a true pleasure for the heart, soul, and mind. I'm a real fan.
| The Quoi chapter 17 . 12/5/2007
Update or I shall devour your soul.
|The Quoi chapter 15 . 12/3/2007|
| Compulsive Writer chapter 17 . 11/21/2007
Bravo. So many intriguing twists and turns from beginning to end, and best of all, you give the insurance girls so much depth, both characters very deserving of the time and effort you've put into them. No happily ever after here (well, maybe by the end of the story, but not at the beginning, obviously). This is a real-life Trigun, as real a tale as I've come across on at least in the anime/manga section.
Like I said in a previous review, we've seen triumphs and tragedies, perhaps in small doses, but sure enough thus far, for each character. What might seem like triumphs to some have become personal tragedies for reasons most wouldn't understand. Meryl rising up in her father's company and Vash becoming a true member of society, but at the cost of their relationship; Milly inheriting the family farm but tied in knots inside because of a past few would understand. And now outside forces are coming together to create a whole new gaggle of trouble... it defies description.
Powerful, powerful stuff. I applaud your efforts.
I eagerly await your next update (but patiently as well). I would hate for quality to take a backseat to impatience, but from your history regarding this story, I have no reservations. You'll deliver, when the time comes.
| Compulsive Writer chapter 9 . 11/14/2007
I haven't reviewed in awhile, but read the past 5 chapters in one sitting, so here goes...
Something I've learned over the past 5 chapters is that you have an excellent grasp of the characters, especially Meryl, IMO. Your dialog is top-notch and I can hear the voice actors in my mind when each character speaks. Of course, having in my mind Meryl and Vash "fooling around" is something that is kinda weird. Now, don't get me wrong... my only completed Trigun fic has a key element of Meryl and Vash romance, but my love scene is quite different than the mood you set.
Yours is fun, amusing both in its realism and its simplicity. You use dialog to set the scene, whereas mine was more of a prose using the character's thoughts. Yours was strong despite the minimal description. They were laugh out loud scenes, but also placed between heartrending moments with Milly. You have a talent to make a reader's heart sing for joy one moment and then tear it out and stomp on it the next. Exhilerating experience, really.
Thanks for your response, btw. I'll keep reading and review as I go.
I see tragedy and triumph in our future. I doubt you disappoint.
| Compulsive Writer chapter 4 . 11/10/2007
Let me start off by saying that, as much as you say your struggled with the editting of this chapter - and having read it, I admit it is definitely a tricky chapter from the reader's end as well - it is also the best chapter thus far.
Your previous reviewers for this chapter say that the narrative got confusing, and I think the point where they started to get confused was the moment you started "killing" Meryl and Milly over and over again (The Many Faces of Death: Insurance Girl Style). I was very intrigued with the set-up here.
I think you hit a home run here. It's as if Meryl's life - Or is it lives? ;) - is flashing before her eyes... her life without Vash the Stampede, that is, as if he had never existed. Each incident where you kill her and her junior partner off, at least in the flashback sequences (and those seem to play as Meryl's life flashing before her eyes, btw), are as it would be without Vash's... let me say "interference." Then we leap forward into a future where Meryl lives a meaningless existence, again, without Vash. Another troubling end.
I think it's rather obvious that when you returned to past tense (Meryl waking up in the hospital with her parents at her side) that you are returning to the "present." After her incident with the five kids, she's struck unconscious (you allude to a figure from a rooftop, chucking rocks at her); someone found her afterwards and got her to the hospital, which is where we're at now... a stepping stone to a journey of the heart, and hopefully, Meryl's recovery from the torment she's suffered.
Let me tell you that, while a tricky chapter, it DOES work, and it works well. As I said, a home run. All the trouble you went to to get it perfect (even if it isn't perfect in your eyes) paid off with flying colors. If I wasn't hooked before (which I most certainly was) I am now.
Let the ride begin. Bravo.
| Compulsive Writer chapter 3 . 11/9/2007
One of the best lines I've read in a long time:
"Until she’d tried to collect her back pay, and it was as if she’d gone blind and Bernardelli had rearranged the furniture in her absence. Fill out these forms in triplicate, please. I’m sorry, we have no record of such a request. You’ll have to consult Personnel for that information. Meryl Stryfe, Meryl Stryfe…I’m sorry, we have no record of a Meryl Stryfe. Are you sure you’re she? Fill out these forms in quadruplicate, please. Please calm down, miss. I beg your pardon, there’s no need to question my ancestry. Hey, let go of my tie—"
I laughed my butt off. Very good story thus far.
| lazaefair chapter 17 . 8/23/2007
Beautiful. I'm not sure how I feel about Milly's new romance, but you give her so much depth. We got bits of it on the show but not nearly enough.
| Kyokospaz chapter 1 . 8/7/2007
Whoa, I love this! You're such a great writer, and so detailed. Mwhaha, Vash is such a dolt, gotta love him.
| darkbangle chapter 17 . 8/4/2007
Poor Milly (*sob*). It's fine that you're busy. Take as much time as you need (believe me that most - if not all - of us understand). Though if you're going to take this long between updates, you may want to put little summeries at the begining of each chapter. I'll be waiting for the next chapter!
| Aine of Knockaine chapter 17 . 8/2/2007
Why of course I'm still reading - how could I not! I NEED to know what the flying cammode was all about! Hahahaha! Not to mention that this IS one of my favorite stories (Besides, we married/don't have any free time people have to stick together)
Ah... It was nice seeing (reading) about how life's treating Milly. And I would say pretty darn good. Though, I'm sure it's driving her absoluting crazy being fussed over by the staff (Mrs Turnipseed - hahaha - remember the old hobbit - can't remember his name - with the sour look from LOTR? I'm picturing her with that same disapproving look O.o) And it's nice to see that she's thinking about moving on. She really needs to. But then you just had to add a little twist by having Mr. Fletcher's first name be Nick! Oh and I can't forget that Nicholas came for a 'visit,' too! You are such a stinker! Oh I love it! I hope it doesn't discourage her (I have a feeling it might, though.)
And for the next installment, we have Elizabeth obviously 'opening' up something that she shouldn't be. Hopefully it's metaphorically, because man I hope it isn't the box where they're keeping Knives! Oh... scary thought!
Can't wait for the next installment!
| Sugar Pill chapter 17 . 8/1/2007
Yay, update! Excellent chapter. :) This one got progressively better, the ending being my favorite. Millie seems so ready to live simply in the present, but it seems her past hasn't been buried all the way. I loved the italics and the lack of punctuation during the last part, it made that section very surreal. Mr. Fletcher and Millie on the porch swing was very cute, too. :)