hm, it's too early in the fic to be able to think of anything lacking just yet... but it is pretty good so far. I'll have to wait and see

That was a good start!

Keep up the good work and I hope Harry pairs with Cho and Blaise(female).

I'm sorry to say this, but more than half your chapter was a total waste. No offence, really, but you just copied Harry's meeting with Dumbledore - and its not like we *havent* read that part before.

I might even go so far as to say that many readers probably assumed that their meeting took the entier chapter, and chose to go read another story. I know i did, until i scrolled down and saw a bit of something else. So by pure luck, i now think you copied 60% of the chapter, instead of my earlier thoughts of you copying 100%.

The word structure could come across a little smoother. Was not sure how Harry was supposed to come across as like, indifferent, annoyed, or badass.

Well As much as you got there that was different,

I liked. But I think I need another chapter to really tell.

don't be late on updates

interesting update soon

I think that you have made a good start. I do home that you continue with it.

dave