|Reviews for Doom courses|
| Akili-chan chapter 1 . 1/26/2007
Wow, this is a pretty long story, and you still haven't really finished it (or did you leave us kinda hanging at the end in order to have us wait for another story? lol) Good job on that, most people don't maage to get past 10 words or 3 chapters and you've managed to get past both. You also have a pretty good idea for this, someone that Alex knows joining the bad guys. And Blaze doesn't seem to Mary-Sueish for the fandom (seeing as we have cyborg mad doctors and people that are part plant) though she manages to live though a lot of stuff (like being thrown from a airship, but again, you didn't say how far in the air the aipship was, so for all we know she could have fallen 50 to 500 feet.
However, you need to show more and tell less. Such as tell what people are doing, just not have them talking to each other. In a couple of parts you do the showing pretty well but in the rest all it seems to be is talk. Also, at times you seem to change tenses on words, though not as bad as some of your older fics that I saw.
Thank you for helping keep this part alive, hope you write some more _