|Reviews for Soaring over Nile|
| Guest chapter 31 . 3/13
Write a sequel
| KL93 chapter 31 . 1/3/2012
After reading this, I'm not really sure whether to laugh or cry. It was well written, but I guess I'm just a sap at heart that hates to see tragic endings.
| KL93 chapter 27 . 1/3/2012
Poor Seth. He's still their friend right. With there was a girl for him too...
| fhclause chapter 31 . 11/21/2008
Yup, this last epilogue is more understandable from the previous. And better too. Now I suddenly feel the urge to ask you to write a sequel for this would be interesting.
| Queen Lyria chapter 1 . 10/16/2008
WARNING - RANT UPCOMING
Crap, I was wrong again! The spectral woman who greeted Alyssus into the world was NOT Amuenet! That was AKILA! Akila was the woman who spoke to Amuenet as she was being reborn as Alyssus. Akila was assuring Amuenet that they would meet again, even though they were to be separated for a while, since Amuenet never entered the afterlife, where Akila was. And because Amuenet lost her memories of her past life when she became a baby, she didn't recognize Akila when Akila was comforting baby Alyssus in the trauma of her birth. And Akila whispered Alyssus' name to Aiko, her (Akila's) reincarnation.
Amuenet and Akila were finally reunited (three thousand years later) when Akila was reborn as Aiko, and the Noble as Aiko's husband. Aiko and her husband had a baby (Amuenet reincarnated). Their past lives were thrown into a wreck (with the deaths of the Noble and Akila), and in the modern day, they will get the happiness they were denied in Egypt. Alyssus will also get the happy ending that Amuenet lost, since she (Alyssus) will marry Yugi (Atem's reincarnation).
But before even that happened, Amuenet dropped by Atem to assure him that they would meet again (because the binds between them are everlasting, just like Akila's bond with Amuenet), and that thought consoled him as he was sealed in the Millennium Puzzle.
While Alyssus and Yugi will meet in life, Amuenet and Atem will meet again when the spirits of Amuenet and Atem are finally able to pass into the afterlife. They will meet everyone else there, and all would've regained their memories of Amuenet when they died (as Atem did). It's going to be a happy, gigantic family reunion!
And they're going to watch over Alyssus and Yugi as they grow old together and have children! It's such a happy, bittersweet ending, and so fitting!
Sorry, I just had to clear up some of my own confusion. That's my final theory (I hope).
| Queen Lyria chapter 31 . 10/14/2008
Yay! Atem REJECTED Alysa! He saw her as the pretty, shallow little brat that she was! Cry, Alysa. Cry the way Amuenet did so many times, all alone...(I hate Alysa too much to pass up an opportunity to mock/taunt/bash her.)
Alyssus WAS Amuenet's reincarnation! I was wrong! And Alyssus's father met cute little Yugi! Oh, I can already FEEL the love...but they won't meet until many years after the canon...(Can I write a one-shot sequel to this? Please?)
And Amuenet got to have the child she never did; SHE was the one who gave Alyssus her name! And is Aiko Akila's reincarnation? Is her husband the Noble's reincarnation? I'm just going to assume that that's the case.
It doesn't matter if you didn't watch the Egypt Arc. The events are memories that Pharaoh Seth recorded in stone. They only document the basics of Atem's life and death. They deviate from the actuality of what really happened, so we don't know much about Atem's life, and what little we do know is quite vague. You can thus make up your own backstory without contradicting the canon, as you've done here!
We don't know much about Yugi's early childhood, so we can speculate that he encountered Amuenet's family as she was born.
And I'm SO happy that you cleared Atem's name! In the canon, Mana said that Atem didn't seem like himself when he spoke to her. 30 years inside a magic piece of gold really did change him. I think that, in his life, he was a lot like Yugi: loving and caring, yet impulsive, and sometimes plainly stupid. Yugi and Atem have the same soul, after all; Atem is just 30 years older. Yippee! I just love him...er, them...I can't help it.
Normally, I distate fanfiction that pairs canon males with original females, but this is an except, because I'm beginning to see Atem and Amuenet as a rightful canon pairing! If Kazuki Takahashi ever decides to add to the canon, he should use draw this pairing (I'd love to see manga Amuenet and Alysa!)
Thank you so much for thanking me, though I know I don't deserve it! This ending was so much happier than the other one! Thank you so much for fulfilling my wishes! Now I can rest in peace!
| Queen Lyria chapter 1 . 10/9/2008
Sorry, for the double-review, but I feel that I have some necessary constructive criticism to offer (though it did come over a year too late).
I have only one problem with the character of Amuenet. At the beginning of the story, she is only fifteen, and yet she's already a talented swordswoman. When asked how she learned the skill, Amuenet says that she taught herself how to use a sword AND how to shoot an arrow.
Swordsmanship is a very complex art. It takes many years to master (you probably know this already), and if a teenager is an expert at swordplay, then he or she was definitely trained vigorously from a very young age, by a very strict teacher. (Seth, Jarha, and Atem would've been subjected to this sort of discipline.) There is NO way that ANY child, boy or girl, can teach him or herself swordplay, and especially not beginning when he or she is ten. The same goes for archery. If Amuenet actually taught these skills to herself, then that there is a signal that she is dangerously close to becoming a Mary Sue.
