|Reviews for The Sonic Anime: My Version!|
| TatlTails chapter 2 . 3/22/2012
Thank you. THANK YOU! Finally SOMEONE noticed Tails sounded like he had a cold and Sonic had an accent! He sonded Irish to me, and he also had a cold. The only thing I didn't like was your constant use of the "S" word. The rest was funny though.
| Nintendo Revolution chapter 1 . 9/25/2005
Well, that was certainly an interesting fanfic. I liked it enough to add it to my favorite story list, though I do love the Sonic the Hedgehog anime shows. There were some very funny parts in this, and I liked the references to Sonic's other cartoon appearances, everything from Sonic Underground to Sonic X.
I actually prefer the Sonic anime shows to the American cartoons, because this movie seemed to compliment every Sonic the Hedgehog game, even Sonic Heroes, which was not released when this movie made its debut. Watching this movie, in my opinion, is like playing a tricked out Sonic fangame as a pro gamer, and most people enjoy it solely because of the action. Sonic X resembles a cross between the first cartoon, which is The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, and the other Japanese cartoon. But, well, it's me, of course I'm going to prefer Sonic's Japanese cartoon adventures to his Western cartoon adventures. I actually love the American shows as well.
The American Sonic the Hedgehog shows are actually good, although just from hearing about SatAM, you wouldn't think of it to be decent. I mean, if you only heard about it, it would sound like a Lord of the Rings parody! Of course, it apparently is, but considering that the SatAM is based on the original Sonic the Hedgehog comics, that were intentionally stupid, it's pretty well. Speaking of which, if you only read the description for this movie it wouldn't sound very well-written at all (you'll notice that the description clearly states that, Robotnik tells Sonic of an evil "Metal Robotnik" who damaged the Robot Generator). Perhaps the only thing I would change regarding this movie if I could is, Metal Robotnik's name.
Furthermore, there are some very humorous and daring bits of this fanfic, and as Phantom86 stated before me, I appreciate that someone wrote a fanfic based on the Sonic Anime. I encourage you to write a novelization of at least the first episode of Sonic X, if you're interested.
masternintendo gmail . com
| Delete My Spam Account chapter 2 . 8/29/2005
Yo, Nintendo Maximus. I've yet to find an option to revise or delete your reviews, so I'm writing a completely different review. Well, at least I'm trying. I don't know whether this will work or not, but it's worth a try, considering I nailed half the problems and yet didn't look at the bright side. I actually dared to read your entire parody this time, and man is it daring, albeit tragically unfunny. I hope you understand that you've really questioned your professionalism.
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In the shadows, Dr. Robotnik spoke as he watched his creation floating in front of him. "At last, you're almost complete, Hyper Metal Sonic! Once I've captured Sonic's essential DNA, I can get you to kill him, and then... I'LL GO ON NATIONAL TELEVISION!"
You've emphasized a once minor flaw in the feature. If there was nothing left of Planet Freedom, besides The Land of Darkness where nobody actually lives besides Dr. Eggman, who would be there to put him on national television, besides Sara and their children?
The sequence then changed it focus to some sort of floating island. There was a big canyon with some kind of abandoned rocketship stuck in it. On the beach in front of that ship-bearing mountain, Sonic the Hedgehog rested himself in his favorite beach chair. It was a pretty beautiful day outside, so he had good reason to be sitting there looking like he was trying to get a tan, rather than zooming around like he usually did. Never mind that he was an abnormal-colored hedgehog.
Some sort of floating island? In the early Genesis games with Sonic, there were floating islands. Continents, I mean continents. And that collection of things from the old Planet Freedom (which is from an era of warfare in my upcoming fanfic), that is called an earthship.
Just then, his more capable sidekick, Mile Prowers, better known as Tails, came running out of the ship, carrying a bodyboard and speaking with a voice that made him sound like he had a cold. "Hey Sonic! Check this out! I made us a jet-propelled bodyboard! Wanna try it out?"
His name is Miles Prower, not Mile Prowers.
Tails started up his bodyboard and started zooming around in the water, laughing like he was on crack. All the while, he continually splashed Sonic. Sonic growled and lifted his sunglasses.
That's one of the few funny parts of the fanfic, but I still don't think anything different about Liane Fraiser's performance as Tails. I wouldn't have picked Spencer Breslin for that role, for sure.
Sonic twitched ear, then jumped and screamed, "I SAID, SCREW IT!" But he was suddenly knocked out of his chair by the owl's rocket-plane, which Tails was yelling about.
Man, now you're insinuating that Sonic doesn't care about Tails. Sonic thought that Tails was making racket for no reason, that's why he actually shouted 'shut up, Tails'.
"Fancy straightening!" commented Oldman.
"Yeah, I somehow learned it while practicing on my bodyboard!" said Tails.
Has it ever occured to you that he could've gotten in better shape on his bodyboard, as opposed to learning how to straighten rockets with it? Besides, dialogue like that reminds me of a retarded Nicktoon.. do I even halfta spell it out..
"What the hell do you..." Oldman focused his glasses and saw what Tails was trying to point out. They were heading for a cliff.
This is the first part that truly sounds like a 4th grader, who watches too many movies and hates anime. And who said that his name is Oldman? Check the credits, Old Man Owl.
Tails let out a little girl scream. "Sonikku!"
What the hey are you talking about? First off, in Japanese for a little boy that would not be a little girl scream. And just in case you're wondering which of the thousands of retarded Nicktoons I was referring too, it was 'Fairly Oddparents'. If memory serves me right, in 'Maho Mushi' they were running out of unimportant and nonexistent flaws in 'Dragonball Z' to relentlessly pick at, so they switched over to 'Pokémon' and other similar shows for a while.
"Merci, Sonic!" said Tails. "Merci!"
Sonic winked. "Wrong guy."
Since when does Tails speak French? Better yet, where is France on Planet Freedom?
