|Reviews for My Happy Ending|
| Marauders Twilight chapter 18 . 3/27/2009
I really Liked it! You did an awesome job writing it.
| cilverblood chapter 1 . 6/24/2007
So. We used to be friends via the internet and I thought about you today, for some odd reason, while I was washing dishes. Maybe it's because the company that manufactured the dish I was washing was called 'aks inc' or maybe it's because i re-read 'snogwarts: a parody' by oy_angelina for the first time in a long time.
I had always been afraid to give decent, honest reviews of your story. I know you always expected the typical OMGurSEWamazin!1 and so that's what I gave out. I know you always brushed off the really hardcore, indepth, helpful reviews that mostly came in the shape of flames and snotty remarks, but I feel like, if our friendship meant anything, i owe you this much. I owe you an honest, in-depth review of how your stories, your skills, and your writing ability are to me and have always been.
I don't intend for this review to be harsh or for it to be pointless. It's bluntness is the result of years of supressed opinion and the anxiety that comes with lying to your friends. Well, I'm turning a new leaf and it starts here:
Your characters are ridiculously Mary-Sue and Marty-Stu-like. They have no originality. They have no depth and their 'pairing up with everyone in MWPP' is completely overdone. Your masquerade ball theme was poorly executed. Because it's been done so many times, it can only be written by a patient, extremely talented, seasoned writer who understands her faults. You, at that time, did not possess these qualities.
Their friendship with Lily is also ludacris. If April was SO close to Lily, why did she disappear afterwards? JKR has stated in so many issues that Harry is god-motherless and you've defied canon, which, would be okay, if it didn't come off so 12-year-old-fantasy-like.
Your writing lacks thought. You write as a 'here i go...wherever i go' sort of thing and, unfortunately, i don't think you're talented enought to execute a 'plan as i go' style. You've got potential, as everyone does, but it's as-of-now unused.
Your 'crutch words' include: probably, slightly, and supposedly.
Crutch Words are words that you over-use and constantly abuse. They are words that you stick in your story despite their redundancy. They are words that, as a reader, I get tired of reading. It takes away from the plot of your story and it makes you seem incapable. You possibly use them thirty times during one chapter.
Your attempt to recreate the Harry Potter family with a modern-day twist flopped terribly. Harry's family loves each other and you portrayed them as some sort of dysfunctional family caught up in drama between themselves and romacnce. You forgot the originality of the story and JKR's main point: the life of Harry Potter as a hero. Your focus on Voldemort is...
Oh, Grammar and Spelling check before you post. There are a few grammatical erros and plenty of typos throughout your stories.
Your intensity on manwhore!James, bitchy!Lily, injuredontheinside!Remus, etc is done so frequently that they come off as the inventions of a 13-year-old.
There's more...but I'll stop for now.
I feel like you truly do have the potential, if writing is what you truly thrive off of, and I get the feeling from our many midnight conversatiosn that it isn't. That music and friends and classical symphonies are your thing and that's fine. I'm 100 percent sure you're amazing at what you do. I'm 100 percent sure that you put every inch of you into the sax and that's where you screwed up in fanfiction. You didn't commit to make it amazing and then you got cocky when you received countless positive reviews. Well, maybe this'll be a wake-up cal or maybe you grew up a long time go or maybe you don't even check your email anymore(!) but I've come to a point where I have to patch up all of my old friendships and fix all the lies I've told, no matter how small or insignificant.
I owe this to you, to myself, and to the fandom. Good luck in RL. Keep it on the DL with peace, yo.
haha. Good luck in college!
| Muse Dae chapter 18 . 1/21/2007
Ohmygod...I'm so terrible, but I keep losing stories when I change computers. I suddenly remembered that I was in love with "The Glittering Masquerade" and I ran off to it...and...ohmygods...you finished this story so well...
I am crying...damn you...
I'm so sad it's over!
| SeaBreeze2Ga chapter 1 . 10/13/2006
Great story so far.
| Midnight Seductress chapter 18 . 8/4/2006
Oh My God! I love your writing. I read The Glittering Masquerade and To The End what seems like years ago, and it was a complete accident that I found them again on this website, and to my total joy I found out there were not one, but two sequals! I've read them both and I loved them so much. That last little bit where Andrea showed Lily and April her book made me shiver. The only thing I didn't like is the fact that now I have to go and read Masquerade again! All because of the little snippit of Andreas book.
