|Reviews for Felix Felicis|
| Trinity Day chapter 5 . 1/28/2006
The Lily/James bits are oh-so sweet. I really mean it. Adorable.
| Trinity Day chapter 3 . 10/15/2005
I'm still reading this, albeit at a snail's pace, because I really like the way you write the interaction between the boys. I know I said it before, but it's worth repeating.
| Olisa chapter 5 . 10/10/2005
Please mention pie in your story somewhere! Please! I like pie, you see.
| atuin chapter 1 . 9/21/2005
Its AWESOME Ash. I already told you that. And have been lazy about the whole logging into here, don't unless I'm reviewing ;) so I've never reviewed. But its AWESOMELY AWESOME
| Trinity Day chapter 2 . 7/27/2005
Watch out for switching POVs (it seemed to go from James to Peter without warning in the first little section), but other than that I have nothing to say. Especially since someone else pointed out the proper punctuation marks needed in speech.
| Maxie Fonseca chapter 1 . 7/22/2005
-jumps up and down- I luff it, Ashey xD KEEP WRITING! And how can you say yours isn't good? Mine isn't better, dear xP
| Trinity Day chapter 1 . 7/21/2005
This is a very, good start. You've a nice, easy style of writing, having the boys act in quite a natural manner.
| PrincessSkywalkerOrgana chapter 4 . 7/21/2005
| Lipglossnblack chapter 3 . 7/21/2005
hey loving the story! PLEASE, review my stories... my newest can be found here but major spoilers for HBP...
| NumbuhZero chapter 3 . 7/21/2005
That was cool!
But... I was pretty confused at some points.
Did everyone get potions and drink them, or was it just James?
Some of the girl names sounded like boy names, and thus cunfounded me even further.
-Queen of the Gnomes,
| Alice Dodgson chapter 1 . 7/21/2005
Hey, this is really well-written! I stumbled upon it because I was curious about how soon it would be before HBP-themed fanfic stories were up, and yours is the best one I've come across so far. You've done a good job of keeping the Marauders in character. And this part made me giggle outloud:
'James frowned. Why wouldn't she ever talk about him? Oh how he longed for the day when he and Lily would be sitting out near the lake, talking and enjoying a lunch together...nobody around to bother them...no Sirius yelling "Prongs! Hey! Look!"
"Prongs! Hey! Look!" '
I have only a few constructive criticisms. First of all, although I stand by my earlier statement that your Marauders are mostly in character, I think that Remus seems a tiny bit too Hermione-like in that he keeps trying to keep Sirius and James out of trouble - such as in the scene where he says, "You realize how much trouble we'd be in? Vandalizing school property, I can see Filch's face now." Remember, we learned from "Order of the Phoenix" that Remus usually just passively sat back and watched Padfoot and Prongs carry on with their mischief, instead of intervening. I think your Remus would be a tiny bit more in character if he gave a disapproving look but said nothing. Remember, he IS a Marauder, so he has to like getting into trouble a little bit. :)
Also, one grammatical error that keeps popping up: in your dialogue, you tend to use a period between lines of dialogue and "So-and-So said," such as in this example: ' "Yeah." Sirius replied, a thrilled look flashing across his face.' That period after 'Yeah' should be a comma instead.
Other than those two things, however, I think this is a story that is off to a wonderful start. I look forward to reading your other chapters!
| x-woman1 chapter 3 . 7/21/2005
i love the marauders too! great story!
| Ada C. Eliana chapter 3 . 7/20/2005
Wow, that was a quick update, when I got back to the 'just in - new stories' page this fic was already gone! Well, don't worry, I found it quite easily.
Haha, Sirius is such a doofus, but I mean that in the nicest way possible, since he is very awesome. Him stealing the potion was funny. I think you did a great job on the characterization of the characters, even though we only got a glimpse of the Marauders as teenagers, a way too short glimpse!
Anyway, good job!
| Ada C. Eliana chapter 1 . 7/20/2005
Haha, Sirius has to be the best of all of the 'Harry Potter' characters, I just love that guy. Anyway, great first chapter. I think the fanfics about the Marauder's are particularly fun because the writers don't have to try and predict the events in the next book, etc. Anyhow, good job, and I hope you continue this!