Amuenet already possesses an incredible supernatural power. Her ka, a phoenix, is so powerful that the Thief King Bakura kidnaps Amuenet in order to collect it for himself. She also has the skill of agility and speed. Amuenet doesn't need to know swordplay or archery. (She may have an interest or a desire to learn these skills, much like a desire to read and study academic subjects, but she does not actually have to master or even learn any of these skills in the course of the story.)
However, I'm very glad that you made Amuenet face humiliating defeat at the hands of Bakura, and even admit to herself that Seth could've killed Bakura if she hadn't interfered. I also like how Akunadin criticized Amuenet's skills as meagre. I'm going to assume that Amuenet is only adept at swordplay (non-violent practice), though even that is difficult for me to believe.
I also enjoyed the way in which you used the phoenix as a plot device, having it sicken as she sinks into hatred, jealousy, and despair. Powerful kas (like Amuenet's phoenix and Kisara's blue-eyes white dragon) are born from their hosts' purity and innocence, and impurity and corruption will lead to the weakening of the ka.
You took Amuenet's flaws and portrayed them as actual flaws, not as virtues merely perceived as flaws by the antagonists (like Alysa). Amuenet has a few traits characteristic of Mary Sues, but she has been developed well enough not to be Mary Sue. A Mary Sue is defined by these traits, but Amuenet is not defined by her skills with a sword, or her phoenix, or her rebellious attitude, or her plainness, or her desire for freedom, or her illiteracy, or her relationship to Atem.
She is her own person, and she reacts to events around her and changes as does. Or rather, she doesn't really change, because, like a real person, the things that happen to her only serve to bring out a side of her that isn't usually dominant. Like a real person, she is self-contradictory because she is so conflicted, uncertain, and insecure.
If I were you, I would definitely make this into an original novel. With the right editing (removing YGO characters, rewriting any sections written from a first-person perspective in a third-person perspective, purging Amuenet of any Mary Sue traits and possibly giving more to Alysa - how about having Alysa sing a beautiful song at Atem's wedding? Or having Alysa kiss the married and therefore disgusted Atem when Amuenet isn't watching?), it can become an excellent novel.
| Queen Lyria chapter 31 . 9/25/2008
This is an amazing story, especially for a fanfic. I would suggest editing this story to remove any "Yu-Gi-Oh" characters and replacing them with original characters. Then you can publish this as an original novel of your own making!
I cannot believe how emotionally I responded to this story! I sympathized with Amuenet, HATED Alysa, was REALLY angry with Atem (how could he be so foolish? Forsaking your country and your people, leaving your wife when she is injured because of some "pretty" girl distracting you? But then again, he did behave very stupidly in the actual series - gambling your soul much?), and wept with the characters that were still alive at the end.
Speaking of which, I absolutely loved the scene where Amuenet passed over her friends at the palace. Somehow, in some mysterious way, she subliminally let them know that she had passed, and they responded. Isis was shivering, Seth became worried, Mana was crying, Mahaado was trying not to cry, and Atem was also crying. Why didn't Amuenet make herself apparent to them? My guess is that she didn't want to traumatize Atem or Seth or anyone else and cause them more hurt than what she knew they would feel once they found her corpse. She let Atem know that she had returned to the palace when he called to her, so that he would know that she had forgiven him for his neglect of her and be able to move on in peace when he discovered her death. How bitter and sour, and yet sweet at the same time!
(I DO hope that Alysa doesn't return to "console" Atem and exploit his grief to win his love. She already tried once to steal his love for Amuenet. If she tries anything clever, I'll just have to write a fanfic of this story and break her pretty little neck, as another reviewer said.)
You made excellent use of Mana, a character all too often neglected in fanfiction. I definitely felt for her when she was walking with Alysa to Atem's room. Atem - what an idiot! Did he believe Alysa when she said that "nothing" had happened? Because of her annoyingly melodious giggle? Atem heard her insulting Mana and Amuenet! The very fact that his girlfriend would so flagrantly disrespect his other friends should have been a warning to him! He should have dumped the little witch on the spot! But no; she's a freakin' enchantress, and she had him charmed.
Amuenet is one of the best heroines I have ever read in original fiction or fanfiction. (Don't worry - she is definitely not a Mary Sue!) She is realistically virtuous and kind, yet deeply flawed at the same time. Her most selfish act in her life was suicide - she basically told her friends that they weren't worth having. That was why she was brought back from the door to heaven - to reconcile with them, and to do another thing. Her marriage to Atem had ended prematurely, and she could not rest in peace knowing that her death had been in vain.
