Reviews for The Meeting A Bad Braclet Story
Ganheim chapter 1 . 1/12/2010
“Japenesse”

Chinesse

[I see typos, or plain spelling errors]

walking quite capeably

[capably]

on it’s hind legs

[its]

she was shot and

[a short]

about this either boy

[either,]

had revenge inhis

[in his]

sights but the guide

[sights,]

japenesse,

[Spelling/capitalization: Japanese]

There was an estabolished

[established]

lay a decent pile of long burning wood

[of fire logs?]

Pleased the two

[Pleased,]

customers pocessed an

[possessed]

unearhly amount of stamina

[unearthly]

with much hestience,

[hesitance]

Joketsuzoku, the amazon village.

[Erroneous: Joketsuzoku means “tribe of women heroes”, the village itself is “Nyanchizu”, though the transliteration is uncertain]

Amazons are not know

[known]

time since een her

[seen]

it didn’t effect him

[I think this should be “affect”]

and uncerimoniously dumped

[unceremoniously]

a decnet portion

[decent]

and tender leaving him

[tender,]

downed saotome patriach

[Saotome patriarch – don’t forget to capitalize names, as those are proper nouns. You forget that several times in the story]

Genma moaned dramaticly

[dramatically]

waking in preperation

[preparation]

between the partisipents

[participants]

Ha, your slipping

[you’re]

to you at all.”

[all?]

a good tow-thirds

[two]

keep youself on guard

[yourself]

to say is wasn’t

[it]

prepared and vigilent.

[vigilant]

The one-shot that started this was excellent, and yet this seemed short and didn’t really go anywhere new. A terrible pity that you left this story incomplete, especially as good as the one-shot was. I hope you come back to this some day, but as long as it’s been the prospects don’t look good given the time passed.
ms2 ultimate chapter 1 . 8/26/2005
um...it was okay...but what was the plot? and it's not your fault (it's technicly mine...did i spell that wrong?) but i didnt really understand that at all! (I'm not that bright...wa.)
Drakus chapter 1 . 7/20/2005
interesting, i think i'll go look up that other story now.
The Eromancer chapter 1 . 7/20/2005
cool, update!
Ysolde chapter 1 . 7/20/2005
I liked the original well enough. Let's see how this new history plays out...
Wonderbee31 chapter 1 . 7/20/2005
This is looking very interesting, and I can't wait to see how things change from the usual canon.