Hell, when fanfiction falls by the wayside for me, it does it in a big way...sorry about this being so late.

Twining stories toghether. Maybe the only thing to do is a seperate story touching on the original one, with its own goals. But then the goals in HDM are pretty overarching, like the storytelling conventions that make 'original fic' almost a misnomer. So, nice as it is to see a convincing Iorek again, I never understood any feeling of dissatisfaction that your later stories seemed to touch on HDM cannon so little.

Mrs Coulter's final scene was nice, her force of character almost felt supernatural. And the end of chpt 9, with Arthur's growing sense of adult responsibility, though I honestly wasn't certain that he and Maggie would even say IT. That really came in the line about Arthur thinking that Maggie made a difference when he didn't; whatever happened, that really says what he thinks of her.

'Ordinary heroes'-heh. If Maggie was using Arthur, being used is underated. Everybody needs a purpose.

Good luck in the future.

This is brilliant, plot, characterisation, everything. I particularly like Arthur's way of speaking/narrating, it's very engaging. Well Done.

Things start moving...Arthur's little episode was very nicely done. I rather like Harold as well, and Fawcett certainly wasn't the kind of person I expected to meet in Bolvangar.

For the last chapter, the Zeppelin was well described. It's reminded me to only describe points I want to. Sal and Arthur's conversation in the 2nd from last paragraph is very good. It seemed like Arthur had been to the countryside before though, and a reminicence of the circumstance would be nice. Where did you get the thing about slippers?

I guess ordinary people in adventures must hit the doldrums eventually, but I can't remember seeing it many times, and yours is exceptionally grim. Arthur and Maggie are pretty grim all round for people of such positive energy, as might be expected. They have good loving arguments. I get a fair sense of Starminster's character from this, but it isn't a background overload.

I must try writing a Victorian adventure story; but I suppose it's quite hard till you get the feel for the possiblities and workings. It's a good thing, skimming over the cannon action like this, the story feel independent. In all points, you thought this out well. I'm not sure when Arthur would've riden on a train, but I suppose that's the trouble with 1st person; probably he just has the idea. 'Starminster of the Chronicle' is the sort of introduction every walk-on character dreams of owning.

Counselling by confession? If that isn't just official-speak for interrogation, it sounds a bit interesting. Interesting that Maggie swears at Arthur, but not at his deamon. Funny to think he started out like this.

You didn't think your honest and saintly readers wanted to hear about X-rated doings did you? Actually, judging by some of the stuff on here, could well be.

I'm sorry I never told you how I was getting on, the last time you asked-I'm fine, not too worried about Uni at present. Do you know if the Narnia film's worth seeing?