|Reviews for Brothers in Arms|
| arekuruu-inabikari-no-She chapter 35 . 7/24/2005
Oh my god, AWESOME chapter, kick a** fight scenes! Also, finally the reason on why Kevin keeps coming back from the dead. It's very nice that you've found a way to address those potential problems for the sequel. Never did like that slime Yuuna
I forgot to add this on my last review, whether you intended for a Metal Gear reference or not, I couldn't help associate but Kevin with The Boss and Big Boss when his crew called him Boss.
Well I couldn't find a picture of the Early Wing Gundam but I did find the re-designed version of it, which in my opinion looks better than the custom but in terms of firepower the custom is way better unless you change some of its armaments on it. But either works for me.
Already itching to read the sequel! Yes at last I will finally see someone put Shinn in his place!
| i love athrun chapter 35 . 7/24/2005
IT IS GOOD BUT DO A NEW CHAPTER!
| ForeverZero chapter 35 . 7/24/2005
Wing Zero Custom would be better suited for Gundam Seed Destiny, I believe atleast. Course I'm biased since I happen to think Custom is cooler then Wing Gundam.
Anyways this story has to be the most interesting piece of work I've ever had the privelege to read. By the way I loved the battle at GENESIS. Perfect way to bring the battle to a conclusion.
| bloodyknight85 chapter 35 . 7/24/2005
'He's alive! He's alive! How the hell did he manage to stay alive after this? What kind of sorcery is this? That's incredible... I really thought that he will be die... It seems that he came alive muc sooner than expected... Good one, dude...'
You have finally finished your fic... Looking forward to the next story... Keep up the good work and update sooN!
| bloodyknight85 chapter 34 . 7/23/2005
'The final battle begun... All forces attack! I like that very much... GENESIS has been fired... Hmm, i wonder how they are going about destroying that WMD... is Kevin going to die in the later chapters? Somehow i got a stupid feeling that he would... Anyways, i shall read on...'
Keep up the good work, dude... Update sooN!
| attempt chapter 34 . 7/23/2005
another wonderful chapter!I swear im starting to think that this should be the real gundam , anyway, i know i must have missed somthing ori dont know , but have cagalli and kevin kissed?(blushes for not knowing).And i love that pairing by the way. I really am impressed by the way you write , the social scenes that you have are great, you can totally understand the emotions, and its so great to be able to read an action sequence without geteing bored and wondering whne they'll start talking again.
| Ominae chapter 34 . 7/23/2005
I demand more Kevin/Murrue later! Or else...
| Deathzealot chapter 34 . 7/23/2005
Well first of all there is a slight difference between able to hold MS and supporting MS... That was told to me by the people at Gundamwatch when I asked the question of how many MS can the Archangel hold. Since GW has been shut down *shakes head sadly* I guess I can't refer you to the site however I can tell you to go to GOUF on GundamOfficial which replaced GW.
Also the Archangel was only meant to hold the Five G-Weapon Prototypes, maybe I say maybe La Flagga's Zero and his two wingman. Which bring us to Eight MS/MA.
Another issue is that you compared the Izumo Class with the Archangel. Well yeah the Archangel was based on the Izumo but that was when it was a Transport... a very well armed Transport but a transport nothenless. If you listen to Kisaka during his tour of the ship with Murrue and Mwu he mentions it. The Izumo was never meant to hold MS, it had been modifyed too but never built with MS in mind which is the reason it's Catapult is slower then the Archangel. It was thanks to the ships Modular Design that it could been equipped with a Catapult and equipped to carry MS.
Okay last the Astrays onboard the Kusanagi there was Ten loaded onto the ship at orb later on it receives two more MS in the Form of a Custom Painted Gray M1 and a M1A Astray. Which is now 12, since it holds the Strike Rouge and there is an unwritten rule in gundam fandom that a ship never supports an odd number of MS brings the grand total to Fourteen so you are right there.
