|Reviews for New Master of the Art|
| darkyshana chapter 9 . 12/10/2011
the only part that i didn't like was the mouse being his husband part
| Drifter950 chapter 13 . 8/5/2009
First off, I really am enjoying your story. "I" think the concept, brand new to me, is well thought out. I also think it is well plotted, and written. The flow of your story is very smooth, like the dance of the battles you describe.
The presentation of the challenge first, the background second, and then the results/fallout made a lot sense. You grab our interest with humor and battle, "then" go on to the more serious stuff.
Tho I had to remember to keep my cackling after midnight restrained (it is now 2:15 am, and counting). My wife is a past master at showing me that she likes her sleep uninterrupted (after the whack to the back of the head, I have to wake early to make a "very good" breakfast).
Like a number of others, I think, I have wondered why the canon author did not end the story like this. The options were all there in the original story. All it needed was allowing Ranma to bring his battle genius into his personal life. Even those of us that can't put together a complete story to save our lives, could see it.
How and when did Akane learn to start use KI completely, instead of wood, in her hammers?
I am wondering whether the pandafied thief is there to learn or steel. What Master Chu does to him should be, Chinese curse, interesting.
Considering the size of the temple/dojo and all the students, I also wonder if Master Chu has the power and skill to spot that there is something off with the panda, aside it is not in a zoo?
? Do the Tendos have a license to keep a panda?
I offer the idea that you include the comment in your story description that reviewers (me at least)say it gets better the deeper you get into the story and is well worth the read. Then offer a better plot description at the start of the first chapter. I honestly think it up the number of reviews.
Alternate idea, Umm, you could add, see reader blurb at beginning of 1st ch, then put my recommendation there. Course this depends on whether you don't see me as a big pain somewhere, and hit delete.
I like to copy good stories to share with my kids who can't afford the net. Although I never done it before I'll try to correct the errors I find, and then send them through to you using your profile e-mail. I use Word Perfect for writing. It does spell checks and grammatics very well. If you have Microsoft word, friends that use it tell that it's spellchecker/grammatics packages are very good to. I convert to to wordpad before sending anything on. Less chance of the formatting getting screwed. Oh, I'll try to put the changes in a different colors to make them a bit easier to spot and to kick out if they screw up what you are trying to get across.
Thanks for a very fun and intriguing story, I look forward to seeing where you go with it.
May the MUSE always be with you!
| TheHard chapter 13 . 12/17/2008
You know, it was really a good idea to write all those flashback chapters, 'cuz now I really think is a good story :)
Hope you can continue soon
| peregrine829 chapter 6 . 4/15/2008
This story has definite potential, but your grammer and syntax are utterly atrocious. When its not stiff and overly formal, your sentence structure is rather incomprehensible. Please find a beta to loosen and clarify your language.
| Excel chapter 13 . 3/29/2008
| Tigger-69 chapter 13 . 3/29/2008
It is good to see both Soun and Akane with a different attitude. It is good to see that Soun has finally been allowed to come out of his depression and show a little of what he is truely capable of, and Akane is using skills developed with Ranma rather than just Anger and Mallet, except of course against Genma, who I guess is hiding because of something he has done to these masters.
The whole story is still developing nicely adding another layer with each chapter and never letting our interests waiver. Each of the old characters is reintroduce with a new part to play in the continuing life of Ranma, and a new way to look at themselves and each other.
A great stroy and I am grateful that it is being continue and hope you wil keep writing such good stories.
| dogbertcarroll chapter 2 . 3/27/2008
Excellent work. Very subtle planning on Ranma's part. Surprised Nabiki wasn't in on the planning for something like that.
| Wonderbee31 chapter 13 . 3/26/2008
Fun to see a fairly competent Akane, and can't wait to see how things will play out with her training, along with Soun and Genma.
| Wonderbee31 chapter 12 . 3/26/2008
Well, looks like plans are coming together, and will be interesting to see how they work out in the long run.
| Jigoku no Yami chapter 11 . 2/11/2008
you must update...this is so fregin awsome. I want to see what Troubles Ranma/Higimu can congure
| Drackmord chapter 2 . 1/14/2008
The gratuitous capitalization detracts from the readability.
| ApocSM chapter 11 . 6/14/2007
WOW! I LOVE THIS STORY, MUY BUENO! YOU DID A SUPERB JOB ON THE PLOT! UPDATE REAL SOON!
| Fasor chapter 11 . 11/16/2006
funny story :)
| Guarded Sentinel chapter 6 . 6/30/2006
The idea in this story is good. That is the only redeeming quality. Some of my many complaints:
1. Grammer, spelling, punctuation, capitalization. All of your chapters seem to be just brainstorms, and then posted straight onto the internet.
2. I can see Ranma teaching a lesosn, and maybe even beating the crap out of them. But having 2 wives, and a husband? Completely OOC, you might as well have made up your own character. Even the speech patterns were not even slightly emulated.
3. NORMAL. WRITING. CONVENTIONS. See number 1.
4. Again, TWO wives? I cannot see this, even in an AU. Ranma's honor code just seems to go against it.
5. Nabiki and Ranma falling in love in less than one paragraph? No way.
Example of number 1 and number 3:
Quote, direct from chapter 6:
Ranma faded into view, looking about for Witteness. Nodding to his sister, he stepped over and kissed Nabiki under the ear. "I see you have made up." the girl shivered under his touch.
Translated into English:
Ranma faded into view, looking about for witnesses. Nodding to his new sister, Ukyo, he stepped over to Nabiki and kissed her under the ear.
"You guys made up yet?," he asked cheerfully/affectionatly Nabiki shivered excitedly under his touch.
See what I mean? I am by no means perfect, but this writing, for lack of a better term, is crap. For the sake of your story, go study an English course. People will thank you for it.
PS: Don't be too discouraged. You can easily learn to write better English. You have the plot (which is the main battle, for me at least), now all you need is to convey it well.
| Tigger-69 chapter 11 . 6/14/2006
Fantastic story, I love the twists and changes for this continuation of the original.
It is good to see Ranma grow from his confrontation with Safron and learn a new art. The hijinks are as amusing as anything from the original and I look froward to seeing the various wooing and training that will ensue.
Please keep writing.