|Reviews for Predilection: 27th Hour|
| Midnyte Wolf chapter 1 . 4/5/2006
XD I feel I must track my mud of a review through your stories once more! I shall bring forth my undying love for your works! Forever! Mwahahaha!
o.o This was very, VeRy intriguing... omg, and you're so EVIL! Evil little porcipine! Leavin' me at a cliffhanger like that! *gasp* How dare you! Do you know how much I enjoyed this! I think not. I was really, really captured by the newness to the... um, "feel" I guess you could say. That is why you are my hero. I really loved the thought of this... even if I have never heard of Predilection before. - It's still highly contageious. MORE! MORE OF ALL OF IT! I DEMAND IT! *fav*
| Innocent Guillotine chapter 1 . 1/12/2006
A wee bit confusing, but very good overall. _
| wktk chapter 1 . 5/16/2005
Me: I like it. Can i beta for you? I'm quite good at spelling and grammar.
Raine: YOU MUST CONTINUE OR ELSE!
| Numisma chapter 1 . 5/15/2005
not bad for a first chapter. the set-up for this story sounds good so far.
my only real problem is that you have a major problem with verb tense inconsistency. you keep switching between past tense and present tense. it's very distracting. i've recently developed a taste for present tense fiction, so it's not that i have a problem with present tense. it's the way you keep going from present tense to past tense in your narrative. it really needs to be fixed up, or your flow will be majorly off.
in other words, please get a beta reader to help flush these things out, as well as the occasional typo i found here and there. oh, and of course, a few sentence fragments that seemed too obtrusive to be stylistic. those ought to be fixed.
i would offer to beta for you, but i already beta read for about twelve different people in my primary fandom, and i'm a wee bit backlogged at the moment ;;
but i do stress, aside from the presentation/narrative drawbacks i've already brought up, it looks like you've got a handle on this piece. good luck. i think i'll follow this one. i normally only go for AU in my primary fandom as opposed to this one, but i think your premise is interesting enough i'll give in