"Isn't it past your bedtime, Oldman?" Sonic had a nearby crab pinch the blind animal. "Oldman, you'd better have a good reason for wrecking my chair twice in one hour!"
Have you been watching the first 'Star Trek' movie a few too many times? The movie in and of itself is 60 minutes long, an hour if you don't know already.
"Well, it's got something to do with the boss. He..." Oldman suddenly realized he was talking to a flower, and then responded by rushing up to another blue flower and talking to it. "Uh... the President..."
"...Has some beer waiting for us at his house!" guessed Sonic.
This is one of the funnier parts of your little rave, but especially since there was a ton of potential in parodying that little outburst of his, Sonic's prediction and whatknot, that you bypassed.
"Oldman!" Sonic called. "Make sure no one takes our chili dog stash!"
Well, I'd question that any Sega-related Sonic story would have Sonic loving chilidogs, but he has shown interest in them in the other anime (the one that ends with an "x" instead of a "z"), and plus they spelled it out in an interview with the guy who does Sonic.
"Well, Mr. President, aside from the booze," Sonic asked, "what'd you call us up for?"
If you imagine SpongeBob saying that, it's actually really funny.
Two gun-toting SWATbots appeared behind Sonic and Tails, but were quickly wasted.
Swatbots? What the hey are they doing here? They're from the retarded american interpretations of our favorite blue hero, and those robots would halfta be Swatbots on steroids.
"No, Sonic, don't do it!" said a voice behind him. The camera turned to reveal the so-called President of Mobius, who could stand to lose some weight, and his daugther Sara, who could stand to get a better voice. They were both being held captive by SWATbots. "Sonic, Robotnik is invading the planet capitol for a reason."
I liked Sara's voice, and once again there are no Swatbots anywhere besides the doped-up world of americans who try to drive videogame publicity away from videogames. And for the record I'm not the only one who liked her voice, at Sascha's performance is mentioned right after the name of the movie itself. How do you like them apples?
Robotnik laughed and jumped over the desk. "Not really! Would I give them beer in exchange for their Dr. Peppers?"
"Yes!" said all the SWATbots, in unison.
This is another one of the really funny parts, but there's not a hint of alcohol in the actual movie, or any soda until we see Old Man (not Oldman) drinking some.
"Nuh-uh! We live on Planet Mobius!" Sonic corrected.
Who the hey said they live on Mobius? Not that you probably didn't chuck all your Sonic games years ago, when you realized stating the obvious is a real trait of Tails', but nowadays on the PlayStation 2, Xbox, GameCube and Dreamcast Sonic lives on Earth. But then again, you're probably trying to embed the comics applying to the games into the minds of less experienced gamers, right? Well, the comics can get with the times - no Planet Mobius.
"Well, what about little Sara here?" Robotnik indicated the President's whiny daughter.
"This whole thing sucks!" Sara whined.
Ladies and gentlemen, time for Nintendo Maximus to start poking fun at a character who's nothing but good. You eediot, couldn't you guess that Sara kept her language pretty clean, besides calling Metal a pervert, which is basically as obvious as it gets.
"Thank you, Sonic, I will!" Robotnik produced a hologram of Mobius. "As you all know well, Planet Mobius is made up of two separate dimensions. The outer one you happen to live in is known as the Fancy Lit-Up Land..."
"The continents never floated before!" objected Sonic.
THERE IS NO MOBIUS! AND YES THEY DID FLOAT IN THE FIRST GAMES! DO YOU GET IT NOW! *ahem* sorry about that, moving along.
"Shut the hell up, Spikeball!" Robotnik spat. "Anyway, the inner dimension is the Slighty-Dark Land. There, I was just minding my own business in the city of Robotropolis, when this hunk of junk named Metal-Robotnik came in from the village of Nowhere and had his SOB army of robots kick me out of my house. Then, he screwed around with my Robot Generator, which happens to create the city's electricity and is not to be confused with my Roboticizer which makes my robot slaves. Either way, it's running amuck, and the excess electricity is unable to be stored for some reason. Unless someone does something about it by tomorrow's sunrise, there will be a BIG BOOM!" The doctor looked around and saw that everyone else fell asleep during his flashback. "Fine! You've ruined my speech!" He popped the hologram with a pin, waking everyone up.
First off, it would've been funny if he would've said 'laugh it up, spikeball' like Han-Solo, wait! 'Star Wars' is too cool for you, I remember now. The part where he said he screwed with the Generator was funny, considering Edwin Neal's robust performance. AND WHAT THE HEY IS A ROBOTICIZER TO THE ANIME EGGMAN OR THE NEXT-GEN EGGMAN? NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING! The Robot Generator, just in case you're blonde enough to not notice by the name, generates his robotic slaves, without roboticizing other people, and it stores the high-voltage electricity. If that's too stupid to you, I wouldn't recommend analyzing the american Sonic crap, considering you'd have a heart-attack. And big boom? Too much aosth, buddy? He said 'giant explosion'. And finally, just to answer you query about the Robot Generator not being able to hold all of it, could you fit fifty marshmallows in your mouth without vomiting? I didn't think so, but keep that in mind.
Sonic continued to rub his nose. "I got my beach chair wrecked for this! Screw it, Robo-butt; you make me bust my ass in every game."
Good Lord, I just noticed something! Wouldn't you be making your american hedgehog idol a self-considerate jerk if this is really some twilight zone your precious is going through? Think these things over before making a flippin' idiot out of yourself.
Sara broke free too. "Please, Sonic! If you save the planet, I'll give you some noogie!"
Sonic jumped off of the desk. "No chance, Sara! I already have four girlfriends; I don't need another one!"
