Reviews for The Track of a Storm |
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![]() ![]() Wait, will we see more of Flint? Is there a reason for him to defend Dumbledore even though he's a Slytherin compared to a troll in the books? Also obviously this isn't going to change anything but I find the neighbors to be very confusing. Their accents are hard to understand and it's a large group all at once that's hard to differentiate. Are they muggles or magic? Why are they not more freaked out by a supposedly dead man showing up? |
![]() ![]() ![]() Loved it! One of the best I have ever read. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Rather strange time zone where most stars are expected to have disappeared from the sky as early as 3 AM. Even during British Summer Time in June, no place in Britain is so far northeast of Greenwich that sunrise is at 3 AM. On April 30, 1987 in Cardiff, Wales (presumably not too far from Godric's Hollow) the sun rose at 5:48 AM and civil twilight was at 5:10 AM. The conditions you describe would have had to have been about 5:15-5:30 AM. Check sunrisesunset dot com for sunrise at specific dates and places. |
![]() ![]() ![]() There are several Floo connections to Hogwarts. Lucius needs to specify which one. Camros - an organic eatery in Toronto; also the Welsh spelling of a town in Wales, means "crooked or "broken moor". Camros Potion violates one of the restrictions of magic in the Harry Potter Universe, but I'm sure you don't care. I take it that James is raised as well, but how does he share blood with Voldemort? Oh, right. He tasted James' blood after he killed him. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Elecebra? With all the canon spells available you choose an incantation that a websearch shows is the name of a scat-eating porn star? (No, I didn't look at such disgusting stuff.) Discutissium? Completely meaningless, but sounds about as dangerous as a discussion or symposium about tissue. James specialty is transfiguration. I recommend that in any duel he makes conspicuous use of transfiguration. See McGonagall's and Dumbledore's duels for inspiration. There really needs to be a reason (e.g. multiple Death Eaters) why Lily runs upstairs with Harry instead of out the back door. James' work is futile if she doesn't try to get out of the house. James and Lily are experienced Order fighters. They know that Apparition and Portkeys are likely to be warded against by Voldemort even before he enters the house. It makes no sense for her to run to the upstairs nursery if it's a known dead end. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I love your story. It's so emotionally charged. I'm literately crying right now. Me a stone cold person crying over a fanfic. I haven't been like this since that story where Harry was raised by the dark lord and in the scene when Harry found Voldemort kept a pebble that was given to him years ago. I most likely didn't explain that well but you get what I mean. I love this story. I hope we get some Hogwarts adventures with Harry in this. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Update more chapters about this story,because it's the best,extra and the great story that I was reading about it,and I am also starting to love and to like reading to this story. So can you please write more chapters,because I want to know what happens in the next chapters about it. THANKS SO MUCH FOR WRITTEN TO THIS STORY,thanks so much about it.&&&£££%%%$$$ |
![]() ![]() OH MY GOD I CRIED AT THE FIRST CHAPTER WHEN JAMES DIED THIS IS REALLY WELL WRITTEN AND JAMES BABY! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hey there! I know I'm a little late to the game here, but do you have another link for the revised version of this story? I haven't been able to track it down anywhere. I enjoyed reading this one and I'd like to take a look at the newer one! |
![]() ![]() This has is becoming increasingly boring to read. Endless dialogue, some I fear don't even matter. Plus James is purely idiotic. Esp for believing him about Harry. James literally remembers that night like it was yesterday. He knows the severity of Voldemort. He was a bloody witness at the crime scene. HE KNOWS why Voldemort is after them. HE KNOWS Voldemort was going to murder Harry. Even if he didn't know any of that. Believing an enemy? Downright stupid on his part. I understand you want to go in that direction, and I respect you for that. My concern is that that isn't a strong enough way to make that believable. The thing with Harry Potter fanfics is that you have so many things at your disposal that would make for a stronger story. One incredible thing is magic. Why resort to cheap, muggle, torture (and yes, it is a branch of mental torture to make someone believe in the enemy beliefs by preying on their weaknesses (James Harry/Family)) tricks, when there is so many other forms of magic that could easily suffice (and dare I say it, better?). For one thing: alternative memories and thought deposition. By using magic, they are able to make James earnestly believe Harry has joined Voldemort. Pensive memories can be manipulated. Voldemort could easily offer James "proof" that Harry is his apprentice by either showing a manipulated memory of the night of Oct 31 1981 or show a completely fake memory of an young Harry being educated. |
![]() ![]() Tbh I didn't even read the accents on a account of I can't even understand them. I did read the part about him knowing "Mista' James" |
![]() ![]() ![]() I LOVED this! Terrific job! Can't wait to read the new version :D |
![]() ![]() ![]() Read this in high school, and came across it again. A memorable piece. Thanks for writing. -t. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I love it! There aren't enough stories like this out there! Thank you so much for finding the time to write this |
![]() ![]() ![]() ;-; I require advice on how to stop the endless stream of water from my eyes. But this story was nothing short of amazing, I could FEEL James' heroic determination, his Gryffindor heart, his loyalty to his family and brothers. It was all so so heart wrenching. "Pahfoo." LITTLE BABY HARRY SO INNOCENT SO FUNNY WHY VOLDEMOT CURSE YOU |