Now that is off my chest I like to say screw it all for this is an AU so you can put as many MS on the Dominon as you want. Also is seems I am the only one who is argueing with you, so I will let it slide. Thankfully you do not have any Hardcore "Strict" Gundam Fans reading this or at least reveiwing it. For they would be alot worse then I am. Alright anyways keep this going Shark I can not wait to see what happens now. *wink* And I will leave this alone, heck I even plan on throwing a few more MS into the Archangel for the fun of it. Anyways enough of this... have fun...
almost forget here are two Websites with how much the Archangel can hold...
(Yes I now the Hyperlinks don't work)
This is one is better
Also I don't trust those the sites as far as I can throw them.
Okay done I swear
| Daniel Lynx chapter 34 . 7/23/2005
you do bring up a good point there, I would think some would agree that taking the Dominion would be more of a twist.
Anyway good chapter, I like the moment Tyler had with Natarle, made show that he wants to be more than a clone, and I figure why everyone is calling him boss is the referance to being called Big Boss, the one Solid and Liquid came from, of course the former president was known as Solidus Snake if you seen or play Sons of Liberty you'd get what I'm talking about.
Back on the original subject Earth Forces or should I say Blue Cosmos destroyed Boaz, and then the firing of Genesis were goign to see the end of things here, and the end of bastards Zala and Azrael, and even to elimination of the sickest fuck of all Rau Le Cruset, Everything is about to come to end as the battle at Jachin Due is about to come to an all time high, and end
| i love athrun chapter 34 . 7/23/2005
IT IS GOOD BUT DO A NEW CHAPTER!
| Shinji Ikari chapter 34 . 7/22/2005
Since we're nearing the end (hopefully the next Chapter is not the last, and I am *very* amused you actually know the name "Goetterdaemmerung" - one of my German teachers in high school taught me if I can't put the horizontal colon over the "o" to put an "e" after it), time for a new order change. Glossary, Notes, *then* story.
Hyper-Jammers explanation at last! Yippee! What it actually turned out to be surprised me... I didn't expect a variation on the Neutron-Jammer Canceler. And as for the augmentation thing... good, that clarifies that issue about Kevin getting the "heaviest" package (actually, I think that was clarified in an earlier Chapter after I mentioned it needed to be anyway, maybe... can't recall.)
So, what's next? CARDINAL and the active cloak? (Nice to see this Chapter *finally* confirms CARDINAL was a double-agent working for Blue Cosmos... you never explicitly mentioned what was up with him and I'm still not sure why he bothered to help Kevin at all in the first place before his info started going bad; to gain his trust and set him up? Either way, this needs some explanation). The way Invictus' armor works to prevent him being picked up by other Serpent Heads? Further elaboration on the supposed "Guardian"? Not much to guess from, but then, there's not many Chapters left anyway. (Note that it might be a good idea to fully clarify CARDINAL in the story only/as well as in the Glossary.)
As for your notes... the acronym wasn't a suggestion for usage, just mentioning that I thought it up since you'd asked for earlier Oracle theories. Mendel and using "Snake"... points taken. Good to hear about the Dominion capture scenes, and point taken about Meryl's detout (you need to briefly bring this up in Chapter 33 as well to avoid a plot hole too. Same goes for why so many believed Kevin's tale of ABADON).
Strike Rouge... "Harumph," is all I'll say. And as for cracking open the planet... I don't think Kevin would take liberties there simply because cracking the planet open implies GENESIS can destroy the Earth in one shot. Roasting the a huge portion of the surface (given the diagram in Phase 48 and a remark in Phase 50) with each shot takes too. If their situation is already desperate, Kevin's not going to make the situation sound even *more* desperate... that it'd take GENESIS one shot instead of two to render Earth trashed. (And given the diagram in Phase 48, it doesn't cover fully half the planet... so its likely there'd still be a few small safe pockets left of sufficient distance from one another if Zala wanted the entire surface entirely sterilized he'd have to fire a few more shots.)