Four girlfriends? HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's funny like a blooper reel. If Sonic has four girlfriends, that would halfta be Princess Sally, Tiara Boobouski, Catty Carlisle and, and, AMY ROSE! Check it, bro! You say Sonic doesn't have any interest in Amy Rose, and HAHAHAHAHAHA! You just called her one of Sonic's girlfriends! I'm not a Sonamyshipper or a big fan of Amy or anything, but Amy fans rejoice! Besides, check it, even if you don't like it, Sonic was in love with Sara in the anime. Head over heels. Just like Knuckles and Sara and everyone else besides her own father.
Robotnik placed some sort of wrist-watch on Tails' wrist. "You're gonna be needing this, sprout. It's a navigator-watch that should get you to Robotropolis. Just like in the 'Looney Tunes' movie!"
What kind of Sonic fan cares about a 'Looney Tunes' movie? I most certainly don't. And besides, there's no way the writers did, and they weren't copying your precious Western crap, either.
Back at the President's house, Robotnik and Sara were playing a fighting video game on some sort of hologram projector crossbred with a Sega Saturn. Because Sara was a totally inexperienced player, Robotnik easily beat her. In the background, some SWATbots fanned the President while another one washed the windows.
Sara kicked and screamed. "No no no no no no! You rotten SOB! You never let me win! Let's play one more time."
Robotnik threw his controller on the ground. "Forget it! I'm sick of hearing you bitching and whining just 'cause you suck at this!"
"I'll tell Jen about this."
"OK, start again." Again, Robotnik kicked her ass.
Sara kicked and screamed again. "No no no! It simply can't be done! I quit! I wanna go to Disneyland."
That whole scene was screwed up. First off, who in your little range of fantasy is named Jen, the teenage robot? But what the hey would she be doing on Planet Freedom? And besides, at least in this country it isn't often that girls even play videogames, doesn't that make her reach the 'dynamics' you've seen in more involved fiction, like archaic 'Mickey Mouse' movies? And speaking of Mickey, where would Disneyland be on Freedom or Mobius?
"Well, the navigator tells me that this is the city of ancient relics." Tails explained.
"Relics? Preposterous! This looks more like New York City than Egypt."
Did it ever cross your mind that that those ancient relics could be New York City? My new fic will actually hold up some reasonable theories regarding that. Also, read the product description at they seem to have a theory going on.
They were suddenly knocked away by an big explody beam that came from out of nowhere. As they picked themselves up, they could see a gigantic robot in the likeness of Robotnik appearing in front of them, cackling like some other anime villain.
That wasn't really a likeness of Eggman, it looked more like that idiot who poses as him in Satam. And what's 'explody', is it your way of saying you miss The Big Cartoonie Show on Kids' WB?
"Yeah, I'm Metal Robotnik," the behemoth replied. "You were expecting the ghost of Lord Farquaad possessing Woody Woodpecker?"
You really should've saved mentioning Lord Farquaad's ghost, for when Dark Eggman is rising. Then Tails could've said 'oh no, I think it's the ghost of Lord Farquaad'. You could've commented on Ghostbusters here. And let's mix things up, yo. I'm a big fan of Shrek, and Lord Farquaad is alive somehow, as a matter of fact. Haven't you ever seen 'Shrek 4-D'?
"No, we were expecting you to let us pass," said Sonic as Tails made an inappropriate gesture. "Move your dumb ass!"
"You'll pay for that language!" Metal-Robotnik revealed his guns and shot at Sonic & Tails unsuccessfully. "Let me shoot you!" he yelled. "I'm missing 'Jerry Springer'!" Sonic tried to kicks Metal-Robotnik in the head, but he only succeeded in hurting his foot. "Ha! This armor will be the mustard that makes the sandwich of your doom!" When he said that, Tails flew in front of him. Metal-Robotnik tried to swat him, but Tails dodged just in time, and the giant ended up hitting himself in the face. "Agh! Sonuva..." he cursed.
Jerry Springer? Sorry, I've outgrown laughing whenever I hear that dude's name. And if you listen close enough, Dark Eggman says something in the english dub much more inappropriate. The mustard in the sandwich of doom? Please, please stop saying things that remind me of that terrible show my sister insists on watching. You know, rhymes with bairly bod barents?
"We can't mess with this guy now!" said Sonic. "We gotta stop the Robot Generator."
"Wait a sec... it's just past that highway that wasn't there before!" Tails pointed to the highway in question.
"Nice plot deduction!"
What the hey are you talking about? How would you know it wasn't there? And even if it weren't, I remember the crew of Satam changing the size of Griff's chunk of that Chaos Emerald or whatever, as it was convenient for them. Did that ever cross your mind? So, in that case, Griff should've said 'this show sucks' at the end, with Sonic replying with 'I know, I prefer the well written anime movie'. Check it.
"Yo, Black-Eggman!" Sonic called as he and Tails got on top of said highway.
Metal-Robotnik faced them. "WHAT!"
"This battle's putting us behind schedule, so we'll squeeze you in later." Sonic gave his gigantic adversary the middle finger as Tails stuck out his tongue.
"Don't call me that!" Metal-Robotnik growled as he unfolded wings and activated his jets, ruining a perfectly good cape in the process.
I thought you prefered the name Robotnik, that makes no since! I mean what, is that 'robotic beatnik' or something? And isn't he only a robot in the crapola comics? And for another thing, who the hey cares about some stupid cape?
Ah!" Sonic & Tails managed to grab onto the girders underneath. Hanging for dear life, they made drowning noises. "We can't swim 'cause Sega doesn't know good characters abilities!" Sonic muttered.
Put a quotation point at the start of that, and now you're bashing Sega for the first time in the fanfic. I think the third most popular game franchise, is better than the second most popular early-90's kids action franchise. Satam is retarded, but everyone liked 'Power Rangers' better, so who the hey cares?
They tried to progress onwards, but they suddenly heard Metal-Robotnik's voice again. "Peek-a-boo, I see 'ou!" His thundering voice startled Tails. "You must think my IQ is 2, right?" And he started shooting glue at them through his butt.