Spirit Seer wrote that she thought that Aiko was Atem's new wife, and Alyssus his first child. I don't think that's the case, since there were modern, twentieth-century items present in that scene, and we all know that Atem died in ancient Egypt. Others thought that Alyssus was Amuenet's reincarnation. Rather, I think (and I'm speculating here) that Aiko, not Alyssus, is Amuenet's reincarnation, and logically, Alyssus would be her first child, and Aiko's husband Yugi (Atem's reincarnation), several years after the end of the canon series. Since Amuenet was unable to continue her relationship to her husband (because she was dead and disembodied), she was going to make sure that Aiko and Yuugi had a happy ending. And like Spirit Seer said, Amuenet is claiming the child she never had. But why is she claiming this particular baby girl and not a different one? Because this baby girl is her own little girl.
This story inspired an original work of historical fiction by me, on called "Egyptian Sunset." Please do read it and leave me a review! Thank you!
~ Queen Lyria
| DarkAngelLida chapter 31 . 5/28/2008
wonderful story though the epilogue was kind of confusing.
| Star03 chapter 31 . 3/9/2008
Great! It's a fantastic fic!
I don't really get it with the last chapter about 'Alyssus' and 'Aiko'. Who are they?
If you mind,
will you explain it to me?
Well, if you want any way.
| Spirit Seer chapter 31 . 4/1/2007
*Squee!* Oh, you make me so happy! Thank you so much for mentioning me- you made me feel so special! Oh! *Squee!* _
Well, this chapter wasn't very long, but I'll see what I can do to give you your special analysis. _
First off, however, I am very sorry that I am so late in reviewing for you! ;; Sorry! I just had an influx of new chapters at the time the alert arrived, and had decided that it was fairer if I just took them all in the order that they came in; so, unfortunately, it took a while to get here. Sorry again, but I finally made it! :D
Well, I'm going to take it that the first part's about Amuenet. She's trying to enter the afterlife, but she can't, because she had some unfinished business. Hm... What could that have been? That Atem needed to finally realize what a precious thing he had before he let it slip right through his fingers? Hm, maybe. It's nice to know that he finally realized his true love for Amuenet, even if it was too late. Or then again, maybe it wasn't, since it said the "she has called,he is found"... thing. ; I forgot verbatim, sorry. ; Anyway, I guess he finally made peace with her when she called out to him at the end, judging by it seemed to be a more-or-less peaceful ending, with the stars in the night sky. I guess maybe since he mourned for her, she was finally able to rest in peace, knowing that he had cared for her.
So, what was the last part with Aiko and the baby about? I saw some of the other reviews, and I saw some question marks appear there as well. Is that supposed to represent that the Pharoah married again, this time to a woman named Aiko? One review suggested that the baby (Alyssus) was Amuenet reincarnated. My beginning thoughts were along the line of the child she didn't get to have. Like maybe she had died carrying a child (sorry if my mind's weird... ;), and then when it was "born" she carried it to a room and then it was found by some people later and then adopted later on, but as I read the last part and the woman that said it was hers, then I started following more along the lines of the first one mentioned, the baby she didn't get to have. Hm... I wonder if perhaps it's supposed to represent Atem's first child, and that Amuenet's still watching over him, and that she's going to watch over their (him and his new wife, if that's who the guy and Aiko are, maybe not, but I'm going to pretend so) child, since she couldn't watch over any of her own children, not having any of her own. Hm...
Well, great chapter! I guess you're right, that it is kind of left to your own imagination. Still, I'm sorry, but I'm having questions about what was happening in the end... Perhaps there was more there and I just didn't pick up on it, but... do you think that you could explain it to me? I know it would make me feel better. I feel there's... loose threads... and I just can't grasp them, though they're probably there.
Well, fantastic story, overall! I have really enjoyed following your story, and I admit I'm sad that it's ending. But all things must, eventually, like they say. I'll still be sad that it's over, but not sad that it happened, for I enjoyed it very much! You did a really great job on it, and I wish you luck with whatever projects you decide on in the future! :D
Later, y'all! Kudos on an awesome story!
| Sunshine Unleashed chapter 31 . 3/19/2007
the best story ever!
| ChildOfFate17 chapter 31 . 2/20/2007
At one time in this fic's sad life, I could have said 'good job'. Now I can only say...
THANK GOD IT'S DONE!
Also, I didn't understand the last bit about 'Alyssus' and 'Aiko'. I take it Atem remarried or something? Oh well... good try...
It's been interesting, but at least I stuck it out. *pats self on back* *pats you on back* *shakes hands*
Alors, au revoir, mon amie.
| Savvy0X chapter 31 . 2/17/2007
I THINK I understand this ending, but I'm really not sure. I get the whole Atem part except for,"She has spoken, he is found." I think I understand the first part. Amuenet is at the gate to heaven or wherever, and because she followed the darkness in her heart she was not allowed in with her family, so she was reincarnated into a baby which just so happens to have to name Alyssus? I'm really not sure about that, but I'm just guessing. This was a great story. This is the kind of stories I like to read. Everyone makes it so cliche, but you guys did a good job. It was all psychological which is the kind of stories worth reading.
| Isabella of the Night chapter 31 . 2/17/2007
*sobs* so AMunent was reincarnated?
. i didnt really get that part sorry
and where's ur novel Witherworld?
it caught my interest and I wanna read it now