Flay... good to know. Yes, that should've been "Captain." Another humorous typo. And Stormhawk versus Providence... yay! Although I must say I'm rather confused why Kevin, in this Chapter, seems the most determined to go after Zala still instead of shifting that determination to Rau Le Creuset. In the beginning when he's thinking of at least one person he'd need to get rid of in order to put ABADON behind of as Patrick... huh? Shouldn't Patrick be the "at least" and Rau the named one, or both mentioned at least equal, since Rau was *far* more responsible for everything pertaining to Kevin's misery?
Point taken on Tolle... other ways you could add to his characterization? What are his feelings the first time during the Orb fight he actually takes a life? What's his impression on Dearka (obviously Mirialla/Dearka is now impossible, but I'm sure Milly would've introduced the two since Milly's basically Dearka's closest friend on the ship), Kuzzey having left? There's also room for some interaction with Sai... perhaps a talk with him over the current situation with Flay, since you need to integrate Sai's feelings on Flay being on the Dominion somehow.
I don't see why anyone would think Kevin's "Fencing Prince" persona is out of character, since he is complex and an Orb noble, plus you've already proven his house is one of the more eccentric ones (I wonder what Kevin would think of one of the two Sahakus from ASTRAY, who has a rather... well, you'll have to see for yourself, but her somewhat like the Fencing Prince, only rather... well, hard to describe).
All the rest: Points taken, yet I'd think why Kevin still has an issue with Patrick even though Athrun's already told him his father thought the project was voluntary important enough to get put in the story. However, I must disagree Patrick could've known what Oracle was really doing. No matter how much attention he'd paid it would've been extremely difficult; Rau managed to get ahold of the data on the Neutron-Jammer Canceller even under Zala's paranoid reactionary police state government... he got the info post-Phase 35 although I forget exactly which Phase, but there's a short scene with him meeting someone at a bar. If Rau can pull that off, earlier on leak information about Project Spit Break to the Earth forces, itself so top-secret most of the Council didn't know about it, without getting caught... let's just say I find it very hard to believe Patrick would've known ABADON wasn't voluntary unless Rau explicitly wanted him to know. Although I understand the additional point that Kevin still blames Zala for being responsible... rather black and white, but I suppose its to be expected when hatred is taken into account. I suspect you'll leave Zala getting shot to the officer anyway, though, so at least I shouldn't have to worry about Kevin taking him down.
Oh, and whoopsie on not noticing the GENESIS acronym change... *groan.* One of my old friends who is really good at picking up details might have a lot to say about this. And yes, "Stimulate Inducing" doesn't make much sense... the Japanese-to-English translators weren't doing their job there. Same would arguably go for the "Maneuver" at the end of a regular GUNDAM.
Now, then, the Chapter. To begin, the reflections on the contrasts between Kevin and the others trying to end the war prior to the final battles commencing was a nice touch, as was the Lacus/Kevin debate... but to have a brief Lacus reflection scene afterwards really rounded things off nicely. To get a chance to get into her mind on her feelings about what happened to Kevin this in-depth (especially coming before all her difficult moments in the finale) was a really good idea. And the way you did it... plus her wondering how people can do things to each other... good job delving into her outlook. (And definitely better than that out-of-character situation before, heh.) Nice to see some brief Kira/Lacus interaction, too, even if it was short.
But the raid on Carpentaria actually being successful... I've read the official Site timeline and no one said anything about it working. The back of the DVD 10 box said the Coordinators had been booted off Earth; I ignore that because back of box/back of book summaries can ofttimes make those kinds of mistakes. So did you just add this in yourself, or did you get this information somewhere? (Elsewhere in the Notes to another person you mentioned something about an even more detailed Site... what would the name of that be?) Personally, I find myself hard pressed to believe that the Earth forces could boot the Coordinators off the planet that easily... the Strike Daggers are good but not *that* good. They may've won at Victoria, but if I remember correctly at Panama they seemed pretty evenly matched. Then again, ZAFT did suffer some resounding losses at Alaska. Ah, I'm not going to try to bother to make sense of this here.
