|Reviews for MSKY|
| digitalmonster911 chapter 3 . 7/25/2007
YOU. BETTER. WRITE. THE. NEXT. CHAPTER. SOON.
| Pulchritudinous Gal chapter 3 . 12/17/2006
please update soon _
this is michi and sorato right?
| The Bunny Queen chapter 3 . 7/12/2006
hi again! i loved it! but i don't know which story ur talking about. so i hope ur well and uhh...keep writing, there it is.
| hawtxmonkeyz chapter 2 . 7/12/2006
I juss luv dis story!
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!
Soon plz! lolz
| hello heartbreak chapter 2 . 9/24/2005
This is interesting. But I think Yolie should be Yolei? I'm not sure. _
| Kay chapter 2 . 9/13/2005
Lol! Loved it! Please update soon!
| Kay chapter 2 . 8/9/2005
lol! Loved it! Please update sooN!
| The Bunny Queen chapter 2 . 8/8/2005
i just love this story and I hope you finish it soon!
| XxIntoTheDarknessxX chapter 2 . 8/8/2005
great story so far i feel bad for them for whats going to happen next oh well !
| brianzacharyngo chapter 1 . 8/5/2005
Hey Continue dis story too... Your really talented from my opinion...
| Lina chapter 1 . 7/25/2005
Hey ur story was really good update soon! ur very talented
| xomichiox97 chapter 1 . 7/25/2005
Hey xSoratox i really like your story! PLease continue asap
| Wishinstahhz chapter 1 . 7/25/2005
great chapter so far but remember wat i told u and i'll help u as much as i can . u kept deleting and remaking them T_T u can fix them by replacing the chapters .
| Cloaked Fox chapter 1 . 7/24/2005
Aww, damn it, I had a perfect concrit ready for this and you yanked it and I lost it! Oh, well, I'll just have to start over. Let's get going.
First off, you could have a better name for their band, instead of something unpronouceable that's just the first letters of their dub names. How about "Vapid Whores" or "Half-Naked Sluts" or "For Rent"? Since that's what their outfits proclaim them to be. So, when Yolei is doing those drum solos, how often does this half-shirt fly up to show off her tits? Or did you think about that?
Never, EVER put song lyrics you didn't write yourself into a fanfic on this website. It's against the rules. I'm going to have to report you.
Instead of an infodump about how the band began...SHOW IT. Actually WRITE IT OUT. In detail. In many chapters of detail. Including how they started to learn how to play the instruments, and how many years they practiced before they were actually any good at it. Music isn't something you just magically pick up overnight. It takes EFFORT. Lots and lots of effort.
So, why didn't they go sign autographs? Or did they just have a stack of them presigned that was handed out to everyone?
If this strange person wanted people to be in his "new band"...where is this band? If it's a new band, that implies it ALREADY EXISTED when he met them. So, in their first in public performance...no one got stage fright? No one hit a wrong chord or missed a beat or forgot the words or came in late on a chorus?
You don't just "become a star". How old were they? Under 21? Then their parents needed to give permission before they did anything like signing a contract. How long have they been doing this? Have they recorded any albums? How many tours have they went on? How are they dealing with the pressure of being in the spotlight CONSTANTLY?
When you're famous, you have no privacy. Are they such perfect, flawless marble statues that there's NOTHING someone couldn't dig up on them and splash all over the tabloids? In fact, they wouldn't need to. If someone just goes swimming, pictures can be taken and altered and the next thing you know, it's all over the papers that so and so of "MSKY" is sunbathing nude. Whether it happened or not.
Why would a Battle of the Bands have a DATE with ANOTHER BAND as a prize? Wouldn't they be more likely to have a music contract and a cash prize? Something that a band would WANT? That kind of prize is something you find in the teen magazines, not something for MUSICIANS.
I notice that they're screaming to go on a date with these guys before they've seen a picture. How much more airheaded can you GET? Do they WANT to be all over the papers?
How could Sora have the authority to arrange a backstage meeting? What would they tell the guys? "Some girls who have never met you but are fans want to come backstage." Yeah, I'm sure they just LOVE the feeling of screaming fangirls ripping their clothes off and trying to molest them. And they would have NO OTHER IMPRESSION OF THEM. They wouldn't even have a picture, if these girls have to go to a BATTLE OF THE BANDS. That implies they don't even have a contract, really.
And how would she know who to call? That's something their MANAGER or Public Relations person would arrange. How did she get their number?
Not to mention the guys might possibly want to REST after their concert. Those things are HARD. After you perform for HOURS AND HOURS, you are EXHAUSTED. You want to sleep, not smooze for the cameras and fangirls some more.
Now, for your author notes. I'll explain why you don't need each one, and why they should all be taken out.
"Song not mine": As I said, don't put in lyrics you didn't write. You are reported for that.
"Yeah this is lame I know"): I'll take this in two parts, because it's hard to figure out just what you mean. If you presume the thought of a Battle of the Bands determining a date is lame...yes, yes it is. For one thing, what if a MALE group won? Did that cross your mind? Are the "Rushing Devils" the only male group in the entire world? If these girls are so awesome they're going to win, shouldn't they be TOO awesome to enter in the FIRST PLACE? Because someone would've already offered them a contract.
Now, if you mean the band name is lame..yes, yes it is. How about "Personalityless Idiots" or "Only Wanting A Pretty Face, Not A Personality" or "Single, Looking, Faking Being A Musician"? Any of those would work, since they're apparently no more interested in being serious about their music than these vapid idiots posing as the Chosen Girls are.
"Pretend that Kari is not related": No. No, No I won't. Not when them BEING siblings could bring SO much more to the plot (unless, of course, the plot is just "who snogs who fastest and first"). With Taichi's protective streak, seeing his little sister in a rival band could be absolutely ENTHRALLING.
"Sorry for swearing": You're writing a T-rated story. You can swear. Don't apologize. Some of us actually use those words (gasp!) in real life! Or even more of them sometimes! Usually when we see poorly done dreck like this.
Do a LOT more research on how bands work before you try this, my dear childling. It isn't all sunshine and rainbows. It's WORK. Ever notice that celebrity marriages tend not to work out? There's REASONS for that.