|Reviews for Who's My Dad|
| lilica chapter 1 . 2/18/2008
That's interesting for its firs part... I've already read some fics in Italian where Snapeturns out to be harry's father, and i'd like to read your version evry much... this has begun in a way that I like, please try to coontinue it...! Bye!
| funny harry chapter 1 . 7/31/2005
i think Purple Artichokes from Mars is right u should do the things she/he says it sounds a lot better and it is a good story but why did Harry not say why am i going to snape's house and when harry wakes up dont put him in snape's houes untill he and remus has some time to talk and harry get used to the idea so he has someone to talk to if he needs to.
| americanpie chapter 1 . 7/2/2005
Alright it really bothers me when authors write "harry" instead of "Harry" please capitalize names. This was a good place to end the chapter but don't get into a habbit of it. I think that Remus and Harry were both out of character. Other then those things I think that its a good start.
Also you would prob. get more reviews if you allow anonymous readers to review.
| Purple Artichokes from Mars chapter 1 . 7/2/2005
OK you've got some issues with this chapter. First of all, you need to space it better. Every time someone different talks, you need a new paragraph. Also you spent a lot of time telling us what was going on instead of showing us. Instead of saying *The next thing he saw was Lupin telling him that he is at his house and not to get up because he had a concussion.* you might say something like this:
*When Harry regained consciousness, he opened his eyes to see Lupin's concerned face staring down at him. Harry groaned at the pain in his head and asked, 'Where am I? What happened?'
'You're at home now, Harry,' Lupin replied. 'Don't get up - your uncle knocked you out and now you have a concussion.'*
See? That way you're showing us what's going on instead of just saying it matter-of-factly.
Either way, it's a start and I'd be interested to see where you're going with it.