Then we get to the Dearka/Max stuff... figures Dearka would become great friends with that Artificial Intelligence, considering he does have some similar traits to Tolle. However, if you're trying to suggest in their banter Flay may be reciprocating any interest in Yzak, let me say that even under normal circumstances I don't see that pairing working. Especially not when Flay hasn't spoken to Kira yet; until she finds out for sure if Kira's willing to give a genuine relationship a try, I extremely highly doubt she'd even *consider* anyone else. (Phase 47 and Phase 50 make it pretty clear not just that she really does love Kira now but just how strongly; one of the more subtle examples besides the obvious would be when she notices Kira fighting the Providence early in Phase 50 before Kira notices her, and she exclaims his name in that same frantically, panicing worried voice she's only done for two people before... herself and her father. If she's *that* worried about him seeing him in a fight, it says as much as the other scenes.)
And while I have no doubt Flay would maturely move on after their talk, I highly doubt someone who still has an, "I won't lose!" complex (his words to Clotho before blowing the Raider to smithereens) and is rather arrogant would be a nice candidate. Flay is many things, but *not* arrogant, and since arrogance often narrowmindedness and Yzak's remark to Clotho indicates he hasn't lost his arrogance, while I can see her becoming friends with Yzak I find anything else impossible unless Yzak matures a good deal more than in the anime. To say nothing of the fact its hard for me to believe she'd even easily be *friends* with someone who still has an issue with her beloved Kira over getting a freaking appearance imperfection, of all things, even if he's outwardly let it go (check how quick she was to defend Sai in Phase 6 and even Kira in Phase 4 from a seeming unfairness when she barely knew him). Yes, they have in common that they really didn't like the other side, but don't be mistaken into thinking both are as hot-tempered. Remember, Flay admits that a lot of her harsh actions were because she was scared... she was frightened of all these Coordinators she'd heard are really big bad scary. The only times she's expressive outside of saying harsh things about Coordinators, grieving, emotionally broken, et cetera et cetera, in Phase 4 and Phase 6, are when she's standing up for someone. I don't call that temper, I call that a strong degree of loyalty. Don't mistake everything else for having a temper; I think its the exact opposite. Flay used to be a rather weak girl prone to fear bordering on hysteria. Fear leads to anger and all that... a lot of fear leads to a lot of anger, and once she loses her father everything's up in the air. Yes, she's now grown out of that, but Yzak *hasn't* grown out of temper issues (even if Flay used to be similar to him in those regards.) But even without getting into the temper issue, those two people who can share having been strongly anti-the other side and even if they did share hot tempers do not have enough else in common. Flay's not narrowminded at all now; Yzak still is in multiple ways and the last thing someone who's matured and really ashamed of what they had been wants to deal with is someone who is still narrowminded in numerous ways. The fact they've both matured from extremist perspectives gives them enough to be friends, yes, but beyond that? I'd think any expressed interest on Yzak's part beyond friendship even *after* she has her talk with Kira would make her *very* uncomfortable. Second to last, considering Flay has a notable tendency to rely on other male characters, I think it demeans her growing up and becoming stronger as a person if she gets paired off with someone else... since Kira/Flay just wouldn't work, her own growth would be represented better by her simply not paired up and independent. Lastly, while I can buy Yzak's interest (he's been intrigued about Rau's prisoner for a while, and there's no indication Flay has any attitudes *he* wouldn't care for), Flay's barely ever seen him save for the shuttle ride. I'm hoping the Dearka/Max talk is meant to be read as "Yzak's going out of the way to spend a lot of time with Flay" and not that she reciprocates.
