|Reviews for Battle for Mobius|
| allythehedgehog chapter 15 . 6/13/2014
You should make a sequel about the shadamy child
| Alicia the wolf chapter 15 . 9/18/2012
Um no comment but I loved it
| Twilight The Wolf chapter 13 . 6/3/2011
I cried when I read this! This reminds me of my aunt! She died of lung cancer at 45, I was 7! Me and her were really close!
| Twilight The Wolf chapter 10 . 6/3/2011
Nice story! But you spelled Vector Wrong! Heh!
| Twilight The Wolf chapter 7 . 6/3/2011
I know! I hate Sonic so damn much! *grabs him by the neck and strangles him* WHY? Ahem! Ok I'm good!
| Twilight The Wolf chapter 5 . 6/2/2011
I laughed so hard halfway through this! Lol! XD
| fireworkmage chapter 1 . 5/18/2006
'kay the firs tpat was understandin' but the rest was a bit confusein' i was think' wat the hell...anyway dont stop keep goin.
| Koneko Onee-chan chapter 15 . 5/18/2006
Omg, that was such an awesome story! ShadAmy forever! Hehe. Can't wait to read your next story, I bet it's just as great as this ;]
| JudasFm chapter 15 . 5/18/2006
Nice finish to it (third party...ooh, does that mean what I think it means? :P) There's not a great deal I can add, except one more little nitpick:
When a character finishes speaking, if you're describing how that character speaks you finish their speech with a comma, not a full stop.
*reads* Hm. Doesn't make much sense. Lemme try this:
“We’ll have to kill him then he’ll have no choice but to quit.” Stated Espio.
would be better if it was written:
“We’ll have to kill him then he’ll have no choice but to quit,” stated Espio.
(I love that line btw; it's probably my favourite in the whole story!)
Anyway, keep writing!
| WontonBagel chapter 15 . 5/17/2006
| shaddiesgirl chapter 13 . 5/11/2006
Please update soon!
| Koneko Onee-chan chapter 14 . 5/11/2006
Woo! That chapter was awesome! Hurrah for Shadow! Just in the nick of time, as always ;]
Your spelling and grammar was perfect! You're such an awesome writer, and I love this story so much! Update soon ;]
| JudasFm chapter 14 . 5/11/2006
Interesting idea so far; it had a few twists in it which kept me reading ;) Let's see...
Spelling and basic grammar are both excellent; a real rarity here. It's so nice to read a story and not have to work my way through sentences like 'amy sed "sonic ur teh best" "i no" sonic ansered'.
I'm not keen on the whole Sonic bashing/evil Sonic theme, mainly because I have a very hard time imagining the hedgehog being so two-faced, but for all that it was still well written :P
Other than that, your characterisation is pretty good. The only thing I did have trouble believing was Eggman's comment about "I'm no longer Sonic's nemesis! My life is over!" (or words to that effect) and then running away. Then again, it could have been part of his master plan and he's just a lousy actor :P One thing I will say (it's sort of related) is to try and avoid writing stage directions in speech. In fairness you only did it once, but it jars when you're reading. Example: when Knuckles says, "Sigh, okay." It would have read a lot smoother if you'd written it as, 'Knuckles sighed. "Okay."'
My biggest criticism would be on the smaller things, if that makes sense. You use 'your' a lot as the abbreviation for 'you are' when it should be 'you're' (a lot of people make that mistake; your coming too should be written as you're coming too) and you also make slight mistakes in the choice of words (Amy saying, "I should never have got evolved" instead of "involved"...I presume ;))
This probably sounds like a lot...in a way it is, but a lot of very minor things ;) I think you could have potential as a writer - you've mastered ninety five percent of the grammar and almost a hundred percent on the spelling, which a lot of people on here seem to have trouble with - you just need to hone and refine your skills in order to hit 'excellent' rather than 'very good' ;)
I'm putting this on my alert list mainly because (as I understand the footnotes at the end) there's only one more chapter after this and having read this far I'd like to know what happens next :P C2 community...sure, why not? You're in :D
| WontonBagel chapter 14 . 5/10/2006
Please keep going!
| WontonBagel chapter 13 . 5/8/2006
Please keep going!