|Reviews for Harry Potter and the Scrivenings of Slytherin|
| MonokromeSpektrum chapter 41 . 1/8/2012
This story deserves far more reviews than it has gotten in the six-ish years it has been on this site. Honestly, right now, I can't really put my feelings for this story into words, mostly because I just spent three days - and multiple late nights - reading through the entire thing. I love the flow of it, the plot, the characterization, everything. And you most definitely deserve a much longer and more extensive review than what's spewing from my keyboard. All I can say is that this fanfic is near the top of one of the best ones I have read (and finished) and I hope against hope that you plan on writing a sequel. The ending leaves much opportunity to continue, and I hope that is your intention, because you have an amazing gift for storytelling.
Now, as I have always felt that complements are worthless without at least a bit of criticism for improvement:
I noticed that you have a tendency to forget a period after titles like "Mrs." You also end quotes with a period when they should be punctuated with a comma. ' "I will," she said.' as opposed to ' "I will." she said '. Just a couple nitpicks, but they do nothing to detract from the story. :)
I look forward eagerly to the next installment of the series. Thank you!
| Estralde chapter 41 . 1/4/2012
Rather good, old chap.
Chip Chip cheerio, etc.
That said, I've alerted your story in order to see any notations for a sequel being posted. PLEASE post one, or if you decide to be cruel, at least inform us who the typewriter is.
For some reason I want it to be wormtail.
| sachi1325 chapter 41 . 12/22/2011
The storyline was awesome and the descriptions of the battles was marvellous :). dying to know the identity of the note writer. i really hope u write the seventh year fic.
| duskglow chapter 41 . 12/17/2011
This was a pretty good story. It takes a good story to get me to read through 400,000 words. The argument could be made that it was too long.
This wasn't a great story, mostly because of the ending. It was entirely unsatisfactory. Usually, even if there's a sequel coming, there's at least *some* closing off of plot points. What plot points were closed off here? And do we have to wait another 400,000 words to find out?
| Thornclaw18 chapter 14 . 12/6/2011
Well, so far, I'm enjoying your plot twists. The new DADA teacher's pretty cool, but your Harry's a blooming idiot. I know, I know, he's been through a lot, but honestly? You've given him worse mood swings than I've seen in nearly any fanfiction. Like everything else, and I'm looking forward to how it all works out.
| Sailor Pandabear chapter 41 . 12/4/2011
| mudbloodpotter05 chapter 41 . 12/2/2011
Hope to see a seventh year story!
| Marsupial Madness chapter 36 . 11/28/2011
AHAH! I KNEW IT! (For those who haven't read this far, I won't say exactly what I knew, but I had to tell someone...) I KNEW IT! I KNEW THAT MAN'S SECRET FROM THE START!
(Ah, sorry, I got a little excited. Triumphant, if you must)
And don't worry, Author person, it was a very good secret and very well hidden. I'm just a little quick :D
Loving the story, and I'm staying up late to finish it. I actually might find myself reading it again in the near future :D
| Marsupial Madness chapter 32 . 11/28/2011
I can't tell you enough how impressed I am with your story. I simply cannot get enough! The fight was awesome and I love how your storyline is coming together. I'm sure I will have a feeling of loss when I've read the end.
| TheFirstTry chapter 41 . 11/28/2011
Just finished the story, really an interesting read far better than the average piece, but still had potential for so much more. Just like I stated in my previous review, super!Harry (yes, this is super!Harry: Occlumency strong enough to stall 'the strongest Legilimens alive', wandless, silent magic, being able to duel Voldemort for an extended period of time after going through the whole troubling day before shielding AK, uber-patronus, basically solving everything alone, shooting unforgivables like nothing - you even state how hard all these spells and skills should be to get, but your Harry manages all of them during a single year) makes for a pretty boring, predictable read plot-wise.
Other characters seem to exist only to be saved by Harry and have little impact otherwise (with the exceptions of an omniscient Dumbledore - and Aravenne, who is simply brilliant, good ideas with the arenas, abramites, the whole magic theory and his true persona). I guess you could cut any other character out of the story completely without having to adjust the plot all too much. On the other hand, you managed to avoid having minor characters fall too much OOC, with the exception of perhaps Neville during the train station incident.
Harry himself barely develops as a character. He's a little emo at the start, but shakes it off almost completely during a single chapter. He isn't even really bothered by killing people later on - though I don't quite understand why using the Killing Curse bothers him. At least, in contrast to your Burning-Scything-Curse, it seems pretty painless. The only thing able to shake him afterwards is his "romance" with Ginny - and as you admitted in your A/N, romance totally isn't your strong point, it's pretty forced. Your R/Hr, on the other hand, is well done, with the lock-heart and everything - a touch of humour without too much relevance for your plot. (Trying not to spoiler, but what you did to Hermione was plain mean - I liked it a lot!)
