|Reviews for Before RA Project|
| Anzu Fan chapter 5 . 1/28/2008
...Might I just say that I don't have any idea where I was when you started this story, and that I'm glad to have found it? Please don't say you're stopping the story or anything...it's too good for that. I sincerely hope you're going to continue.
What can I say? I adore stories like this with everyone IC. Also, so few people appear to know what Yu-Gi-Oh R is. I'm happy someone is writing for it...
| Dr. Watson chapter 5 . 11/16/2007
This is the first multichapter story I got hooked on in months. Very well written, and it's nice to see characters from R for a change. I especially like that you decided to play with the Y/A/YY love triangle in a way that's actually beliveable and in character, as opposed to... well, pathetic, as is often the case in fanfics XD. The sybolism in Yugi's dream is very well thought out. In fact, lots of tidbids (like Atemu aksking Anzu if he should leave the door open for her) are very nice subtle hints that get the point accross without shoving it down the readers throat. I also like Atemu's characterization very much. He's not exacty an easy charater to write, despite the fact that he posesses many traits common to shounen manga heroes.
There's one thind that baffles me, though - you seem to mix manga, dub and original in this story. You refer to the events from the manga and the original anime, yet there's some mention that Atemu has been around for three years (unless I misinterpreted that), which is a dubification. Takahashi himself stated that all the events of Yu-Gi-Oh take place within one year. The other thing is that Atemu calls Yugi by his name, which, I think, only happens twice in the original. That's just something I personally thought didn't add up, but if you did it for a reason, don't read this paragraph :D.
As for style, in a few instances, narration almost lapses into first person, which is kind of odd, since the story is written more or less from a neutral point of view. For example, Anzu's musings are a bit too subjective in this paragraph from the first chapter:
’ She… She just couldn’t believe that this was happening. It couldn’t be happening right? Yet, it was… The other Yuugi had willingly come to her side and was talking to her. Was… Was this for real? Nah—she had to have been dreaming or something! It was the only explanation.’
I think it would read better, with respect to the overall style or narration, without the questions and the elipses.
So much for my rant. Of course, these are just suggestions.
Hope you update soon, I'm looking forward to seeing where the story goes from here!
| Setalina Muro chapter 5 . 3/11/2007
You know, I'm three-quarters of the way tempted to take offence at that Earth Science crack. XD
This chapter made me laugh. I LOVE Yakou, the biting sarcastic bastard. Although I do feel kinda bad that he got paddled (reminds me of 'Dead Poet's Society' my friend made me watch it today.) and Ryou! God Mai is so full of herself. -.-'
busy girl, aren't we? The note on your profile made me laugh so hard. and on that note I suppose I'll leave you alone, as you asked.
but quick question. You aren't near that fire that just started over in California, right? Just wanted to check. I barely caught the tail end of the report and I got kinda worried. _"
anyway. TTUL. Loved the chapter, as always.
| Midoriko chapter 4 . 10/5/2006
I luv this fanfic! Please update it as often as is conveniant!
| LoneGothic chapter 4 . 7/28/2006
*hums* ... I love Gekkou. And... and Yakou. Plug someone up to the machine and let it rip, for SURE Yakou. ;D Although it's interesting to see him plot. And get annoyed everyone else. Constantly. (His plotting gets him EVERYWHERE doesn't it?) Also, whatever the duellist magazine section was funny generally. And Shizuka was well-respecting to notice Bakura first. ;) Or... fourth. Whatever. Cute either way.
| Cataracta chapter 4 . 7/22/2006
Looks good! Update soon!
| person75453336 chapter 4 . 7/22/2006
I mean I know it must be hard to update all your stories, you having like twenty somthing! lol
I loved this chapter, we got to see more about the Tenma brothers, I like them!
