Reviews for Kagayaku Means to Shine
Cunning Linguist chapter 30 . 10/6/2012
Well, that was certainly interesting. Always cool to see work on a story eight years in the making (last fiddled-with in August, if my eyes don't deceive).

You're not bad. Much of the romaji is a bit out of place; I'm sure you're advanced enough by now to understand the interpretive role of the translator so I won't belabour that point. You're mechanically solid, you've a good grasp of literary technique, and your diction is a cut above most.

However, I can feel your struggle as you wrestle with what you've created. I don't know what story you're trying to tell anymore. Do you? For perspective, consider that at first it was "The Duelist Family Raises Kids". Then you made some pretty ballsy shifts and you started losing cohesion. I think part of the problem is you've spent a bit too much time on the interactions of the Ootori student council. I understand and appreciate the parallels you're working on, but this has taken all the development time away from the main characters. In fact, it's almost an inversion of Utena in that sense: the focus is on the council viewed through 2ko's third-person rather than Utena from the gaze of others. Perhaps this is intentional?

In any event, I wish you the best of luck; I personally find original characters are harder than borrowed characters because you need to nurture their growth carefully. Without source material to review, they can grow out of control. I wonder, did you have an editor at any point on this? Not just a "beta reader", but an honest-to-goodness editor. If you've still no such contact, I highly recommend seeking one out.
VTR chapter 30 . 10/2/2011
o.o Will it ever be updated again?

Hehe, I just read all of it, I enjoyed it mostly. I found the story because I was wondering about Utena being pregnant with Akio and googled it to see if anyone else made one :P Enjoyed the fluffy family-ness owo
Mala-Inactive chapter 30 . 7/21/2009
I just read through all of the chapters today and *wow* this story is EPIC. The fluff was nice (but it's a little strange that all of the former duelistsKozue came to live in the Tenjou-Himemiya house) and the current drama has my head going into overdrive. The Shadow Girls were a nice plus too (after Wakaba, C-ko is my favorite character).

I hope you'll have the time to update soon.

-Malacoda
sharnii chapter 4 . 4/26/2009
Re-reading part of this story, and I do think that it is much better in the beginning. I particularly like this chapter - the way you describe Anthy thinking about leaving Ohtori is quite masterful.

My fave bit in terms of the writing style and characterization:

* * *

"Suddenly she looked up and realized that her feet had brought her to her room. She stared at the door contemplatively for a moment. Bedrooms were usually considered to be private places, belonging only to the people who lived there. Anshii had no such beliefs. Everything in this school, every single stone in every wall, every room and all the people, too, they all belonged to her brother. And mostly, she thought, they were happy enough to remain that way because they didn’t know any better. The sheep.

Anshii didn’t like most of the students very much. They were tools like her, but too stupid and self-centered to know it.

She reached for the doorknob, then stopped, staring at her hand as if she’d never seen it before. She turned her hand over, flexing it experimentally, then in wonder. It was her hand, her limb. If she told it to reach out and turn the knob, it would do so. If she told it to . . . to . . .

To stab Utena in the back."

* * *

M nicely put.
Anthiena chapter 30 . 4/9/2009
Beautiful chapter. I'm just happy you updated. _
James Birdsong chapter 30 . 3/20/2009
Good though *hugs author*
James Birdsong chapter 29 . 3/20/2009
Wow
Michele Bishop chapter 9 . 1/10/2009
Can I tell you how much I am enjoying this read. You see you have people lke me who are just discovering Utena. I bought everything just a month or two ago. Please don't take it to heart there are people like me who are 42 years old and don't write and I feel I really don't have the right to review this. I write songs and recorded my 3rd CD in Nashville. Al we can say is that ( the people who are reading these for just pure pleasure) Like me. I can write that in a couple seconds with broadband but there are alot of people who at the end of the read tell you How much I hated so much that she(Utena) gave in to him. and gor pregnant. Anthy gets her top all wet from the pan, andI'm happy so thank you so much for filling my nights alone. PLease don't ever stop you guys ( authors) that includes women especially. This has been a wonderful crazy BUT I"LL NEVER STOP LOOKING FOR MORE moment