Hugs and kisses and all things good,
| RainDateChick chapter 18 . 6/16/2006
Wow. Just... wow. I first read The Glittering Masquerade a little under two years ago. It was actually the first fanfiction I ever read (you should feel honored.) I then read To the End and I believe I also Read Beyond the End shortly after. I was planning on reading A New Beginning, but I wasn't really sure if i would like a non lily/james fic (at that point all i had read were lily/james romances really.) And i was also realy absorbed in another fanfic (though it couldn't have been too great, because i can't remember what it was at all) so i didnt read it. A little over a week ago, i was bored, none of the other fics i was reading had been updated for a while, and most of my friends were busy. I remembered reading your stories and i remembered liking them, so i did a search for aks100, but i didnt get a result, so i searched for Glittering Masquerade, found it, and started reading. I've read this entire series in the week since, and i'm just in awe. You... are... amazing! These five stories are better than quite a few published books i've read. If it weren't for the whole JKR-owns-harry-potter-and-you'd-be-sued-if-you-tried-to-publish-or-sell-these-stories thing... i'd definitely be telling you to get them published. I read in your profile that you write things other than fanfiction and i'm sure they're probably equally (or more) wonderful as this. Personally, i wouldn't be surprised to see something of yours published...of course i won't really know if its yours since i'm sure you have an actual name other than aks100... but maybe those are your initials? who knows.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I have absolutely loved reading these... They're AMAZING. I loved The Glittering Masquerade and the following two stories so much that i remembered them for TWO YEARS and came back to read them again. You are a truly talented writer and i hope you keep writing.
| smartywitch chapter 17 . 5/2/2006
what happened to Rhia's baby?
I mean, it wasn't Andrea... she had another kid.
What is it's name
no offense meant...
but you shuld seriously not jump through chapters so much.
I know that I am not one to talk since I haven't publlished any yet...
but I have some written and don't want to publish them cause they will get stolen.
please respond by email- I am really curious.
| smartywitch chapter 18 . 5/2/2006
I read this like a year after you finished it.. hahaha.
so I didn't review allthe chapters- found it a waste since you were done working with it, you didn't need any more constructive critisms.
but, this is basically what I though of he story and the writing/ grammer.
I really, really liked your plot- but you should not have rushed it.
Thoughtout the entire story I felt like i couldn't catch up to the story.
you should have expandded more on the characters- like not say "this person was really loud" but show that the person was loud, let the readers figure it out for themselves- but give them the right clues to figure it all out just the way you want it- get it?
you REALLY need to expand your vocabulary. I don't know how manny times you used the word "cheeky" in one chapter- let alone the WHOLE story. You worded stuff wrong all over the place- using incorrect cliches like you couldn't remeber what it really was, but wanting to use it so you made it up a little and thought it would pass by- it didn't, it just made the story sound horrid.
there were more but I can't remeber them at the present time.
Oh, don't do the different POV thing- too confusing.
do the story from the point of an Omnicient Narator(if you don't know what that means... it is that another all-knowing person tells the story- this narator can know what the characters are thinking and they say it. ( I know it is confusing... I dunno how to write it out)
thats about it.
| lizzie chapter 1 . 3/15/2006
if u read this i just want top tell u how long i have been looking for a story with james and lily alive i just want to thank u so much!1
| vivs chapter 18 . 12/20/2005
cute story! i liked it...
| hermione278 chapter 18 . 12/6/2005
OMG it was so good:) Now when I have a chance, I'm going to go back and read the whol thing over, its been so long:) I still remembered that part about the pencil in "The Glittering Masquerade" You are a fantastic writer, so don't stop writing fanfiction! You always come up with fantastic plots, and you write everything just right:)
| The 5th Marauder chapter 18 . 11/28/2005
Its so sad that its over! But its a very good ending. Its so interesting to watch these characters grow up like this and now its actually over! You are a wonderful writer and I wish you luck with getting published!
| lilyflower009 chapter 18 . 11/27/2005
omigod, it's over? NO! Kay lol now that I'm done spazzing... It was REALLY good, and I really enjoyed reading it. If you ever get published, I'll definitely buy a copy! :D Well, I don't really have much else to say, plus I have to write a Hamlet paper and a US History paper(SO screwed, considering I just moved ehre from Canada...). But anyway, it was an excellent story!
| April Fan chapter 18 . 11/27/2005
I don't know, I wish the story would have end differently. It didn't feel right.
And how could you do this to April? such a pointless death for a man like Sirius...Can't these two ever be happy?
The series was brilliant, but ER, this ending!
| Tierney Potter chapter 18 . 11/26/2005
what? It's ended? NO! well, good luck with the rest of your stories, I liked this story (there were some parts i didn't approve of though) Good job