Reviews for Identity |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Great story up until the point is started getting ridiculous. I have a high tolerance for the ridiculous (such as name dropping a Chopper company), but it became absolutely stupid at the point he decided to play rock band in the music store in Ch.11 and you chose a song by Simple Plan. It went beyond ridiculous to just lame. I go back and reread stories as I've read hundreds if not thousands, and this one never pops up in my saved Favorites, and now I realize why. After trying to read it time and time again, the story just gets too insane to continue. Sorry, but it's true. The terrible spelling and incomplete sentences with missing words is awful too and I'd suggest getting a competent Beta reader or Editor. They can help with those things as well as act as a sounding board to rein in your more insane storyline arcs. |
![]() ![]() ![]() The penalty for being a hypocrite should be very painful spankings even if it means daily I'd until they get it. The kids are getting it while the adults don't. The order refuses to do what is necessary to put down evil. And quite frankly the Mundane sees and understands see willing to do what is necessary to put down evil. Have the queen and her total military get involved and the witches as and wizards would like what would not like what would happen. |
![]() ![]() Why, just... Why? Now I have that image in my brain and I want to violently vomit, which admittedly is very high praises considering the stuff I can withstand |
![]() ![]() ![]() Dept should be debt. When returning to a life debt. The reason I mention this is because of those using the dept. Will hear the department when using the text to speech which I do because of my dyslexia and vision issues I have good days and bad days. So the function helps. My brother who also has an account has both dyslexia and autism. This allows him to use and enjoy the app. |
![]() ![]() ![]() At the beginning of this chapter you said that you felt guilty after not posting for a month. Not sure why you haven't posted in 14 years but I hope that the years have treated you well. |
![]() ![]() Most Bass, and all Bluegill Are Fresh Water Fish. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I really like your story except the pairing of ginny with Harry, not good my friend! |
![]() ![]() ![]() All right so I was about to start reading this chapter and then I realized you left an author's note at the beginning, normally no big deal glance over him continue on. However I am worried about possible continuity errors. You couple chapters back claimed that Ash Republic was going to play with simple plan. On your author's note you said that you changed your mind, and that's no big issue as you put in the authors note you are the author. However my question is why didn't you just go back and change that in the chapter then? So that there was no continuity error and people could understand stuff because not everyone reads the author's notes. All that aside I am absolutely loving the story so far you've done a great job writing it. Can't wait to read the rest and answer some of my burning questions regarding the story lol |
![]() ![]() ![]() I really wish this to be continued |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wish this had continued |
![]() ![]() ![]() "Everyone in the Black Family is either a Death Eater, married to a Death Eater, or dead." Yeah, and Andromeda Black and Nymphadora Tonks are just, you know, chopped liver I get that Andromeda is disowned but still |
![]() ![]() What a degradation of a story. Initial chapters were fantastic. To some extent Dumbledore bashing but then it extended to rest of the order members and staff to the extent of foolishness and idiocy with no signs of repentance. No power shown in Harry for turning public opinions in his favour or using media for his own objectives and politics too. I mean the only power shown was of creatures kind for rest of the matters you effectively made Harry and his friends victims instead of heroes. |
![]() ![]() Since you showed this whore of a track for Veelas it's not hard to understand why they're not respected or they're not worth respecting. Or why they can never be wife material only slave or concubine material. For they can never wholly, solely and completely become only of one person for life. Their customs make them sophisticated whores. |
![]() ![]() Sick of you to write about Veela bonding like this making them a kind of whores. Sophisticated whores but any woman who has to perform intercourse with another woman being married is what it is, their customs make them whores. I was enjoying this story and especially happy that both Ginny and Hermione will be married to Harry but then you throw in this sick mind of a track, no white of a track. No wonder their called concubines and creatures. |
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