|Reviews for Was it wrong|
| Amu4ever chapter 1 . 3/8
You should make shorter paragraphs. They are hard to red that way. Oh and some space in-between paragraphs would be nice too.
Especially in the case of paragraphs, which are located after POV changes it's really important. It makes your story less confusing. And yes your story is a bit confusing like it is.
But overall good idea and hope to read another story from you soon. Oh and by the way, try not to sound so defensive in your AN.
The way you wrote your note you were already acussing us of not liking your characters wihtout us having a chance to say anything about it.
One last thing you should really do something about the ending. Put some space between end of story and AN or indicate the ending in some other way.
It's like we are in the middle of the story and - BOOM! - there is the AN. It shouldn't be like that. Try to close the story us at least aware of the ending with space and an 'AN' written after the story and before the note.
Hope my review was helpful :)
| dark-sparks chapter 1 . 9/5/2011
Hi I loved it good and I did notice in some of the chapters u spelt krad as kard x
| KitsuneDango chapter 1 . 7/19/2010
i liked it, but wished krad actually fell in love
| koryssa-kory chapter 1 . 2/3/2010
Insanity is most deffiately a virtue! O
| dawn chase chapter 1 . 12/28/2008
| tinkletimekelly chapter 1 . 8/10/2007
I like! yaye Krad/daisuke
| Noke Utahan chapter 1 . 6/29/2007
THAT WAS SO HOT AND HOT! WRITE MORE PLEASE! I'M BEGING YOU! HAVE SOME MERCY! -cries in her decorated Krad/Daisuke furnished room-
| MightyMaeve chapter 1 . 6/28/2007
Fabulous story! Yes, please write more! Few stories give me that stomach-clenching, temperature-rising feeling - your's did!
I had time to help you out with spelling mistakes (other than 'Kard') in the first section. I've capitalized the changes I would suggest:
"Here he was tied down and held down by his worst enemy and his other half Dark was NOWHERE to be found."
"His arms were BOUND above his head and Krad’s knees kept his legs apart while his weight kept him still."
"Moving his legs around he straddled the YOUNG BOY'S lap..."
"Stopping to suck and BITE at the junction between the neck and the shoulder.."
"Either trapped SOMEWHERE inside the mind WHERE he couldn’t COME out from or he was truly gone."
"Finding his target he GRIPPED onto Daisuke member and he rocked his hips harder and his MOUTH and fingers teased Daisuke’s nipples even harder."
There are grammar problems in some of those sentences too. If you want, email me your story: and I'll edit the whole thing when I have more time.
| Emerald-Jasmine chapter 1 . 6/17/2007
You need to continue it
| EvilAngelofHeavenandHell chapter 1 . 4/6/2007
what can i say? i'm a fan
| Drakkard chapter 1 . 3/28/2007
-drools-I love this story
| Shisu Usotsuki chapter 1 . 3/7/2007
Everythings virtue. I love this story. About 17th time reading it. Can't get enough.
| Ana chapter 1 . 3/5/2007
Loved it nice writing, keep it up And do more x3 nyufufufufufufufufufu *complete perv*
| Elf-War-Goddess-Blood-Lust chapter 1 . 1/25/2007
are you kidding I LOVED IT! Everything was perfect..well almost every thing...there were some parts in the story that were mispelt. But other then that I thought it was AMAZING, even though a short story it was great.
Arigatou Draka Dark-san your story was truly one of a kind
| ErraticMovements chapter 1 . 6/29/2006
oh! iloved it so much!