|Reviews for The Meeting A Bad Braclet Story|
| Ganheim chapter 1 . 1/12/2010
[I see typos, or plain spelling errors]
walking quite capeably
on it’s hind legs
she was shot and
about this either boy
had revenge inhis
sights but the guide
There was an estabolished
lay a decent pile of long burning wood
[of fire logs?]
Pleased the two
customers pocessed an
unearhly amount of stamina
with much hestience,
Joketsuzoku, the amazon village.
[Erroneous: Joketsuzoku means “tribe of women heroes”, the village itself is “Nyanchizu”, though the transliteration is uncertain]
Amazons are not know
time since een her
it didn’t effect him
[I think this should be “affect”]
and uncerimoniously dumped
a decnet portion
and tender leaving him
downed saotome patriach
[Saotome patriarch – don’t forget to capitalize names, as those are proper nouns. You forget that several times in the story]
Genma moaned dramaticly
waking in preperation
between the partisipents
Ha, your slipping
to you at all.”
a good tow-thirds
keep youself on guard
to say is wasn’t
prepared and vigilent.
The one-shot that started this was excellent, and yet this seemed short and didn’t really go anywhere new. A terrible pity that you left this story incomplete, especially as good as the one-shot was. I hope you come back to this some day, but as long as it’s been the prospects don’t look good given the time passed.
| ms2 ultimate chapter 1 . 8/26/2005
um...it was okay...but what was the plot? and it's not your fault (it's technicly mine...did i spell that wrong?) but i didnt really understand that at all! (I'm not that bright...wa.)
| Drakus chapter 1 . 7/20/2005
interesting, i think i'll go look up that other story now.
| The Eromancer chapter 1 . 7/20/2005
| Ysolde chapter 1 . 7/20/2005
I liked the original well enough. Let's see how this new history plays out...
| Wonderbee31 chapter 1 . 7/20/2005
This is looking very interesting, and I can't wait to see how things change from the usual canon.