Then we get the Invictus and Natarle interaction... good job with off-duty Natarle, fits her pretty well. And so I get a lot of the explanations I've been waiting for regarding the other Serpent Heads at once... Invictus' motives for helping the group I assume are the same reason he tracked down the other Serpent Heads (was a surprise to find one really did have aging problems). And I *really* didn't expect you to turn the reasons Rau couldn't use the gene therapy used on the Serpent Heads into yet another reason for the guy to be bitter. Getting a multiplicity of explanations/theories made the "great cloning explanation" particularly enjoyable. And I suppose this theory also answers my question as to Rau's likely impression of the other Serpent Heads... major envy. If you get into it more I imagine I'll find out for sure... there's still Carter's perspective on past, future, and identity to touch upon. And of course there's now yet another question... why were Carter and Invictus special cases as far as the aging went? What was their original intended purpose in the whole ABADON/Serpent's Head in comparison to everyone else's? Hopefully this question about Invictus and Carter will be one of the ones answered before the end of the story.
Boaz went boom... phooey. So Kevin hasn't managed to prevent any of the big tragedies by himself... his presence didn't save Orb and didn't save Boaz. However, considering the Four Ships Alliance has been slowly on their way to the PLANTs for months now and they knew the Earth Alliance had nukes, why didn't they make full speed for Boaz as soon as the Sixth Fleet and Seventh Fleet departed anyway, I'm now ready to call the first plot contrivance in a while, so please explain this and provide a reason they didn't head for Boaz when the fleets launched.
The monologue... now *that* was a nice idea. Pretty darned good for a so-called "beginner" writer as well, and the humor at the end was appropriately clever.
As for the beginning of the Second Battle of Jachin Due in this Chapter... nicely done. The emotion on Kevin's part over the losses of his fellow Dagger pilots was done well, although I recommend you add in a couple extra scenes at the start of this Chapter and/or somewhere in the last one involving these pilots... that you do the same thing with them the series did with the three Orb girls. Minor characters, but if you give them a bit more screen time their losses will be more poignant (and I highly recommend against this being one of the side-story one-shots; the reader needs to grow to know them a little in this Chapter or the last one, in this actual story, not in a side-story they may only read after reading the main one). The touch of having someone blow up one of the missiles close enough to get vaporized themselves was a new one and fitting for this battle.
Other points to note so far would be... great to see Rachel brought up; memories of her have been a while. I have to crack up that Azrael actually acknowledges the Dominion as a threat but not any of the other ships... I assume this is it was his command vessel so of course he'd respect it as contrasted to not caring one whit about the potential danger of the other ships? Kira saving Kevin from GENESIS is nice... great to see someone having to bail Kevin out. Lastly, though, why wasn't anyone trying to reach Jachin in this early phase of the battle since they know about GENESIS ahead of time? I believe that's all to say for now, besides wondering what role Artemis is going to play, due to some hints you've been dropping.
| arekuruu-inabikari-no-She chapter 34 . 7/22/2005
Yup the final battle seems to be coming at last, and yeah I agree with you that Natarle isn't such a bad character. As for why I asked if Kevin and Cagalli would keep their love life secret is cause of events in Gundam Seed Destiny and you may have to do some creative thinking to alter those events, you'll see. I was also quite surprised that you're pairing Flay with up Yzak, but I think I know what Kevin's going to do in the final battle. Great chapter.
| Relik chapter 33 . 7/22/2005
Oh lovely, another chapter! Heh. I really enjoy the humorous aspect of this chap. And Yzak's joining them makes me happy. Yzak's attitude is so amusing, I really like his character. keeps things fresh. Thanks for updating so quickly.
| arekuruu-inabikari-no-She chapter 33 . 7/21/2005
great chapter, and yes Yzak joining was quite a bit of a surprise but I'm glad that you decided not to kill of Natarle, to me she's one of the more interesting characters of the GS universe. Well if it helps check out for your song tracks they have the english translations for the songs in there. As for who gets paired with Athrun, I have a few ideas of my own after reading this chapter. Also will Kevin and Cagalli's new found love be well-known in the sequel for this or will they keep it secret?
| i love athrun chapter 33 . 7/21/2005
IT IS GOOD BUT DO A NEW CHAPTER!