"What's this supposed to be?" Sonic picked at the glue-stuff. "Cheese boogers?"
Tails was suddenly hit and nailed to a fence. "Crapmonkeys!"
"Crapmonkeys?" repeated Sonic.
Yeah, Sonic, what's a crapmonkey? And that ain't glue, it's cheese!
"You still have the Powerpuff Girls to worry ab-" Tails suddenly noticed Sonic coming in on one of the missiles. "Oh, never mind!"
Powerpuff Girls? What are they doing here? Couldn't some other ADV Films-distributed character be a problem instead, if you halfta make references outside of Sonic?
Metal-Robotnik stepped forward, crushing the ground underneath his feet. "You may be the fastest thing alive, but when you're not, you're just an ordinary slow-mo. I can't believe you dared to challenge me!"
I actually thought of that aosth line first time around.
"Knuckles!" Tails shouted the red echidna's name.
Knuckles is a mole in this movie, not an echidna.
"Expecting Sonic's siblings?" Knuckles glided away after freeing Tails.
Sonic has no siblings, besides in that DiC show that nobody remembers.
But at the point, Tails heaved Sonic from the glue. The mutant hedgehog then sawed off Metal-Robotnik's hand, saving Knuckles. "Thanks for helping, Knux," he said.
"Shouldn't it be the other way around?" nitpicked Knuckles.
Man, you are thick. Sonic was referring to the help Knuckles gave him before he saved him. Knuckles was referring to what just happened when he said 'I think we're even'.
"So, Sonic thinks he's invincible just 'cause he stopped Metal-Robotnik?" Robotnik bit. "Well, he'll be one sorry glory hog when he reaches Robotropolis!"
Sara hits him on the head with a metal pole. "You listen here, Ivo! I may not have sexual interest in Sonic, but you'd better not hurt him!"
OHH..so you're always talking about stereotypical girls, and you make it out to be that if a girl has no sexual interest in someone that they shouldn't give a rat's (explative) about them? WOW! I think you were on drugs when you wrote this, maybe that's why you assume that it's ok for Sonic and Tails to drink booze. And who the hey is 'Ivo'? Nobody in this scene, that's for sure.
"This is my animated debut; I wanna make the most of it!" Knuckles glided ahead of them. "Besides, I'm not gonna be this nice to you on 'Sonic X'."
Great, dude. What a knee-slapper. I'm rolling on the floor, laughing and dying of a heart-attack right now. But all idiocy aside, Knuckles just wanted to help, nothing else.
Tails followed, laughing on crack again.
He doesn't laugh on crack, for the last time! He has a way better voice in this show then he did in the DiC shows!
(In-Betweener) I'm on a roll here, so I'm just going to write my reviews on the same page. Hope you don't mind, but it's not as long as it looks! That's what I tell everyone.
* * * * * * * * * *
"Well, hold it in! Ha ha!" Knuckles laughed. But he suddenly blasted at by the snail-like Badninks from Sonic 3's Launch Base Zone. "Those little buggers are gonna pay dearly for that!" he swore.
Ahem, what the hey is a Badnink? I've only heard of a Badnik, in my knowledge of retarded american Sonic modifications.
"Hey, it's that robo-Sonic from Sonic CD!" Tails stated the obvious again.
"Shouldn't we be pretending this is our first encounter?" nitpicked Knuckles.
Metal Sonic and Hyper Metal Sonic are two completely different robots. Hyper Metal Sonic is kind of like the prototype of Metal Sonic (you hear Eggman talking about making another one that isn't much like Sonic at the ending, so this movie is actually supposed to be the prequel to 'Sonic CD').
The voice was Dr. Robotnik was suddenly heard from out of nowhere, laughing like an idiot. "I'M A PEPPER! HA HA HA!"
That part got my funny bone, I'm not sure why, but part #2 of this fic is way more funny than part #1 in my opinion. I guess that's the start of plenty of other funny jokes.
Tails whimpered. "Call the Ghostbusters!"
Like I said earlier, you should change it to wear Tails goes 'ohh, I think it's the ghost of Lord Farquaad', if you even have to insinuate that Lord Farquaad's dead anyway.
Sara the whiner came out of the rubble, pulling Robotnik by his moustache. "Get your ass out of my belly button, Eggman!"
Aside from the profanity, that's cleaner than their actual conversation while they were trying to get out if you listen closely. But what the hey is 'Sara the whiner' supposed to mean?
"I get it!" Knuckles pointed an accusing glove their way. "They're having an affair!"
Sara cried like the bitch she is, much to Robotnik's embarassment. "You should've said something different," teased Tails.
Lol, that part is truly funny, other than the part where you had to call Sara a bitch. She's not!
"I, Dr. Julian 'Ivo Robotnik' Panchito Felipe Saki Pussy Jenson Kintobor have created the Hyper Metal Sonic!" the doctor declared.
So that crap name is his crap name from Fleetway and that other retarded comic, is it not?
"Hyper?" Tails nitpicked that word. "You're joking! It doesn't even look flashy!"
"Well, you try picking out a name to make something old look new! So let's just call him 'Metal' for short." Robotnik explained. "Anyway, I was just transferring Sonic's DNA to this thing rather than electrocuting him earlier, so now it's ready!"
Actually, storyline wise, Hyper Metal Sonic is new and Metal Sonic hasn't even been created yet, but I've already been there (not that I haven't been beating dead horses for this whole thing).
"Destroy our homes!" Sara waved a metal part at him again. "I'm gonna call Teamo Supremo about this!" Some SWATbots came in to shut her sassy mouth.
"GIVE US BACK OUR BEER, ROBUTTNIK!" Sonic insulted his nemesis.
First and foremost, who cares about Teamo Supremo who'd be reading this? Second off, who even knows who those sorry little midgets are? And thirdly, what would they be doing on Freedom?
"This shouldn't be tough," bragged Sonic. "Darkwing Duck does this all the time."
