Reviews for Paravel
Iora Blacklink chapter 1 . 10/12/2015
All of your poetry is exquisitely poignant. It really captures the true personalities of the Pevensies, and the rhyme scheme is always unexpectedly rhythmic.
OliviaxxLuna chapter 1 . 11/4/2014
Oh my, this is really cool! I love how you write D
OnlyTheBeginningOfTheAdventure chapter 1 . 5/3/2013
It's really good, just I would like if you put a little more of Susan's personality in there, you already di that with her gracing the court, but that would be nice. :) Other than that, good work!
Metonomia chapter 1 . 12/16/2009
Finding rhymes IS hard, but I think you do not need any help with it! I ADORE your vision of Lucy, and how she's not just Valiant but a Warrior Queen. And the image of Edmund, dispensing justice with "penance in his eyes," is breathtaking. Also, the line "Where sunshine dries a lion's tears"...you really have a turn of phrase that is lovely and gives heart to the reader. You're the type of writer who utterly humbles and also inspires me.
Certain Velocity chapter 1 . 7/16/2009
Once again, beautiful work. (I fear by the time I am done reading all your poems you will have heard that a great many times.)

If only one thing, that's needs naught to be changed, but merely pointed out. When I read poetry, I narrate it in my head, as I enjoy rhymes myself, and, although I could find them when I was looking, the rhymes in these did not stand out.

But, as you said, it is hard to find a rhyme that fits.
priscipixie chapter 1 . 5/5/2009
This was beautiful! I gave up on attempting to write poetry that rhymes way back in high school after realising how cheesy I made it sound, but you make it sound melodic, and lovely, and just right.

Just one small quibble - to me, the final lines of the last two stanzas contradict the tone of the poem. I can just imagine this being sung by the minstrels for generations after the Golden Age. Somehow, to me, it sounds like that kind of a song - recalling a legend *after* it has passed, keeping memories alive, rather than something actually sung in tribute in the courts *during* the Golden Age itself. I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself properly - it's like the songs of 12th century balladeers singing of Arthur's legendary glory, rather than the songs of 5th century Camelot itself. With that kind of a tone, it seems slightly odd to hear lines like "The Golden Age *shall* last" and "Their legends *will* be told" - those are future tense lines, but to me, the tone of most of the poem signals past tense - past glories that are still alive, an old flame that will continue to be fanned ablaze. Let me make it clear that this is just my reading of the tone of the poem and I might be totally wrong. Just wanted to share anyway :)

You want to know what I loved most? The fact that you've managed to write a paean of praise to the monarchs of the Golden Age of Narnia *WITHOUT* once using the titles of Magnificent, Gentle, Just and Valiant. Yes, I know Aslan gave them those titles, and yes, I know that they fit, but they really aren't used all that much in the books, and they're certainly overused in the fandom. There must have been other words used to praise them and I'm so glad you found some of them! There, rant over! (Also, I loved the fact that you started with Lucy!)
floppyearsthebunny chapter 1 . 7/12/2007
very great.
blerghy chapter 1 . 11/6/2006
Wow, that was great! I wish I could write like that!
Living in Time chapter 1 . 7/19/2006
Very nice. Lament is still my favorite, but this one was good too.

~KP
elecktrum chapter 1 . 7/15/2006
This was quite beautiful and marvelous and splendid and all kinds of lovely things.
Princess of Ithilien chapter 1 . 4/12/2006
I liked it. I wish Lewis would have written more about the Golden Age...
Violin Ghost chapter 1 . 3/28/2006
Wow, you'll be beating Tolkien's many poems scattered around his books. You really have a thing for poetry, don't you? I'm glad you do, anyhow, because all your writings are beautiful. Ü
Sakina the Fallen Angel chapter 1 . 2/20/2006
Stunning!

Sakina x
Lady-of-the-Dragons chapter 1 . 2/9/2006
Another splendid poem about Narnia. Too few are poets who can write with such elegance! You've captured the spirit of each beautifully. No twee rhymes, no lines that just don't... marvellous.
Smoltenica chapter 1 . 1/30/2006
I think that you write poems wonderfully and I don't really have much to say apart from the fact that I love your work!
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