Reviews for Better Angels
Amaniel chapter 11 . 4/29/2021
Great work. Sickening but great. Thank you for the story :)
guihualiusha chapter 11 . 5/28/2020
Wonderful work! I love it. It sounds so real when you described reactions of the boys, which is realllllllllly amazing! I also pretty fancy some of your sentences. Sorry for my gramma mistakes, I am not a native speaker.
PinkMusicalCherry chapter 11 . 2/17/2020
I couldn't stop reading this omg. my favourite favourite bits were Lily and James thoughwrite, the cheekiness, the little sly moments, the creative dates omg
Temple Cloud chapter 11 . 11/8/2019
Thank you for this story. It's well-observed, hopeful, and an interesting AU background for Snape. It makes sense that slave-Snape would be more cautious and less creative than the Half-Blood Prince of Rowling's books, who spends his time inventing new spells and making improvements to the standard potion recipes (or sometimes not bothering to learn a spell at all if there's a simpler alternative). I love James's parents, and it looks as though they will probably be effectively adopting Sirius AND Snape, which is going to be problematic. I realise you have personal reasons for not writing any sequels to this, but we can enjoy imagining them. And in this version, James is actually growing into someone Lily could believably come to love, without our losing any respect for Lily.

This story makes me wonder whether you have read the Miles Vorkosigan books by Lois McMaster Bujold. If not, please read them, starting with Shards Of Honor and Barrayar (published together as Cordelia's Honor). One of my favourite characters in there, Sergeant Bothari, reminds me of both Sirius Black (violent and almost sociopathic, but deeply loyal to and protective of those he loves - and describes himself as a 'dog', even if he can't literally shape-shift into dog-form) and Severus Snape: born into dire poverty and abuse, finds escape by joining his planet's armed forces as Snape does by going to Hogwarts, comes under corrupting influences there, but finds redemption - and is so chivalrously devoted to Cordelia, the heroine of the first two books, that he is quite willing to devote his life to protecting her son. Admittedly, it helps that Cordelia, her husband Aral Vorkosigan, and their son Miles, all like and respect Bothari - it's not as if he has to pretend to be Miles's enemy while secretly working to protect him. (Though he'd be perfectly capable of doing that if necessary.) Like both Sirius and Snape, he's also tall, thin, ugly, and sinister-looking.

Bothari, like Snape in your story, had been forced to be a child prostitute, until he eventually ran away from home. He is so psychologically damaged by this and later experiences that, like Snape in your story, he isn't really capable of being set free - he needs the structure, whether as a soldier or as someone's private bodyguard, of having someone in authority over him, a uniform to wear, clear rules, and orders to follow. But above all, he needs to belong to people who love, trust and respect him enough to help him grow into the best person he can be, but are still sufficiently aware of his darker tendencies to be able to keep him under control. Aral and (especially) Cordelia generally manage to get the balance right; Miles, having grown up at a time in Bothari's life when he was comparatively stable, doesn't always realise how dangerous he can be until it's too late.
Temple Cloud chapter 7 . 11/8/2019
Wow - Sirius Black actually coming to Snape's defence! I'd been worrying earlier that Sirius wasn't a safe person to be left with any unconscious patient, particularly not Snape, and especially not at the moment, but it looks as though there might be hope.
Temple Cloud chapter 5 . 11/6/2019
This story makes me feel desperately sorry for Snape, unable to believe that James really doesn't plan to abuse him, because he has never known anything except cruelty either from James's gang or from the Malfoys and their friends (and in this AU where he was brought up as a slave in the Malfoy household, he wouldn't even have had the prickly brief friendship with Lily before they started at Hogwarts and began to drift apart). But it also reminds me that Sirius, however horrible he is, has his own problems too. However flawed James was, he and his parents did at least enable Sirius to escape from his abusive family - but in this AU, James needs to concentrate on finding some way to help Snape, and to stop Sirius being horrible to him. Sirius won't have the emotional maturity to understand why they can't just go tormenting Snape as usual, and is going to see James's sudden capacity for being a decent person as a rejection of him. The truth is that both he and Snape need help, and Hogwarts doesn't seem equipped to give it. (I've always had a lot of time for Whitehound's interpretation of why James and Sirius weren't expelled for the werewolf incident: it wasn't that Dumbledore liked Sirius or generally preferred wealthy, Pureblood Gryffindors to impoverished, Half-Blood Slytherins, but that he was worried about what Sirius might become if he were expelled - an emotionally unstable boy from an abusive family, aggressive tendencies and few close friends, exactly the sort of teenager likely to be recruited by the Death Eaters - and didn't realise until too late that the same applied to Snape.)
Arboreal Musteline chapter 11 . 6/28/2019
That was really, really, really great and I thank you for sharing such a wonderful story with us.
Guest chapter 11 . 6/3/2019
This was a really intriguing story
michalmil chapter 11 . 11/17/2018
That's great. I really like this storyline.
Thanks for the story!
Guest chapter 11 . 7/22/2018
wow that was really really good
Guest chapter 11 . 9/16/2017
I know this was written long ago but I am happy I came across this story. I was good, high detailed, thought out, and powerful. Is there really a sequel? Anyway this was great and I enjoyed it. You hardly run across raw, real, and stories like this, covering a tough issue realistically. I hope to read more. I am definitely going to check out more of your work. Thanks for sharing.
Fat Cat chapter 11 . 4/10/2017
Well that was unexpectedly good and emotionally unsettling. I started this story based on an old forum recommendation expecting some angst, finding instead a genuinely psychologically complex story on slavery and the redemption of a bully. Much of this was painful to read because of Snape's humiliation and helplessness (legal, physical, emotional, etc.). You've really managed to capture the experience of trauma and of the means of surpassing it.

Should you ever see this review, please do continue being such a thoughtful person, and if possible writing. There were superficial problems with grammar, but at it's essence, this is a beautifully written and incredibly well-formed work.
Cupid's lover chapter 11 . 2/12/2017
Wait what website? Couldnt find it on your bio. Do you still write? Its amazing how far you've gone in your life already, I mean I just barely started my second year of college and your already do great things! Just wow.

(don't have an account so I have to get replies this way -_-)
BlackRyuji chapter 10 . 5/3/2016
You don't even know how much I love Mrs. Potter (and Evelyn is a really good name).
UnicornMist chapter 11 . 3/31/2016
I was honestly moved to tears by your story- it is shocking that we live in a world where slavery still exists. Although this is a work of fiction, I was reminded that unfortunately some people have no rights to their own lives or bodies and that other people feel entitled to abuse them as they see fit. Thank you for sharing, perhaps one day we will no longer hear true life versions of this story.
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