Reviews for BreakDown
Starkiller Jedi Knight chapter 41 . 5/2/2009
Freakin' awesome story, this story was just as good as the game... good job
AnimeFanReader01 chapter 41 . 1/16/2008
Nice story, I am sorely dissapointed in the lack of Breakdown stories though. I think it was a pretty good game, and their were more than a few characters to play around with. I am thinking about trying my hand at a Breakdown/Naruto crossover. I was thinking that if I did, would you allow me to reference your story as a prequel? It would save me a whole lot of writing. This is my idea, keep in mind that it is long. The version of what I want to write is when Sasuke defects, Naruto and the team is sent after him. When the Chidori and Rasengan meet when they are both at their strongest(1-tail Naruto and Demon Sasuke), it tears a temporary hole in reality. Naruto is sent to the Breakdown universe where he stumbles upon Alex and Derrik. They have been losing the fight against Nexus, and it was only a matter of time before it won. Even though Derrick was a super-badass, Nexus just sent too many T'lan warriors and behemoths, along with everything else it had, at them for them to get close enough to destroy it. They were being dismantled by a group of 20 behemoths when Naruto appeared in a portal. He stumbles out, and dispite his wounds, tries to save them. He is only able to bring their attention away from Derrick and Alex long enough for them to escape, but he isn't able to get through their shields. They double back, hoping to get behind the T'lan before Naruto is killed, but they are too late. They find Naruto in a large pool of his own blood, looking like he had been tenderized with a mountain. The T'lan are gone, and since they feel bad about Naruto dying for them, they decide to give him a proper burial even though they really don't have the time to do it. When they try to move him, they find him barely clinging to life. They take him back to Ogawa, who by now is healthier, but still old. Ogawa explains that Derrick is the only one of the right blood type to give Naruto a transfusion. Even though there are dangers to the procedure, they go through with it. Naruto soon recovers and discovers he now has the same abilities as Derrick. Also, he can't age(dimensional time-distortion factor). He is mentored by Derrick for a few months, maybe longer in order for them to start to beat back the T'lan. (Hey, who knew Kage Bushin would get so much use.) After he helps them defeat the T'lan, the Pendulum effect finally takes him back to the Valley of the End(He has a bracelet, Ogawa created it, to negate the Pendulum effect that both he and Derrick wear that he takes off). Only a few minutes have passed in his world, while a lot of time has passed in the Breakdown universe. I am debating what to do with Sasuke when he is sent somewhere, but I think I might send him to Michael Jackson's house for a few months, or maybe to South Park's hell. When Naruto gets back, Sasuke has a serious fear of people with long black hair, pale skin, and plastic surgery. This leads to Sasuke begging to be allowed to come back to Konoha. When they get back, Naruto will have a bloodline limit. So, do you think it would be a good idea? I'll even let you co-author if you want to. Later.
Setesh chapter 41 . 6/8/2007
That was one great game, too bad almost nobody knew about it. Anyways good job, I enjoyed your telling of the tale almost as much as I enjoyed playing the actual game.
Kendoka Girl chapter 41 . 9/12/2006
The shattering of the Nexus was very cool.

Your whole use of the time and dimension was excellent and made for some great moments and twists. The ending brought it all together - great work.
Kendoka Girl chapter 40 . 9/9/2006
Great depiction of how the nexus manipulates things. Poor Derrick doesn't know what's what.
Kendoka Girl chapter 39 . 9/2/2006
Excellent on the whole time warp theme. The fight between Solus and Derrick was outstanding.

Just remember, it's a magazine, not a clip. :)
Kendoka Girl chapter 38 . 8/31/2006
Glad to see Glen back.

The whole time/destiny thing was very cool.
Kendoka Girl chapter 37 . 8/26/2006
I just played this Silent Hill game at Dave and Busters and your story has the same feel for action. I'm catching up!
Kendoka Girl chapter 36 . 8/20/2006
Man, those bugs are gross.

Great reunion. This is going to get wild.

I'm out for a week to Cali. See you in the flip side.
Kendoka Girl chapter 35 . 8/18/2006
Whoa, that was freaky! Great plot twist.
Kendoka Girl chapter 34 . 8/16/2006
Yah, I knew she'd come back. Actually, I didn't. Great job. I see a little romance budding.
Kendoka Girl chapter 33 . 8/10/2006
Oh man! Gianni bought it too. Intense action.
Afro-Rican chapter 35 . 8/4/2006
I really like how Derrick has his own take on the events that weren't really explained in the game such as how he feels about the time-slip and such good job expressing the hero
Pope-Man chapter 1 . 8/2/2006
I have to say, I liked the detail and emotion you put into the characters. And I've read more than chapter 1, I just came back and immediately hit Submit Review. Either way, there's only one major problem I have with this story. You're just telling what happens in the game. There's no real originality to it or anything, you're just telling the story that's already been done and adding tiny changes to it. If people want the story, they can play the game. This isn't dissing your story anything, I think you did a good job with detail and such but it doens't make a whole lot of sense that you just tell the same story that people who have played the game will know.

Kendoka Girl chapter 32 . 7/24/2006
Good to go. Poor Derrick's getting hit from all sides.

My only comment would come on the time transition for the one hour. I can't think of a suggestion for a better way though.

I'm out for a month on deployment. My cousin will be manning my site and stories.

See you on the flip side.
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