|Reviews for A Second Chance at Life|
| xvector chapter 35 . 4h ago
This story was interesting, your world building was fascinating, you have intriguing OCs, and I applaud you for having the balls to go this AU. However, this fic also has many fatal flaws, including retconning.
But perhaps the worst flaw was the lack of a plot and disappointing ending. I am not trying to bash on you or your story; I am merely reviewing as I see your story compared to others. Voldemort wasn't much of a challenge. You make the protagonists too powerful, too flawless to pose a threat. Evan's lack of participation until the very end was also disappointing. Where you could have made Voldemort a powerful, two-dimensional foe, you instead turn him into a deluded two-dimensional wizard with a bit too much power. So instead of being interesting, the ending was rather dull, for all of the shiny, explosive magic you had. Believe it or not, a struggle is what makes stories interesting. The lack of a central struggle, the lack of loss, and the lack of a clear plot goal upon which the story could have converged severely diminish the potential of this story. Where it could have been in "classic epic" territory, it falls into "interesting but flawed" for now, for me.
In the future, I would recommend far more planning on your part. Have a clear conflict and goal. Write more realistic emotions. Introduce a struggle, introduce loss; for victory after struggle and loss is much sweeter. As a fellow engineering major, I can sympathize with how difficult it is to write and plan fics during a semester.
Despite these flaws, your story was still very enjoyable. I look forward to reading the next part.
| bleme chapter 1 . 3/24
First, you should know that the author abandoned this story in 2009. There are still a lot of good chapters before then, but you will never see a conclusion. Despite its many flaws, it is still worth the read. It is only based on Harry Potter in the loosest way possible and is overflowing with original ideas.
The story starts off VERY rough. Because the story is so original, the author has to explain a lot and because she didn't work it all out beforehand (despite her many claims to the contrary), she has to "clarify" over and over and over again. It gets very tedious. She also contradicts herself a LOT in the beginning but improves as the story goes on. My personal favorite was that twice in the beginning she states that she doesn't know what to do with Saul. Then when she deals with him, she states the she only put Saul in the story so she could use that spell on him. I laughed.
She doesn't use a beta and it shows. The grammar is generally decent but a few times every chapter you will have to figure out what the sentence supposed to say.
| ironhair chapter 21 . 3/23
Draco? Why/who took away his wand before realising him?
| AchillesMonkey chapter 2 . 3/21
I just wanted you to know that there is a new fic claiming to be a rewrite of this story, but appears to me to be a blatant plagiarism of it. It's called A Chance at a New Life and is by DarkLordCola. I thought you would want to know. I would have PM'd you, but it doesn't seem as if you're accepting PMs.
| Zale potter chapter 16 . 3/3
Demons nice touch wonder if the rest are set to deal with them then...?
| Zale potter chapter 15 . 3/3
ok i know Rahkesh turned into something and will that make him immune to being turned vamp or lycan...?
| Drowninginallmyfandoms chapter 35 . 2/26
You weren't kidding when you said it was singularly unique! I tried to find another fic at least kinda like it, but it's impossible! At least, I haven't found anything. If you know anything in the same category, anything at all, please let me know, as your fic is perhaps the best I've ever read, and I wanna read more like it. Thank you so much for writing this!
| Aprion chapter 14 . 2/25
with that high a mortality rate i was almost convinced they had some magical version of Ebola.
| ninjacatblue chapter 19 . 2/22
Can I just stop at this chapter for a moment and say Wow. You have done this story beautifully so far. I have seen other authors attempt to do a time travel arc like you did and it never really works well. You have written something completely detached from cannon and it is beautiful. I really don't know how else to describe action scenes were well thought out, and easy to follow who was doing what; the realism with the language barrier, and different cultures were great; there was even a scattering of light and sadistic humor that kept everything from becoming painfully dry. Just well done.
| Zale potter chapter 14 . 2/17
very good chapter how this illness passes them.
| Zale potter chapter 13 . 2/17
Hope they potions helps them find a way home.
| Zale potter chapter 12 . 2/17
wow i hope they get back safe.
| Zale potter chapter 11 . 2/17
would be a good chase for him to try that new book he copied on that fighting style.
| Zale potter chapter 10 . 2/16
Would be nice to see one or two of his old friends go to Akren with him.
| Zale potter chapter 9 . 2/16
I wonder if Rahkesh will get into any fights with vampires and win and if he wins what would he get sense he dose not drink blood...?