I have no idea where to go and buy the Yu-Gi-Oh R series so I must rely on "Janime" for the latest news on it. -
Great job on the chapter, update please!
oh, and thanks again for helping me with my Japanese questions. I may have more in the future, so please dont give up on me yet! I've been trying to find a book or tape or something that could help me but they all seem to not work, but I have been using that website you told me about, I like to go there.
anyway, sorry if I ask you too many questions on some words for my fic!
oh and it should be up in the next couple of days, and I will recongnize you in it! -
if you haven't gone to my profile to see what its about, its a Anzu/Kaiba fic set in the fourteenth century (I've changed the date three times! lol, first: eighteenth, second: sixteenth, third-and hopefully final-: fourteenth century
and update when you can! -
| PxC chapter 4 . 7/21/2006
Croquet loves you, even though you don't love him. D:
[ *Shot* X.x; ]
Ooh, and 'Christopher' has generally become his unofficial-yet-in-a-not-really-kinda-way 'official' name, because of 'Firewing's' various fictions using it, although it’s mainly because of her fiction 'I know you're out there somewhere,' which is -by far- the **best** YGO fiction ever, even if one dislikes the pairings incorporated in it. [ Although the ZOMG! four-second springing of Mokuba x Wittle!Bakura scared the crap out of me, and seemed to speck the otherwise flawlessly executed, and ‘realisticness’ of the fiction, but...eeh. ]
*Shot again, for not ranting about your snazzy ficclet*
I should review your works more often - I read them all, and love them all, but... am too intimated by your godly writing skills to muster a coherent review. [ Enter, this review~! XD ]
Wonderfully typed, although a minor 'pet peeve' is how you incorporate actions with (these things!) with your skills, I think you could easily blend the actions and whatnot into your woven tales of intrigue without smacking the reader in the face with a baseball bat of parentheses. [ Er, it might just be me - I get really into your fictions, and find the parentheses to be a tad.. breaking, in my reading tangent. *Cough* ]
| AnimeFantasy Fan chapter 4 . 7/20/2006
Yay, another beautiful chapter!
I love how your stories are so animated (no pun intended), it really makes the characters come to life. And, I've got to say, the “girl’s day-out” part was awesome- you really nailed their characters!
As for any negatives... I've got nothing to say.
| Tatsumaki Aphrodite chapter 4 . 7/15/2006
Heehee, am I the first to review? I miss stories! UK must be fun though. The second half is very funny; the conversation between Mai, Anzu, and Shizuka was hilarious. That magazine thing sounds like what a fangirl would write (lol, then again, the media appeals to them, how else will them make their millions? With tax-payers' money?) I'm so glad you came back, fanfiction was starting to bore me... lol, poor Jounouchi!
| person75453336 chapter 3 . 2/7/2006
Your fics just keep getting better and better!
I LOVE THIS ONE!
Poor Yuugi, his heart was broken when he saw Anzu and his other self about to kiss.
I have to know what happens now!
I wonder what Tenma is going to do with Anzu (reffering back to the last chapter)...?
| littlekaoruangel7 chapter 3 . 2/6/2006
I love this story than the other its so cool and mysterious hope you write more!
| AnimeFantasy Fan chapter 3 . 1/23/2006
Woohoo! New chapter!
This was really neat- I liked how symbolic everything was. You put a lot of thought into this, didn't you? LOL, of course you did, you put a lot of thought and planning into all your stories- that's why they're so great!
Gotta love the peachshipping. Poor Yuugi! Wonder if Anzu only likes other Yuugi (in your story), or if it's just Yuugi's inner fears. Personally, I hope it's the latter!
Good luck with the community service and the next chapter!
| Cerulean San chapter 3 . 1/22/2006
My, your work and style are certainly improving. there were a few spelling erros, but feel free to ignore my overly nitpicky self (here's a girl who spent six hours of writing, proofreading, more proofreading, and three betas on a simple one-shot!). I doubt you'd need to be that extreme.
Nice play on the visual-...ness. 0u0 Your words are filled with darama most times, and it's as if they're actually speaking in the same style of the Anime/manga. Kudos *hearts*.
PS: And dammit, come online! After exams, if you'd like!
| Cataracta chapter 3 . 1/22/2006
Gah. Finals are a bitch. This chapter was really good, I liked the giant metaphor usage. Update when you can, good luck with community service and school!