Here we go again. Who cares about/has heard of Darkwing Duck, why can't you be making references to perhaps Jetix heroes rather than Toon Disney characters, and what would anyone of them have been doing on a basically pretty deserted planet?
Robotnik watched in his robo-pod with a bound and gagged Sara. "At last I have an invention that will put me on national television! Screw you, FoxBox!" he said as Metal Sonic headbutted Sonic in the back.
Why is he screwing Foxbox? What did Foxbox do, besides broadcast shows that are way cooler than Satam, or anything that aired on Toon Disney before February 2005 for that matter?
As Metal Sonic caught Sonic by the leg and broke out of the ceiling, Robotnik laughed like an idiot again. "Go Metallu!"
I don't see any reason to switch over to the original production in this case, besides that that is one of the few lines that Eggman's Japanese voice did that was cooler than Edwin Neal.
Up above, Robotnik untied Sara. "Sorry to have disturbed you, but someone just had to shut your sasshole up."
"Well, nice try! I'm never gonna stop bitching till things go my way!" Sara whined.
Oh Lord, SO HILARIOUS.. I'm dying, too funny, please have mercy. Knee...slapper... *dies* Yes, that was sarcasm, that was actually as hilarious as Ben Stein reading a jar of Folgers. Parts like this are like 'Fairly Oddparents'-unplugged. Like a marathon of PG-13 Maho Mushi. *yawn*
Back on that island at the beginning of the story, Oldman had made himself comfortable on the beach, despite it being night. Hey, he was an owl. "I wonder why the local liquor store's not open at this hour." As he said that, he suddenly noticed Metal Sonic coming his way, but didn't notice anything strange about how he looked. "Oh, are you back already, Sonic? ... Uh, did you get drunk? Wait! I'm not gay! DON'T TOUCH ME!"
This is my favorite part of the fanfic, lmao. I laughed and laughed. I actually thought that the last couple of times through. But the funny parts of this fanfic are basically because we know that this is what you were thinking as you watched it.
In a forest somewhere, Sonic, who had landed in a conveniently-placed shrubbery, regained consciousness. "Oh, what a hangover. That must've been some serious beer the President had earlier..." Just then, he pictured his robotic counterpart flying at him. "Wait; that was no hallucination!"
That was Green Lake City. And besides, The Land of the Sky is full of things like that from the start, there's a reason 'Fancy Lit-Up Land' as you call it is where the good guys choose to live.
Elsewhere, the President of Mobius watched as the cities of Mobius were being destroyed. But he didn't seem to care. I wonder if Robotnik ever realized he took my cocoa butter... he thought.
They weren't trying to make him look like he didn't care, they were trying to make him look serious. Mr. President's personality is strong, but he himself usually causes most of the trouble. And all he knew about what was going on was Dark Eggman. That's why he said 'could this be the work of Dark Eggman?'. And why would he want cocoa butter so bad?
Oldman showed up behind them, wearing rather silly clothes. "I'm over here, chump! I saw an 'Inspector Gadget' marathon."
OK, so he saw an 'Inspector Gadget' marathon sometime in the middle of being abducted by Hyper Metal Sonic and this scene, who cares? It isn't like anyone would laugh just by hearing his name besides perhaps DiC's Japanese executive producer.
"Hey, Sonic may not dress often, but he's gonna kill you when he sees you in his favorite clothes!" threatened Tails.
"Don't be silly! He took me out for beer last night and then flew away to steal some arcade cabinets!" Oldman laughed.
"Steal arcade cabinets?" Knuckles & Tails looked at each other. "...METAL!"
Sonic might just dress as a novelty, but why would Metal steal arcade cabinets? And how could you pass up so many oppurtunities to crack a hilarious joke? Instead of using vulgarity wherever it isn't funny in the least (in most situations) I think you should've used it in a situation like this. In almost everywhere in the fanfic the PG-13 humor wasn't funny in the least (besides when Knuckles claims that Eggman and Sara are having an affair, and when Old Man Owl screams 'I'm not gay, don't touch me!'. Honestly, though, that joke would've made me bust a gut 5 years ago.
In the sky, Robotnik laughed at the expense of the Fancy Lit-Up Land. "Oh yes! It won't be long now, and the Fancy Lit-Up Land will soon be gone. Now for phase 3 of my operation..." And he pulled a wedding dress from out of nowhere. "Here y'go, Sara. I got this at David's Bridal."
"Yabba-dabba-doo!" said Sara.
You should've made Eggman snort laughing and then say 'Like it, Sara? I knitted it myself'. And yabba-dabba-doo? I wish I didn't know what that meant, and did you notice that only the men in that archaic old show had so little dignity to actually say that? It wasn't cool at any time.
Again, at the good guy hideout, Tails tinkered with his navigator. "Will you stop fooling with that!" Knuckles grouched. "We gotta go find Sonic, even though we don't know if he's alive or not!"
"Rotor's not here," Tails explained, "so I have to re-arrange the microchips myself so this thing works to our advantage."
Of course he's not here, he doesn't even exist!
"I recall Robotnik saying he programmed Sonic's DNA into Metal Sonic. Therefore, Metal Sonic most likely also has an appetite for chili dogs and affection for squirrel princesses. And obviously the same fashion sense and ways of pulling pranks on Oldman."
Ohh, now you're trying to subtly get that Sonic likes squirrel princesses at people, but the truth is HE DOES NOT LIKE SQUIRREL PRINCESSES! SOME GUY WHO LOOKED KIND OF LIKE HIM THAT ARCHIE COMICS AND DIC ENTERTAINMENT MADE UP THAT ACTED LIKE NAPOLEON DYNAMITE'S BROTHER DOES! THE SONIC IN THE ANIMES AND THE GAMES THAT ACTUALLY COUNTS FOR SOMETHING LIKES HEDGEHOG PRINCESSES AND THE PRESIDENTS' DAUGHTER, NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT SARA THE REAL SONIC REALLY DID LOVE HER! Doesn't that burn your toast?
