|Reviews for Training for the Job|
| Axcel chapter 4 . 7/4/2014
Something that didn't come to light until much later in the manga than this chapter was written is more details about Konoha's clans. The techniques used by the Nara and Yamanaka are not actually clan techniques. They are not even secret. It is just that no one else can use those techniques anywhere near the level the Nara and Yamanaka can. The Nara's shadows because of their intellect and the Yamanka's mind techniques because of their master of psychology.
It could be said that the only things unique to their clans are the Nara's genuis and the Yamanaka's psychology knowledge. I have to wonder, though, what if Naruto learned the shadow and mind techniques? This his creativity and quick thinking, shadows would be very good for him. With his shadow clones, mind techniques would be scary in his hands. After all, what if he had a clone mind-swap with an enemy and he ordered the clone's body to dispel? Yeah, poof, instant vegetable. Now remember how many clones he can make. Maybe even literal shadow clones, come to think of it that, when dispelled by an enemy, can suddenly become an area-of-effect shadow neck bind technique.
I find it amusing at the end of this chapter that Sakura thought Sasuke had an interesting, mysterious past. There is nothing mysterious about his past and unless you like mass murder, it isn't interesting, either. On the other hand, neither her nor her classmates know anything about Naruto's past, making it mysterious and therefore interesting.
As for Sakura claiming she loves Sasuke... she has no clue what love is. The fact she claims to love someone she knows nothing about and who either ignores or insults her constantly is proof of that. She just likes the attention. In Naruto's case, you gave him a strong reason for his infatuation with Sakura. She is his anchor to his ultimate goal. He wants to make everyone happy and views becoming Hokage as a tool for accomplishing that. Keeping Sakura happy gives him the reminder and encouragement that he can make it happen.
Something I always found kinda stupid was that Itachi wanted Sasuke to break the Curse of Hatred. However, Obito, Itachi, and Shisui seemed to have been born without the Curse in the first place (until Obito was turned into a lab-rat by Madara). Their descendants likely would also have been born without the Curse. Basically, by not blaming the massacre on internal clan strife (and knocking out and tying up Sasuke before beginning his mission), Itachi basically screwed up royally. Otherwise he and Sasuke could have remained together, he could have been there to help Sasuke overcome the Curse of Hatred, and his (and after breaking the Curse, Sasuke's) descendants would not have the Curse anymore.
| Pyryp chapter 70 . 6/27/2014
I think I'm going to take a break now and come back to this when it's finished. Your story isn't bad but it isn't good enough to be more than a time sink. You made several questionable plot decisions and some of the characterisation was awful. Overuse of 'however' was annoying and there were some recurring grammar mistakes that always caught my eye (like then instead of than and words like neither having the 'ei' part flipped into niether). Overt focus on minor characters was also a mistake in my opinion. Whether Tenten will end up banging Lee, Neji or both isn't relevant to the story and something I'd only like to know about in passing.
And the option of her banging them both being on the table is also something I find rather distasteful. Relationships with more than two people can work but that is so rare that having more than one "harem" in the story is just unrealistic. The only reason the thing with Hanabi & Co might work is that everyone in it is in doing it with everyone. If such a relationship is to work, all participants must be in love with each other because otherwise people will just end up getting hurt and I don't care to read about people getting hurt. The option of no string attached sex isn't on the table either because neither Lee nor Neji would be up for that.
I have more to say about other things in the story (like the Yuugao fiasco) but I can't be bothered since you said on your profile that you don't read reviews anymore.
| Pyryp chapter 69 . 6/27/2014
I doubt Naruto's reaction to basically being abandoned would be basically "Hey you are my mom right? Cool.". The whole thing just doesn't work. Anko had been in a similiar situation with the Orochimaru thing where everyone suspected and hated her so she would have at least given Naruto a chance. Another point is that the 4th wished for Naruto be treated as hero so would his lover have went against his dying wish without even checking?
So as I said the whole thing just doesn't work because Anko wouldn't have treated Naruto like she has in your fic and if she had then Naruto wouldn't have been cool with it.
There are several aspects in this story that you just haven't thought through but I think this is the most obvious and annoying example.
| Pyryp chapter 63 . 6/27/2014
That kyuubi stuff is just so lame.
| Pyryp chapter 62 . 6/27/2014
Your potrayal of Hinata's mother is somewhat annoying considering that basically every time she is mentioned, it's when someone says that Hinata inherited her gentle nature from her mother.
| Pyryp chapter 60 . 6/27/2014
I've thought about Yuugao's situation and I don't think it's realistic. She's essentially dedicating the rest of her life to betraying her lover's memory in order to get revenge for him. Now I know people in grief are not always the most rational ones but while I think she might become a nukenin to kill Baki, I doubt she'd directly betray Konoha and bump uglies with the Uchiha.
| Pyryp chapter 47 . 6/26/2014
I feel that using up all his chakra in that one healing technique is just a cheap way to add some tension to their escape.
| Pyryp chapter 34 . 6/26/2014
Exactly. Shikamary is a strategist while Naruto is a tactician.
| Pyryp chapter 26 . 6/26/2014
Still doesn't deserve Naruto.
| Pyryp chapter 25 . 6/26/2014
Yeah. Sakura definitely doesn't deserve Naruto.
| Pyryp chapter 23 . 6/26/2014
Your Sakura doesn't deserve Naruto either.
And I don't think making Anko Naruto's mother was a good idea if you are trying to make her into a sympathetic character. There's just no excuse for ignoring your son for 16 years. A son that had no one for about 13 years on top of that.
| Pyryp chapter 22 . 6/26/2014
I think it's pretty weird how dedicated Sakura is at 16 to a boy who she thought was hot at 12. That's basically all there ever was to her crush.
In canon I think that Sasuke doesn't deserve Sakura and Sakura doesn't deserve Naruto.
| Pyryp chapter 14 . 6/26/2014
There was no mistake with Anko's age. Orochimaru was like her dad, not her lover. A father figure betraying you is worse than a lover (unless that lover is a spouse or close enough to be a spouse).
| Pyryp chapter 9 . 6/26/2014
Keeps getting worse and worse. Shame.
| Pyryp chapter 7 . 6/26/2014
Some of the dialogue here was extremely awkward and wooden. A benevolent Kyuubi coming out nowhere didn't help either.