|Reviews for Seven|
| Un83ata813 chapter 5 . 3/5/2015
are you not going to finish this story?
| xyzisme chapter 5 . 8/16/2008
Good story - although the beginning doesn't relate to the end yet I'm sure it will. I can't imagine Kim and Ron seriously fighting but if that's the way you want to take it, sure. At least they ended the way I would expect.
Update soon! It's been three years...
| Final-Fan chapter 5 . 9/16/2007
G-Go sends me here, and what do I find? A wonderful story, and LIES!
"Cheers, and as I said, chapter six should be up inside a business week."
I hope you're okay.
| HecatonchiresLM chapter 5 . 7/28/2007
Really good fight scene - I could picture them battling back and forth, then down the hall into the gym. I wonder how much the hall surveillance footage would be worth on the school market _
| Sir Sebastian chapter 5 . 2/24/2007
I liked the ending to the fight. I have to admit, I too was expecting (more like hoping) the fight to end in a make out session.
You certainly do paint a picture. I was pleased to see you tightened up your writing a bit.
I was hesitant leave any reviews since you seem to have dropped from the face of the earth. But I would very much like to see you bring this riveting tale to an end.
| Sir Sebastian chapter 2 . 2/24/2007
You're definitely a talented writer, but might want to cut back on the 'descriptiveness' of your text when the situation doesn't call for it. That was a lot of text for just Ron picking up Kim and walking to school. At least I thought it was. Though G-Go did describe your writing as descriptive prose, so maybe it just goes with the territory.
The first chapter was awesome. The intense situation benefited greatly from the vivid imagery your writing conveyed.
| The Wise Duck chapter 5 . 1/4/2007
I don’t know where you’ve disappeared to so I’m hoping that there’s not a problem. If there is, I hope it gets better. All I can say is . . .
Finish this thing!
Excellent, excellent, excellent (and I usually don’t say that about unfinished works). Yes, things are a little over descriptive at times but you’ve got the interaction between characters down pat and who cares about a retread plot, you’ve presented it in a way that reaches out and GRABS you.
Hope to see more of this.
The Wise Duck
| Rye-bread chapter 1 . 4/19/2006
I'm a glacially slow writer, too. G-Go endorsed you, so here I am. You have a Raymond Chandler sound to your writing. Detailed fight scene-I'm envious.
I'm also hooked-will Ron prevent Kim's death? We're watching-but take your time-do it right-let the muse weave her (His?) spell.
| Otritzi chapter 5 . 12/31/2005
Can't say I haven't seen Kim and Ron fighting before...although in my head Ron and Kim fight at an almost even level...Kim's expertise and Ron's Mystical powers and prowess balancing out perfectly. I do like how you ended the fight though, an absurd finish to a pointless scuffle.
Please do keep the chapters coming for this fic.
| CajunBear73 chapter 5 . 12/7/2005
Wild fight. Something FINALLY starting to come together about those two? Please continue when you are able to. CB73
| Orider chapter 5 . 8/6/2005
i have been waiting paitiently, but i'm not sure i can wait much longer. please, hurry up and update
| Salimoo chapter 5 . 7/29/2005
This has been a good story so far. I am enjoying it a lot. I especially enjoyed chapter 5 with the huge battle between Kim and Ron. I can't believe that they were pushed far enough to fight. But in the end, all is well. I look forward to the next chapter which seems to be behind schedule... Anyways, keep up the good work and update soon! :D
| JMAN2.0 chapter 5 . 7/18/2005
Awsome chapter, Kim and Ron fighting each other was interseting. But having Ron being able to stand so long against KP int the fight was badical. I also totaly get how, even though they were realy pissed off at each other and were praticly trying to do harm to each other, they could be back to being friends like that. It was just a way to blow of steam quickly, instead of having them mad at each other for a week or more. keep up the good work, this it may favoret chapter, I was laughing so hard at this chapter. It is good.
| Jezrianna2.0 chapter 5 . 6/30/2005
Ok, the fight sequences were well described. Maybe too well. My personal feeling is that the more detailed the description is, the less real the fight seems. There were a couple of other things that didn't quite work for me either, and they both have to do with the fight as written. You've spent a lot of time setting this up as a real world: when Ron falls down, he gets hurt. He bleeds. You also set it up that Kim and Ron are mad at each other. Shortly after the fight begins, you state explicitly and repeatedly that they aren't holding back: "That kick hadn’t been sparring strength, either." "...the combat devolved into a vicious melee. The gloves had definitely come off, and both teens ramped up the intensity of their attacks." Also, neither Kim nor Ron is wearing protective gear of any kind: no mouth guards, no padded helmets, no nothing. They punch and kick each other, in the head, in the face, in the jaw, in the chest, as hard as they can. So where are the broken noses, the knocked out teeth, the cracked jaws, the splintered ribs? So how did that fight last as long as it did? Why weren't they hurt more? It came across to me as a 'movie fight': lively and visually exciting, but hard to believe, because movie fights are fake, and this was supposed (from my impression of the way you set things up) to be real. A real fight would have been over much faster than this one was. An exception to the rule can be found in the first pages of Chapter 11 of 'Starship Troopers', but only because the participants "...had agreed to avoid inflicting permanent damage..." and had gone into the fight in a calm mood. I also have a hard time buying the mood change at the end. They go from "We were just trying our best to beat the snot out of each other, but now we're all lovey-dovey" which is more than a little hard to swallow: it's too soap-opera-y. A better way to have gone, I think, would have been for Ron to tell Kim he'd come to apologize, but that she didn't seem to be in the mood for one. Kim could have agreed, saying she didn't want an apology, she wanted to hit something. Ron could have said "Suits me." and they could have had a nice, long, vigorous sparring match with proper safety equipment. Same overall result (anger vented, damage done, energy spent, lying gasping on the floor laughing at themselves) but much more plausible from an emotional point of view, I think. Sorry to run on like that. You're a good writer, but this chpater just didn't work for me after the setting up you'd done previously.
| Jezrianna2.0 chapter 4 . 6/30/2005
Well, you're certainly good at eliciting emotional responses from your readers. I'm totally feeling for both Ron and Kim. I have to say though, that the little blow up at the end seemed a little forced. Not much, and I know from the reviews (read them first) what's coming, so maybe I'm reading more into it than I should be, but it still seemed a touch contrived and/or soap opera-y. I'm not sure how you could fix it, though, except maybe make it a bit longer, or perhaps add some references to how, even though they are best friends, they still have arguments.