Your story shines whenever lots of action are involved - both fight scenes and Quidditch matches are creative, detailed and very entertaining to read (unless you make Harry save Ginny for the umpteenth time - the "Dean-shoots-Ginny" thing comes to mind, which didn't make much sense at all). These scenes alone make your piece a very worthy read and make me interested in a follow-up piece, or basically any other works.
The whole Lore around the Scrivenings, old magic and Parseltongue is very interesting and leaves lots of room for development should you decide on a sequel - as does the fact that your Harry may or may not teeter along the edge of becoming really Dark. He already isn't really bothered by killing people if it's 'for the greater good', powerful enough to be close to unstoppable and has quite the reputation; watching your Harry turn Dark seems to be a logical consequence.
Hope this review doesn't seem overly critical. I rarely comment on this site, even more rarely do so twice in a single fiction. I really, really enjoyed the Scrivenings of Slytherin (actually finished it in two days) and hope for a sequel - maybe with a little less power on Harry and more reliance on his 'sidekicks'.
| Marsupial Madness chapter 20 . 11/27/2011
I have to say, I fell in love with this story. Because it is delightfully long, I have been reading it the passed few days and I cannot get enough! I love your writing style and your sense of humor leaves me cracking up for minutes. I meant to review the last chapter, but I kind of forgot because I wanted to know what came next. This part (and continued) had me laughing for a long time:
"Harry." Myrtle said slightly breathlessly, as he approached the hole. "What I said, last time… I still mean it, you know?"
Harry's mouth opened, but he couldn't find any words for a few seconds. "Er. Thanks Myrtle," he said finally, before turning to Dumbledore. "Oh. Sir, it's likely to get very messy down here."
"Which you naturally forgot to inform Professor Snape of." Dumbledore said with just a hint of reproach. "Still, at least the two of us need not worry. Altecutis."
Ahaha poor Harry, and poor Snape. I personally would be horrified if a ghost offered to share his/her toilet with me... And the look I imagined on Snape's face was priceless :D
I love the way you portray the characters... they are absolutely perfect! Thank you for writing this story! I can't wait to read more.
| MerleHollyKitKat chapter 24 . 11/27/2011
Read a couple of other recent reviews and can't understand where they're coming from so having a break to put one in myself. It's a fantastic story with characters in canon who are 3 dimensional. It's not superficial and has a lot more to it than just action so maybe it depends what you're looking for. This story is full of depth and brilliantly written. I think it's getting better and better and when I've posted this I'm getting back to reading!
| TheFirstTry chapter 16 . 11/27/2011
A well written, enjoyable read with, up to this chapter, very few problems. Harry is, in my opinion, a pretty enjoyable character with mostly understandable problems. (A little to full of self-pity, in my opinion, but it's hard to judge an emotional situation i've never found myself in; and the power you gave him at the Ministry seems over the top, even if it was mostly 'accidental'). I liked how Ron exploded on Harry about the Quidditch Captain thing - it's not like Harry, in books 1-5, ever showed real interest in both Ron's and Hermione's problems.
Yet, this chapter seems way too forced. Not only do you make your Harry repeat the exact same mistake he commited when Sirius died - rushing into a situation without either having a plan on how to act and checking the facts before, endangering all his allies by his behaviour, and let him go all self-sacrificial even though he should know better (prophecy), but you make him practically immortal in the process (splinching himself in half, yet surviving a deadly curse due to some kind of shield).
And not only doesn't he really pay a price for his mistake, he gets basically all his problems solved (Dream sequence takes away the blame for Sirius' death, Dumbledore sorts out his confidence problems with the prophecy talk and you set him up to get the girl if you plan to).
I'm really tempted to stop reading right at this point, but I'm kinda interested in how you continue your story, as I'm not even halfway through. Maybe my judgement on how Harry is going to react to the new information he got through Sirius/Dumbledore is a little premature, but it would fit your current character development.
| Guest chapter 41 . 11/26/2011
I had the story in my check list because I liked the beginning as far as I remember. Also the adventure side was interesting as there aren't to many stories these days covering that genre. BUT after reading the last chapters I must confess I'm really disappointed. The constant whining and talking nonsense during a duel or in a dangerous situation were unrealistic which seriously hurt any fighting. Your environment description was unsharp too where at least I got the impression you didn't really think where people were exactly during an action. The fight at the train station just didn't work for me. Or that Percy Weasley suddenly popped out of the blue to rob the book. All that stuff felt so contrived plot driven. The fight between Harry and Voldemort didn't feel real either. They need tension and speed, here everything felt slow because you tried some emo drama. I know it's an old story history wise but to be blunt, even the latest chapters felt far too outdated for today's plot/magic/duel/character interaction standards. It didn't age well. I know this sounds quite negative and though I appreciate that you finished this, as not everybody managed that with his work, I hope the critic at least helps you for your future stories.
| Altaire chapter 1 . 11/25/2011
I'm just gonna throw this out there, its really good to see you've updated this. I was worried you had just gotten tired of writing it, and whatever was wrong, I'm glad its better. For purely selfish story-reading reasons, of course P