Get a dictionary. Kill your beta, he us useless. Go back to school and relearn english.

I want more!
MORE!MORE!MORE!

Texas, and Colorado, YMCA of the Rockies

Sorry dude, but I've hit my limit for cock-ups.
Sword making requires the use of a forge. Not a kiln. Kilns are used for 'firing' pottery, as in baking the clay forms into finished crockery.
STRAIT is a geographical term relating to waterways, nothing to do with geometry. The term which you should be using is STRAIGHT. As in not crooked, bent or twisted.
Buy a bloody dictionary and look up the word PORE. It's nothing to do with the usage you put it to. The correct word is POUR.
The proper abbreviation for YOU ARE is YOU'RE. Absolutely not YOUR. YOUR cock-ups are appalling. If you do not know the proper abbreviations, DO NOT ABBREVIATE!
By the way, TOO many errors to count. That's the correct synonym for superlatives.
I.E. TOO few; TOO little; TOO far; TOO poor; TOO weak; Got the idea?
If not, demand a refund from your English teachers. And defenestrate your beta.
Ciao!

Your last update was in 2008 and we are in 2024, so are you going to update this story soon or not?

You need a grammar primer, a dictionary and a good beta. Like your story but your English needs some help.

I get the magic stuff for weapon materials.

But I just assumed they were shaped with magic. If you melt a gem, it doesn't look so pretty. It just becomes pretty normal rock.

In fact, diamonds burn exactly like hyper expensive coal.

(It would work if you skipped the forge and just made a magic softening device or something. You're already using strange materials.)

Um, for your information, kilns are not used by swordsmiths. They are used by POTTERS to 'fire' pottery. (the heating which transforms clay into crockery).
Smiths, however, use FORGES to forge swords, or other metalwork.
One is a closed oven like space. The other is not. Guess which is which.
Ciao.
P.S., basically a decent tale, but you very badly need an erudite 'beta' editor to correct your hundreds of incorrect synonyms, missing words, plain wrong word selections and other cock-ups. I advise running spell and grammar checking over your writings before uploading and frequent consultation of a good dictionary. Chambers 21st Century or Oxford English dictionaries are excellent.
Thanks.

Good beginning, but please… paragraphs. Many of the long blocks of text should have been two or more separate paragraphs… which help a reader follow along smoothly. I was sure one mammoth of a multi-paragraph monstrosity was about to form Voltron.

Bruh this fanfic older than me :/

Why didn't Markis and Sophia burst into flames from the blood bonding?

Great story up until the point is started getting ridiculous. I have a high tolerance for the ridiculous (such as name dropping a Chopper company), but it became absolutely stupid at the point he decided to play rock band in the music store in Ch.11 and you chose a song by Simple Plan. It went beyond ridiculous to just lame. I go back and reread stories as I've read hundreds if not thousands, and this one never pops up in my saved Favorites, and now I realize why. After trying to read it time and time again, the story just gets too insane to continue. Sorry, but it's true. The terrible spelling and incomplete sentences with missing words is awful too and I'd suggest getting a competent Beta reader or Editor. They can help with those things as well as act as a sounding board to rein in your more insane storyline arcs.

The penalty for being a hypocrite should be very painful spankings even if it means daily I'd until they get it. The kids are getting it while the adults don't. The order refuses to do what is necessary to put down evil. And quite frankly the Mundane sees and understands see willing to do what is necessary to put down evil. Have the queen and her total military get involved and the witches as and wizards would like what would not like what would happen.

Why, just... Why? Now I have that image in my brain and I want to violently vomit, which admittedly is very high praises considering the stuff I can withstand

Dept should be debt. When returning to a life debt.

The reason I mention this is because of those using the dept. Will hear the department when using the text to speech which I do because of my dyslexia and vision issues I have good days and bad days. So the function helps. My brother who also has an account has both dyslexia and autism. This allows him to use and enjoy the app.