Knuckles looked burned out. "You sounded like Princess Sally there..."
Oh, so Knuckles could even travel to alternate Sonic universes? Cool! And did he have a time machine that looked like a GameCube connected to a pogo stick? Did he travel to 1982?
"Couldn't you do it yourself?" said the servant, not moving his lips.
What kind of paid servant says something like that, other than that girl on 'Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends'? And who cares that his mouth wasn't exactly moving when he said 'sure', it isn't like that isn't a part of the great animation style, and it isn't like two big heads with bold ink that belonged to Sonic and Princess Sally weren't moving and tiny foggy bodies while they judged each others' kisses like 'Super Mario Bros. Super Show!' on a good day (Kaz says 'I heard that' in the background), among other animation errors that are terrible to watch.
"Who are you?"
"I'm an old friend of Sonic's. But not in the sexual sort."
I know it's a little early to get into another screaming fit, but, IF YOU THOUGHT KNUCKLES ACTUALLY MEANT THAT HE WAS IN LOVE WITH SONIC, YOU NEED A CAT SCAN!
Back wherever she was, Sara was wearing the wedding dress that Robotnik had pulled out. "So am I ready enough for a close-up?"
"For someone like you, yes." Robotnik had somehow changed into a cyan bowtie.
First off, you could've said 'for someone who thinks that Cream the Rabbit is dreamy, Eggman was pretty calm about Sara looking like Leena in her bath towel on 'Zoids', but then again I guess they were changing their clothing in the same space'. And why would Eggman say something like that, anyway? He really likes Sara, did you even notice that? And so did everyone else too!
"Well, I want to get laid after the Fancy Lit-Up Land is destroyed," Robotnik adjusted his bowtie, "and since you're the only female character in this story, you're my choice."
Well, she was a pretty good only female character, especially since most of them act like Olive Oil from 'Popeye', INCLUDING PRINCESS SALLY. And besides, as deserted as the future planet earth is, I'm sure that there are other girls in the story who aren't documented. He basically chose Sara when he had the 'Swatbots' kidnapped her, at least I think he did.
Sara went into a fantasy of what it would be like being married to Robotnik. Despite the fact that he was the same species as her, she didn't seem to like the idea. She growled at him and shook him crazily, scratching his face as she did so. "YOU'RE BLOODY CRAZY! I'd rather be a lesbian than take your last name!"
I can't help but find that funny, it wasn't funny the first time through since I was so po'd at you, but since I'm not really anymore, that is funny. And you have to admit, it was also funny the first time without the vulgarity added in. And you have to admit the movie's music was great too.
"Yeah. I've been traveling around Mobius for quite some time, and I discovered something. I can't quite remember it all, but it goes something like this. The northern tip of the planet has links of ice, and I think there's blood vessels underneath. Or maybe they're magma tunnels that seem reminiscent of blood vessels. If the ice links or blood vessels or whatever are blown up by an explosion or something, I think the magma's supposed to melt the ice and send the Mobius continents into space where they'll all have Big Booms."
The President looked horrified. "That didn't make a lick of sense!"
That actually did make since, before you modified that sequence.
The President turned around. "Oh, it's a-you, Sonikku!"
So, is Mr. President Mario and Luigi's long-lost brother, that was a good line though.
"Crapmonkeys!" said Tails & Knuckles simultaneously.
So, in this fanfic, it's all about crapmonkeys and cheeseboogers, and in 'King Koopa Katastrophe Spoof' Mario and the rest can't keep themselves from saying 'oh (some creature that rhymes with monkey) ass'. I actually had a cycle like that in a fanfic of my own one time.
"This monitor that Sega provided gives me all I need to watch!" laughed Robotnik. "Now it's off to the North Pole to watch the destruction of Mobius."
So, I'm not the only one who noticed the word 'Sega' on it?
"NO NO NO!" Sara kicked and screamed. "I'D RATHER MARRY A GAY MAN THAN YOU!"
Didn't you already get your point across earlier?
Knuckles was standing comfortably on the wing. "Hey Tails, are we gonna see Santa Claus when we get to the North Pole?"
"I don't think so; he retired in the Christmas special, remember?"
What christmas special? I haven't seen any japanese christmas specials with Sonic, and Sega doesn't make that many christmas games besides 'Christmas Nights into Dreams'.
"What? You're telling me Mobius isn't big enough for the two of us?"
Metal Sonic nodded, and beeped as if saying "Precisely."
"Well, maybe the planet is big enough, but... let's do this anyway!" Sonic began fighting Metal Sonic again, eventually trying to headbutt each other. "You may think you're all that, but I'm actually more popular because I have more girlfriends than you do! Strange, isn't it!"
Nice 'Star Wars' novelization-ish interpretation of what Metal was saying, but don't you know what the other part means? Even I know that that's what cowboys say, 'this town ain't big enough for the two of us'. You might want to freshen up on your america know-how with a good western movie, because I shouldn't have even known that! And the part where he was talking about his girlfriends wasn't worded quite right, but it was quite humorous.
Sara was kicking at Metal Sonic, who was looking up her dress at the moment. "You cheesebooger pervert! Get your head away from my ass!"
That's almost funny, too bad you had to say 'cheesebooger'. I'm younger than you and I don't find any humor in the word 'cheesebooger'. And a 'crapmonkey' is almost funny.
"Serves her right!" said Sonic as Metal Sonic put a lucha libre hold on him.
*lisping* Hey, kids! Get out your sticks, 'CAUSE IT'S TIME TO BEAT A DEAD HORSE! *preschoolers cheer* Sonic loves Sara, he was about to save her before Knuckles beat him to it, AND YOU ONLY KNOW WHAT A LUCHA LIBRE HOLD IS THANKS TO.. well, do I even halfta say it..
