|Reviews for The night after|
| Martin III chapter 1 . 2/17/2007
Hm... First of all, the run-on sentences are totally out of control here. Together with the countless uncapitalized sentences and lack of paragraph breaks, that makes this a very unprofessional work.
Second, I think the time frame for this story is very inappropriate. Besides the fact that Mag and Linear were rather young to be engaging in sex at the time of Evolution 2(yes, they were sexually mature, but they strike me as being too content and responsible to resort to sex at that age), the game really makes no indication of their having been together. This story would be a lot more believable if you'd simply set it sometime after Evolution 2.
Also, the tone of the story is a tad... rambling. There's no sense of direction until the end.
The good stuff: The characters are all really well done. Linear is a bit more talkative than usual, but other than that nothing felt too forced. This story feels like a new dose of the same characters I loved from the game, and that made it a pleasure to read.
Finally, the actual action of the story was good, and I don't just mean the fighting action. The scene in the Tower of Despair is especially creative.
Oh, and congratulations on being the first to complete an Evolution fanfic!
| Amaranth89 chapter 1 . 8/14/2004
It was an alright story.
| mimi angel chapter 1 . 7/18/2004
how sweet! that was a really good
story! linear isn't as inocent as we
thought!Ihope you write anothermag/linear story soon!
| HyperSonicAdam2 chapter 1 . 7/13/2003
Nice fic but it would be nice if you made the part where Mag and Linear have sex more extensive that'd be nice.
| Cloud Benjamin Strife chapter 1 . 6/24/2001
The new work better be better, GIVE US 'LOVE' DETAILS!
| Shkira chapter 1 . 5/28/2001
Lol, good thing it wasn't Chain that found them the next morning!
| ZaPhA chapter 1 . 5/23/2001
Cool *blushes and sticks head in ground* my stomach is churning to read more, oh my *sniffs* they grow up so fast!
| Dehog chapter 1 . 4/18/2001
At last, I was begining to think no one would do a fic like this one! great job,
A please do more, or better yet, continue this one. I'd love to see more!
| LinearCannon chapter 1 . 4/11/2001
Well, you said you were going to make one of these fics. Pretty good and its kinda funny too. dont ask. Well, I congratulate you. my fic isnt going so well though I did update tonight. Keep up the good work. Linear and Mag 4 eva.
| Faria who's ALWAYS too lazy to log in chapter 1 . 4/5/2001
AWW! Kawaii! I'm so glad more Evolution fics are being written...Mag and Linear fans, unite! Yes, we shall rule the world! BWAHAHAH...eh...stop looking at me like that. 'Nyway...verry cute story, 'n' I can't wait to see where it goes from there...heeheehee. Continue. Now. Or I shall sic my evil Museling on you!
| HiPeeps chapter 1 . 4/4/2001
NOOOOO! You must hurry with the next chapter QUICK. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I love it. Please I beg you ::tears in eyes:: You must hurry!::gets on the ground holding her heart:: God bless!