There are fics that I would love to read but people are taking there websites down. I feel as though I missed alot of these stories BOO HOO. Thank you brave author! Are you in Japan? cause it's relevant to tell you guys that I was speaking to some of the " Voice over" Japanese girls who told me " THERE IS NOT ONE LESBIAN IN JAPAN( can you beleive that yeh right. They told me that Japanese woman must have man cause it is only way to God " I about really fell out of my chair laughing. I was planning my vacation there this year but I'm not go there if I can't be with nice Japanese ladies. geesh! They have no clue ! Thanks fir listening hah ha Oh I love the story sweetie its FAB_U-LOUS! i am crazy over this stuff. I have to see a shrink in my mind they are real. I have actually had to remind my self alot. AND THATS GREAT WRITING & acting.

Michele Bishop
sharnii chapter 29 . 8/20/2008
Well I've read it all (which took a while!), and it's well-written but doesn't do it for me soz. :'(

I think it's because it's a slow-paced fluff-fest for most of it, which is fine and all, but I can't stomach too much fluff! :O

And after that it turns into a "twins" fic, which is no longer really U/A focused. In fact the twins-focus is pretty huge throughout.

The Japanese content is very interesting though. But I find everybody living in the one home for not very good explanations pretty OOC, as I did Kozue and Juri. There wasn't enough explanation for them actually getting together when they first do. However Utena and Anthy have pretty good "voices".

So all in all a good job, and a treat for those readers who are into mega-fluff. Because this is the longest most fluffy piece of Utena that I have come across so far!
no-blood-in-my-veins chapter 29 . 8/4/2008
Boy, you certainly didn't waste any time in jumping straight in the angst-fest that dominated the last part of RGU. Not that I mind. So, writers block? Ne, my sister gets that too. As for what I would like to see: how about the former duelists trying to rescue Shi-chan? It's kind of like they dropped off the face of the earth. I mean, Akio isn't that subtle, is he?
James Birdsong chapter 28 . 6/25/2008
Hoorah I guess writer.

Good luck and stuff.

You are doing well.
Dauthi chapter 1 . 6/14/2008
I really enjoyed this chapter. The beginning segment detailing Utena's fall from grace and the second segment, where Anshii finally makes her way to Utena's apartment, only to find her pregnant, are brilliant. After that it felt like it moved too quickly. Anshii breaking down, and then Utena breaking down, and then their love confessions, and then Utena's water breaking. I think part of it stems from the fact that I have a notion of a traditional story in my head, where love doesn't suddenly burst out of nowhere in the first chapter, but this is clearly post-series fanfiction we're talking about, and that in light of the end of the series it would make perfect sense for Anshii to seek Utena out just to make her confession. Utena's water breaking suddenly is actually a wicked fast plot progression though. Oh well.

A few lines were hilarious and completely in-character. For example, I snickered when Anshii thought, "Utena was pregnant. One didn't generally get that way all alone." And it was something I could TOTALLY imagine Anshii thinking/saying.
Chocolatt chapter 28 . 6/8/2008
The fluff was too sweet at the very beginning, but it got better and better. Sometimes I would think of it during math class as a distraction, and a goofy grin would appear on my face no matter how hard I tried to restrain myself. I'm a sucker for good fluff... The dialect between the characters is charming, too. I miss the old cast, Shiichan's family, but I'm excited to see how Shiichan's Oohtori experience will conclude.

*tshhk* "I" *tsshk* "am" *tshhk* "YOUR FATHER!" *cackle*

"... wtf NO!"

lol
Anthiena chapter 28 . 5/22/2008
I had passed up this story before, my mistake. I read through the whole thing in one take and I love it. The whole Ohtori part seems like a dream, ready to awaken. I love that each of the new student council members are unique, even to their position. The artist isn't the secretary for one... however, you seem to be rushing yourself through-some of the chapters seem jumbled and hard to make sense of it. In a sense, it adds to the surrealness of this story. However, it also makes it confusing at times.
spritznar chapter 27 . 2/22/2008
this is one of the best utena fanfics i've ever read. and definitely the best of any decent length.

i can't wait to see what happens next!
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