Reviews for The Meeting A Bad Braclet Story
Ganheim chapter 1 . 1/12/2010


[I see typos, or plain spelling errors]

walking quite capeably


on it’s hind legs


she was shot and

[a short]

about this either boy


had revenge inhis

[in his]

sights but the guide



[Spelling/capitalization: Japanese]

There was an estabolished


lay a decent pile of long burning wood

[of fire logs?]

Pleased the two


customers pocessed an


unearhly amount of stamina


with much hestience,


Joketsuzoku, the amazon village.

[Erroneous: Joketsuzoku means “tribe of women heroes”, the village itself is “Nyanchizu”, though the transliteration is uncertain]

Amazons are not know


time since een her


it didn’t effect him

[I think this should be “affect”]

and uncerimoniously dumped


a decnet portion


and tender leaving him


downed saotome patriach

[Saotome patriarch – don’t forget to capitalize names, as those are proper nouns. You forget that several times in the story]

Genma moaned dramaticly


waking in preperation


between the partisipents


Ha, your slipping


to you at all.”


a good tow-thirds


keep youself on guard


to say is wasn’t


prepared and vigilent.


The one-shot that started this was excellent, and yet this seemed short and didn’t really go anywhere new. A terrible pity that you left this story incomplete, especially as good as the one-shot was. I hope you come back to this some day, but as long as it’s been the prospects don’t look good given the time passed.
ms2 ultimate chapter 1 . 8/26/2005 was okay...but what was the plot? and it's not your fault (it's technicly mine...did i spell that wrong?) but i didnt really understand that at all! (I'm not that bright...wa.)
Drakus chapter 1 . 7/20/2005
interesting, i think i'll go look up that other story now.
The Eromancer chapter 1 . 7/20/2005
cool, update!
Ysolde chapter 1 . 7/20/2005
I liked the original well enough. Let's see how this new history plays out...
Wonderbee31 chapter 1 . 7/20/2005
This is looking very interesting, and I can't wait to see how things change from the usual canon.