"Whoo!" Down below, Knuckles caught Sara. "Well, hel-lo."
"Why'd you do that?" Sonic asked angrilly.
*screams like Skindred* well, that concludes our session of beating a dead horse, time to sing kids.. I love you, you love me, we're best friends as friends should be with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too.. uh-oh! Insulted Barney in front of Nintendo Maximus! *lisping* RUN KIDS, INSANE BARNEY FAN ON THE LOOSE!
At the bottom of the mountain, Sara laughed wildly as Knuckles slipped and slid on the ice. "Hey, riding in someone's arms as he slides on ice is SPIFF!" she said, and kissed Knuckles, causing him to fall down. "Being a SegaSonic girl is great, 'cause you can take action and whine!"
You're insulting SegaSonic girls again? COME ON, KIDS! IT'S TIME FOR A SUDDEN ENCORE! DEAD HORSES FOR EVERYONE! THIS TIME IT'S IN OUR HIDDEN BASE! NO CRAZED 20-YEAR-OLDS WHO ARE OBSESSED WITH MISCOLORED DINOSAURS WILL FIND US HERE! And if you like this party, rest assured that we'll have a 'Satam girls are total sleaz bags who aren't nearly as hot as a 6-year-old rabbit with terrible voices that pail in comparison of the voices in either version of the Sonic anime shows' party! *everyone starts dancing to hip hop* whoops, we got caught again..
But then, Tails, who had turned into a snowball from his ride down the mountain, came rolling by, taking Sara and Knuckles and causing Robotnik to fall out of his pod. Eventually, the snowball crashed into a wall near the burning ice links. When it cleared, Knuckles could see that not only had Tails lost his pilot helmet during the crash, but he was grabbing Sara's breasts as well. "Tails! Let 'er go!"
Tails jumped back. "Did I just..."
"What kinda ten-year-old are you!" Knuckles got interrupted by the Sonics fighting near them. "Hey! The fight's not over!"
Even worse, what kind of eight-year-old is he? Have the perpetual marathons of insulting 'Fairly Oddparents' tv specials made you think that Tails has to be at least ten?
"Well, what am I to do?" said Knuckles.
"Be threatened to hear my bitching again?" Sara kissed him again.
Oh Lord, we're going to be beating dead horses all night if that crazed pink dino-aholic doesn't find it. Ok, check this, yo. Knuckles is in love with Sara, he turned into a Super Knuckles when she kissed him (sorry about the bad smbss-inflicted dialogue), and etc, etc, etc.
"Doctress! You have a deal!" Knuckles jumped into the ground and dug around the ice links, somehow stopping the magma flow from melting the ice.
"Woohoo!" said Sara and Tails in unison. "Yay for bad writing!"
Yeah, and in the Sonic comics, they were too lazy and desperate for money so they flipped Darwinism around and made it where the humans evolved into four-fingured animals and the others killed each other, and that Robotnik and Snively somehow survived, or something like that. But what can I say? One of the only interesting Archie comics is, well, Archie. But back to the track, I guess Sally would be so happy for an excuse to be perpetually naked all the time that she'd shout 'yay for bad writing!' And the rest is like Tolkein on drugs! But now that I've defended this movie the way I offend fop, I'd also like to let you know that he was changing the flow of the magma in there, that's why his hat was was on fire. How he did that, I don't know, but you'll notice by the scene where their running through the route to Robotropolis that the movie has unrealistic pyshics, much like the videogames themselves.
But it didn't change the fact that Sonic was getting his ass whipped by Metal Sonic, who then attempted to choke him. "No, no no! That's the real Sonic you're hurting!" Ignoring Knuckles' headwear problem, Sara jumped at Metal Sonic and attempted to beat him up. "I don't care if you like chili dogs and squirrel princesses, YOU'RE BAD!"
I'm bored. Let's just eat all these dead horses laying around. And how about Baby Bop and BJ as a side-dish? Oh, no! Nintendo Maximus has teamed up with loser superheroes like Darkwing Duck and cool ones he likes for no reason like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Link! We're doomed, guys. Except me of course, I still have half a fanfic chapter to chew up and spit out!
"He must've come for his cocoa butter!" Sara remarked.
"How did you know?" said Sonic. "Well, it would appear he might not get it!"
You're pointing out your own mistakes, and by now I'm sure that you were right! If you were seriously modifying the Sonic anime movie, it'd be pure gold! *with Darth Vader's voice* Tell your sister, you were right.. *dies again*
Metal Sonic blasted at Sonic, trying to kill him again. Along the way, Knuckles popped out of holes like a certain bit in the "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" theme song, eventually getting hit on the head by Sonic. Needless to say, he didn't like that.
Yeah, I thought of aosth in that scene too. They were both whacking moles too, but I doubt they even saw that movie. Anyway, those were the holes Knuckles made stopping the magma, just in case you didn't know already. So I suppose everything in this movie happens for a reason.
"OLDMAN!" Sara cried, not saying anything about her dad.
WHAT? Ok, sorry for the Bowser scream, but that was the most dramatic part of the movie, except for when Hyper Metal Sonic sacrifices himself for the others. She called out for her dad, and I almost cry whenever that happens. If you would actually edit that part, then you don't have a heart! Whoops! Too mushy, and that probably makes no sense to you, so I'll use Kacy Shelley speak. You must be drunk and in need of a head exam!
Knuckles: "Hey, why's Metal-"
Sonic: "Yeah, why-"
That's still in script format, how busy were you to finish this down-and-out fanfic before 2005?
Metal Sonic dropped the two anime team-OCs onto the good guys and fell into the magma below. Sonic jumped in to try and save him, apparently forgetting that this thing had just made several attempts to kill him. "Metallu!"
