Reviews for Shadow on My Heart
Bellatrix567 chapter 3 . 7/22/2014
Blue eyes and brown hair, very beautiful and better than canon characters in the things they are most proficient at . . . familiar, but I'll not comment.
Instead, let's review timelines. I know it's hard, but the years are extremely easy to locate, and there are plenty of timelines on the internet.
-Twenty-three year old Severus has been mourning Lily's death for two years. Based on the fact that he's still rather depressed, he wouldn't get over her that quickly - or is his heart purely for Mary now?
-Slughorn taught Severus. Your new potions master has been here three years at most, assuming Slughorn retired after Severus and the Marauders graduated. Severus is not interested in Hogwarts, nor is Dumbledore interested in him, during any of these three years.
-Dumbledore's hand is supposed to be ruined by now. This is the reason he gives Severus the Defense job, not out of convenience. If it was out of convenience, Severus would have been Defense professor instead of Gilderoy Lockhart, or perhaps before Harry's time (Quirrell at least seemed proficient).
-Tonks is suffering from mild depression and is unable to Morph properly. Her hair is brown. This is HBP you're writing in, isn't it?
-If Severus is six years older than Callista as you said, she wouldn't have witnessed Lily defending him in fifth year. She is a first year during his sixth.
-And unless she joined the Order before graduating Hogwarts, she doesn't know Sirius and James too well, either, let alone is their friend. The Marauders are accepting, but there is no reason one twelve-year-old fangirl would preside above the others.
Yes, I'm being bitchy because of the presence of an OC. Yes, it's not fair, everyone makes mistakes. I get that. But based on the length of this story, you're dedicated enough. Basic timelines aren't too hard; I established the majority of ages by fourth grade.
Gustafa chapter 12 . 9/23/2012
I have enjoyed your story very much and hope that you decide to update it soon, though it seems its been a while. I have also rather enjoyed your writing methods. I hope that all is well with you, and thank you for sharing this wonderful story with all of us!
Moonchild1212 chapter 12 . 7/19/2012
Love the story so far! Hope you are still writing on it. I see it has been a while since you have updated it. Are you still working on it? Hope all is well!
adellameeka chapter 12 . 2/26/2011
I hope you update soon, I really enjoy your OFC an her interactions with Sev.
excessivelyperky chapter 12 . 9/12/2010
I vote for the bizarre Quidditch accident. Perhaps Ron Weasley's new wand will backfire while Draco is chasing the Snitch too near the Quaffle? Just sayin'.

I do hope Professor Hawkins feels free to have fun with Draco in DADA, though.
ThatGirlWithThatSmile chapter 12 . 4/7/2010
Hey, Just letting you know I love the fic so far, only hope the writing continues! As for the lack of lemony goodness, don't worry too much, you have far too many fans for them to cop out because your havnt written enough smut. We shall keep reading :)
AisLOST chapter 12 . 4/4/2010
Very nice story. I really like the flashbacks, they give a lot of insight on the story and the relationship Severus and Callista have.I can't wait to see what's going to happen.. Well, I have certain hopes, but Severus and Callista seem to dislike each other right know, so that might take a while..

So, I hope you'll update soon!
Lady Vyxen chapter 1 . 2/10/2010
I must say that this was excellent start for a story. I haven't read the previous version of your fic, but this one seems to be quite flawless. However you should read the posted chapter yourself - there were tiny mistakes, for example the italics gone bad and there was "i" visible. I also found thoughts written without italics or in 'this-I forgot how it's called' a bit confusing. Maybe the fact that I'm not a native speaker adds to it, but I thought that a sincere opinion about the general impression would please you.

I find your Snape very much in canon and I share you view that he was a great man but had his faults.
Jenea chapter 11 . 12/14/2009
Just read through you story. Very nicely written and thought out. I love the struggle and the fun banter between Severus and Callista.

I do hope you plan on updating soon. I know its been a while and the Holidays are upon us... but it would be most appreciated.

Thank you for your wonderful story.

Herbologist chapter 11 . 10/27/2009
So far so good. I look forward to the next update and hope that the pace will pick up.
Herbologist chapter 1 . 10/27/2009
I very much like the first chapter. I love how Severus and Dumbledore communicate via chocolate frog cards.

I don't like sickly-sweet Severus characterisations, so hopefully this one will be good!
KultaSnape chapter 11 . 10/16/2009
Awesome story, keep posting please.
pixie chapter 11 . 9/27/2009
ya know ya might get more reviews if you'd write some sex scenes already. ur summary mentioned lemmons and there haven't been any. this is gettin really borring srsly.
Mystical G Panther chapter 11 . 9/25/2009
Amazing story so far, really really enjoyed reading the last few chapters. The interaction between Severus and Callista is very well done! Update really soon!

-Mystical Panther
excessivelyperky chapter 9 . 8/18/2009
Of _course_ Dumbledore never, ever undercuts Snape with the other students. Oh, no-well, except through all of canon. And then Snape has to be even harsher to get them to listen to him, which results in more undercutting...but of course it's never Dumbledore's fault. And clearly, Albus did all he could to break them up last time, and is likely doing his best to make sure they hate each other this time, too.

I just hope that Harry gives Callista at least half of the cheek and trouble that he's given Snape in canon. After all, we all know how hard Harry actually worked at Occlumency. And we all know how little he'll work for Snape at his other tasks.

But as we know, Dumbles doesn't really want Harry to be able to defend himself, for the Greater Good. One wonders if Snape and Callista will ever figure this out in time.

Good chapter.
312 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »