|Reviews for What Comes of It|
| Amalthia chapter 13 . 6/27/2018
I had fun reading your story.
| Lunary chapter 13 . 4/19/2016
I like this story :)
Glad they had a happy end.
| Guest chapter 13 . 1/20/2016
| Caldonya chapter 13 . 8/14/2015
Great story just what I was hoping for when I liked for this pairing.
| armsforwings chapter 5 . 3/2/2015
that was adorable
| Abby -WCD chapter 13 . 2/23/2015
Going to go start the sequel now! Enjoyed! I remember reading this story before it was finished! Glad I found it again!
| Crystia chapter 13 . 7/21/2014
I've read both this and the sequel, but...hmm.
It's partly my fault, I think, since I read it despite the warnings...but the handling of Obi-Wan's rape left me deeply uncomfortable. I dislike reading about rape in the first place, but with Obi-Wan's easy forgiveness (or rather, the absense of acknowledgement on his behalf, which I think is the most critical step to forgiveness), the lack of anything graphic, and Anakin's thought process made it feel...glorified, almost. Anakin's actions weren't considered his own, but it was really him. And considering how psychologically damaging such a violation is, I don't think Obi-Wan could have forgiven him so easily. Not that he couldn't -ever-, but even Obi-Wan gets angry and feels betrayed, and that was a horrible thing to submit to over a long period of time, the force or not. Especially from someone he had trusted so implicitly, before. Not to mention Anakin killed Obi-Wan's friends (family, in a way) and the temple's children. I don't think Obi-Wan would've agreed to a sexual relationship without signs of trauma and anger at Anakin- his return would have been more out of duty, I thought.
Jade and Mara also seemed like a bit of an unwarranted distraction, and Obi-Wan never seemed to truly gain his independence, since even in the end Anakin needed to save him.
That being said, the reason I kept reading was because I think your writing has a lot of potential...At times I could feel very sympathetic to the characters, and their pangs of emotion. It's also an improvement from 'Black and White', in my opinion, since Padme wasn't so completely disregarded. Although I do think the feelings in Anakin's and Padme's relationship were also weakened by the easy forgiveness—the betrayals that hurt the most are by the people you trusted the most—at least Anakin displayed a little bit of conflict and lingering emotion.
So I think you're great at writing strong emotions, but maybe not capturing their complexity? Anakin and Obi-Wan's relationship should be a mess. Obi-Wan's Jedi upbringing, Obi-Wan's role as a teacher, Anakin's relationship with Padme, Anakin's jealousy and distrust of Obi-Wan (that furthered his decent to the dark side in the first place), Anakin's mass murder, Anakin's rape of Obi-Wan (in this case), Obi-Wan's feelings of betrayal and denial (what he tells Luke in episode 4), Anakin's connection to his children (where were Luke and Leia? You mentioned that he had nightmares about Padme, so I assume she was pregnant when they broke up?), trauma and distrust Obi-Wan should have displayed after his rape and beating, Anakin's guilt (somewhat acknowledged, but didn't seem very deep, considering the scale at which he slaughtered), etc.
I do hope this doesn't come off as terribly harsh...I think your ideas and writing showed a lot of promise, and I've read two or three of them. On your profile I noticed that you appreciated concrit, and this certainly made me think enough to provide some, so I thought I'd try. I do like the style of your writing enough to read quite a bit; it's very fluid and descriptive.
Sorry that this review turned out to be kind of long-winded...I guess this just made me think a lot. Thank you for posting!
| Starhunter79 chapter 13 . 2/20/2013
Great story. The emotions that this story invokes are very powerful. I loved the growth and transformation of Anakin in this story. Obi Wan's light was able to save Anakin and destroy the emperor. I'm sorry that you aren't posting the second part on ffn and that you haven't received the feedback that you deserve. I enjoyed the foreshadowing in the beginning, when Obi Wan tells Anakin he would not like what he found. Thank you for your wonderful story.
| Lovell Luka chapter 5 . 11/20/2012
not too dark or too sweet. just right. like the baby bear. XD
| Lovell Luka chapter 4 . 11/20/2012
oh dude. this is hot. and fun.
| Lovell Luka chapter 3 . 11/20/2012
I don't understand what you mean by:
Is this story just not appropriate for There won't be anything graphic, but I wonder if this is even a good place to post it.
| Lovell Luka chapter 2 . 11/20/2012
naughty vader. x3
| Lovell Luka chapter 1 . 11/20/2012
:D oooh hot... I knows what anakins has planned! XD
| The Nameless Stranger chapter 13 . 8/8/2012
Hello. Having read your story, I'd like, if the Force allows it, to share my thoughts with you about it.
So, when i first saw that there was a story with Obi-wan and Vader, I sqeed in geeky glee and was immediately interested. Now, I won't say I'm dissapointed, but this story did have more potential.
For example, I didn't get sad while reading, and even chuckled at some points (esp. with Obi-Wans witty retorts and an annoyed Vader!), so the drama part didn't really get to me. I would prefer their reunion to be more...impressive? emotional? And Vader to be more intimidating. Also, speaking of Vader, I know that he isn't burned and he doesn't wear the mask and all, but seing a Dark Lord skimming through reports and eating breakfast is somehow a put-off. Moreover, in my opinion, this wasn't the best way to 'break' Obi-Wan. If I were in Vader's shoes-eh...boots-, i'd make him fight for the Sith and kill innocent people. (secret: I had faith in Obi's brave remark in the second chapter: "Don't do this-you may not like what comes of it", all along :D), as it all 'backfired' on Vader in the end. As for the rape scenes, I respect that you don't like making the explicit, as I too don't like writting sth like this, and sometimes, it's hard to read one such scene as well.
But don't get me wrong, I liked your fanfic. I just didn't find it perfect. For example, I especially enjoyed Obi-Wan's in characterness (form his lines to his sacrifice), and his lines are my faves. The ending is really sweet too, and is an interesting way for Anakin to bring the 'balance' to the Force (a.k.a destroy the Sith.) Also, one question: did Obi-Wan love him too (romantically) all along?
All in all, pretty good job. I'm looking forward to read that prequel about Obi's and Padme's plan (if you ever write it), and the sequel too, to see what finally 'is going to come of it'.
See you around,
| Vithian chapter 13 . 5/25/2011
I've read both this story and the one over at Livejournal, and they are both brilliant! Poor Obi-Wan just can't stay out of trouble...
You're are so freaking talented, it's not funny. I really hope you want to be an author, because to deprive the world of your talent would be a sin.