|Reviews for Posession|
| ArieSemir chapter 1 . 6/6/2007
You know, I'm not sure anything that ends with "My world shattered into little tiny glittering fragments," quite qualifies as fluff, but it WAS a great read. I love Beka's explanation of her relationship with Tyr... OMG I miss those days so much! Rhade is very clever, using Beka's name like that (I'm sure he has good intentions, because Telemachus Rhade is a Good Guy). Poor Beka... isn't anyone going to give her the chance to develop into something resembling a healthy person? Rev is, at least!
| C.V. Wilson chapter 1 . 7/8/2005
Very interesting start. I like it a lot, but it is slightly ...different, not necissarly in a bad way, but different. I'm trying to figure out if it's a one-shot or not. I think it would be awesome if you did continue it.
| L. C. Brotherton chapter 1 . 7/4/2005
Very nice angsty bit! I'm sure it really ragged Beka's nerves for Telemachus to call her "Rebecca." You captured her irritation and annoyance extremely well.
| Misti Wolan chapter 1 . 6/29/2005
Writing style's all right, grammar for the most part can be ignored, but then your few wrong words jerk me out of it.
Grammar's my strong point, so here are some fixes. This isn't mean-spirited—I'm a technical/literal thinker, so I have great difficulty enjoying something with such obvious mistakes. I think I have a fever, so if I"m not completely lucid, that's why.
“I’m ignoring you. Shut up so I can do that, k?” I asked.
"OK" is the abbreviation for "okay," so it should be either 'K or 'kay. (The apostrophe shows that part of the word is missing—apostrophes go in contractions for the same reason.)
“Because you’re an idealistic idiot and I have no patients right now.”
Oh, so she's a doctor? :) "Patients" are those who a doctor treats. The word you want is "patience."
(Note: it's also a compound sentence, so a comma should go before the conjunction—i.e., "idiot, and…"
The word "god" only gets capitalized in reference to one god, specifically of Christianity, Judaism, etc. Not in the plural.
I opened my soar eyes, feeling a dull throbbing take up residence in the back of my head.
"Soar" has to do with flying. "Sore" is the pain.
I hope this helps.
Outside of the technicalities, it's enjoyable. It's just that the technicalities make some of us unable to enjoy it. :) Don't take it as an attack. It's fewer mistakes than many stories—these are just a bit more obvious. :)
| quentin7 chapter 1 . 6/28/2005
This was nice...in a depressing sort of way. :) I thought you nailed Beka's voice and did a great job getting inside her head. I'm always a little suspicious of an overly-sensitive Rhade, but this was believeable. (Just a note: I agree with her-it's super weird to hear him call her Rebecca. But I think it would seem strange from anybody.)
| Jamieson Zed chapter 1 . 6/27/2005
This was very insightful and...well...kinda creepy - I really liked it! I'm a big angst fan, and there's certainly a good amount here to keep any addict happy! I must say my favorite line in the whole story was: “I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I am either idealistic or an idiot" - I could so picture Rhade saying that with his ever-patient, thoughtful little grin. Great job! :-
| prin69 chapter 1 . 6/27/2005
*squel* you totally rock! hehe, i know i read this before, but i'm going out with my mom and gramma soon (the feeling is equal to being in a circle of hell) and its so awesome to read this! :)
i lvoe her explanation of tyr, it's perfect for the relationship that they had.
| Healer Sanina chapter 1 . 6/26/2005
Not telling anyone else the images I saw... save the msn convo if you need to remember them.