Yes, he DID forget all those times. That's the beauty of it all. Metal was sacrificing himself, and between them having the same mind and Tails and Knuckles playing with Metal's memory banks, he did forget. That's the moral as well, that even applies to biblical morals, that he forgot all the crap Metal did. I'm sure that the heartless, dumb version of Kipman Ronald Dynamite in Satam that could never be a cage fighter without retarded 'power rings' would be too shallow to portray such morals. Sonic in the games forgot all the crap Chaos did too, if you even remember. That's why I react best to the Sonic that actually matters for something, in the games and the anime shows, is for that. Sappy again, man, I need to go to bed or contaminate my mind with 'Dumb and Dumber'.
But instead of dragging Sonic down, Metal Sonic slapped his hand away.
"Uh?" Sonic looked confused.
"Sonic... I am your brother..." With his first (and last) words, Metal Sonic then let the lava consume him.
Are you trying to stretch the little you know about 'Star Wars' or something. Most people don't know this, but Vader never said 'Luke, I am your father' and Yoda never said 'you will'. Those quotes were alot different, and Yoda didn't sound creepy when he said 'you will be' either.
Later that day, all the non-villains looked over the remains of the battle. "Don't be so sad, Sonic," said Sara. "It's not good for your reputation."
"Yeah!" added Tails. "Besides, Metal left us his booze supply in his will!"
Sorry, but remember when you said that Kacy guy could have one Budweiser, Tails? Well, there was a particularly gripping marathon of 'Pee-Wee's Playhouse' on and he drank 'em all. But I've got some root beer at home..! Ah, never mind. And for the record, a non-villain is called a protagonist, a word you could've said since it wasn't mentioned once in this fanfic.
"I can always build another Metal Sonic, 'cause I happen to have his data on this CD here!" Robotnik boasted. "My stronger model of Metal Sonic will not have an interest in chili dogs or interspecies dating, and thanks to that, I will conquer Mobius once more! I can see you're all sick of your chances of winning." Just then, his tortoise missile from earlier grabbed the CD. "Hey, where've you been! Uh..."
Yeah, Sonic does like dating outside his own *whisper* species, he really likes Sara! Whoops, Nintendo Maximus' toast is on fire, and so is his head! RUN!
* * * * * * * * * *
Well, I know I've questioned my professionalism as well, but I don't feel very good, I need my chapstick, I'm practically preaching to you, I haven't seen 'Dumb and Dumber' for about an entire year, and on top of all that I need some sleep. And by now, you're probably so angry you won't be able to sleep for a while, but just so you won't halfta wait for me to wake up to yell at me, I want you to know that I'm not even dissing you. Well, actually, I was, but you know how I am about Japanese cartoons based on videogames. Anyway, please give me a long, drawn-out reply to this message via e-mail (be as angry as you want, but please no vulgarity) and I would also appreciate it if you could return the favor and criticize my upcoming fanfic, 'Sonic the Hedgehog 2'. Well, that's about it, thanks for giving me some stress, hopefully I'll lose a little weight out of this.
God Bless You, Blimpo Warrior (a.k.a. Darth Katana or Meteorite Capacity)
| Delete My Spam Account chapter 1 . 7/6/2005
Gosh, you're ruining my life! ;; I only read a little bit of it because I was this close to dying of boredom and it was almost close to being mildly entertaining in TWO scenes, but I shouldn't expect more than that from somebody who prefers "Sonic the Hedgehog" (SatAM) to two really awesome "Sonic" animes. Uh...
And about Sara, she isn't all THAT annoying. There are some really awful girls in movies who REALLY top her. And I don't like her THAT much anymore, so I'm glad to say that my words are unbiased. But then again, you wouldn't know any better since the only movies you watch are for little kids, right? (that was kind of rude, no offense...)
Anyway, I'm sorry, but I HIGHLY doubt that the movie would've been any good if you wrote it. Sara was perfectly likable, Tails had a good voice in the English AND Japanese, and I LIKED Sonic's accent. And General Entertainment Co, Ltd. made this movie, not ADV Films, genius! Oh, well. That was actually pretty intelligent for a "Fairly Oddparents" fan. And don't take offense to that either; next time you write a review, read the end of the page. ;;
| Phantom86 chapter 1 . 5/10/2005
Well, at least SOMEONE did the Anime OAV version, finally. The new dialoge is a little wierd (just my opinion), but nice job nonetheless.
And, not that this matters, but did you know that during the trek through the area related to the games that they run into a Crawlton, not a Catakiller? Like I said, that doesn't really matter, I just felt like pointing it out...
Anyway, Metal next, right? Cool!
| Nail Strafer chapter 1 . 5/10/2005
First of all, let me say thank you so much for doing a Sonic Movie fanfic! It's such an overlooked universe, and I wish more people would use it rather than stick to Sonic X, Sonic Adventure, and SatAM.
As for the humor, it was pretty much hit and miss. Some of it (like the booze jokes) made me roll my eyes. Tails laughing like he was on crack though was hilarious though, cause now that I think about it that is true. I'll never be able to look at that fox the same way again when he laughs in that movie...
I was kind of disappointed though when you didn't make a comment about the part when Tails' tails are stuck together from that glue stuff, and then like two seconds later they're unstuck even though Tails didn't do anything to get rid of the glue. I would love to see what you could do with that part.
I must comment though on you calling the place Planet Freedom. If you ask me, the Sonic Movie runs in an entirely different continuity from the games and the other cartoons, so the name could be Planet Freedom. Besides, in every other universe there's only been one floating island, and the Sonic Movie had many floating islands, even floating CONTINENTS.
I'm also sort of thinking that Planet Freedom is Earth in the future, and that's why they refer to the New York-esque place as "ancient relics". That must have been a city from the present day after it was abandoned many years ago or something. (However, in my fanfic series based on the movie, I call Earth and PF seperate places. I thought I could make a more interesting story that way).
While I don't approve of just taking the plotline of the movie and adding silly comments and stuff here and there, you're doing a better job of it than I expected. I'd love to see what you do with the fights with Metal Sonic.