|Reviews for What Evil Lurks|
| StarStreakedSky chapter 7 . 8/11/2012
This is amazing. Really. I haven't actually read The Sandman (and I'm assuming you must be really sick of reading that) but this is brilliant, original, and I'm pretty sure it's one heck of a crossover too :D but one question...
Are you still working on this story? I mean, I can understand why you would forget about it completely, as that has happened plenty of times before, but it would really suck if you just gave up. But still... I'll keep hope that one day, maybe you might add another chapter :)
| XxAngry-Evil-PoptartsxX chapter 7 . 6/13/2011
I had the pleasure of reading this once before, and now will be the opportunity to finally review this!
I don't know when or if you'll decide to update this; but I hope you do.
| craizypet chapter 7 . 5/26/2011
love it! great job! i dont get the references... cause i dont know anything about sandman... but hey! all good, enjoying the ride anyway!
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/11/2011
I don't know what happened to you or this wonderfully chilling story but I beg of you to come back and finish what you started my friend.
| serasvictoria666 chapter 7 . 1/14/2011
wow this fic is amazing! i see it's been a while since you updated it, but i hope you still have plans to continue it. take care! -
| Creed of fallen angels chapter 2 . 12/16/2010
The little girl's name is Delirium. Or Delight. I read about her in the graphic novel At Death's Door that referenced Sandman. (I haven't actually read Sandman yet) I am enjoying this story so far. Thank you.
| RobRae4Ever chapter 7 . 11/7/2010
Simply the best Rob/Rae I ever read. And I already read a lot. Can you please continue? Its too good for being unfinished.
| Guest chapter 7 . 10/12/2010
Bravo man. Best piece of fanfiction I've seen about hands down, nice spin on the mask with the Corinthian. One complaint however is the random capitalization here and there. One reccomnd starfire/robin piece is the e'ara continuity by kryalla orchid, an Aussie like me :D
| littlematchgirl chapter 1 . 5/5/2010
Awesome story! You should definitely complete it!
| Gannent chapter 2 . 4/10/2010
I lost it on that author's note! so hilarious... hahaha
| pirogeth chapter 7 . 2/17/2010
freaking great, another awesome story that wont be finished, fuck, and it was so good too, if you ever read the updates or decide to finish please do, damnit you left me hanging and i want more, oh well hope you update later yo
| Ganheim chapter 7 . 10/24/2009
Still, regardless of the unexpected changes they undergo, you can't stop loving them. They're a part of you.
[Signs that you are truly a writer. Frustrating, and yet you wouldn’t let it go for the world]
I will NEVER understand the flame wars about pairings.
[One reason: people don’t understand the pairing, and humans fear the unknown. Sounds petty and irrational (especially when you’re talking about fictitious events), but that’s how humans are]
When she had remarked to Robin once that he was a ball of gas in whose emanations she wished to linger,
Elinu Este tulin Este Estenan, elinu este fingwe elino.
Your light is the light of the Sun, your light completes me.
[That’s funny, even more for me as a linguist and I’ve seen/made that mistake numerous times myself]
she understood friendship. The burden was not too much for her to bear.
[A rare person, but it seems to truly reflect Starfire]
Even though she flew, Raven could never really understand that concept. Some invisible chains kept Raven bound even as she escaped the bonds of earth,
[True, which is interesting as I’d never really thought of it]
the sorcoresses body
[sorceress’ or sorceress’s, I prefer the former for its brevity]
And the King
[Missing opening quote marks]
(A/N: I'm sure some of you out there can sympathize. Hehe.).
[Parentheticals, especially author’s notes, shouldn’t go within a chapter. They detract from narrative flow]
Courage, in particular was being physically restrained
[Either too many or not enough commas]
His voice was a silken glove containing an iron fist
[_wearing_ or _wielding_ an iron fist?]
"What can you build out of dust and shadows?"
[An empire. Just be warned that to dust and shadows it will one day return, no blood will mortar it forever]
by silent concensus,
This was really strange (a lot of that is that I’m unfamiliar with the crossover you’re using, and lack the resources to investigate it on my own), but as far as the Teen Titans the writing was excellent. History solid, characters well portrayed and while not stuck in their canon rails were still very sensibly themselves. Darkness without going overboard, the only thing that I thought was pointlessly obligatory was the profanity, though surprisingly the rest of the story was good enough to ignore that. Pity that you’ve stopped writing.
| Ganheim chapter 6 . 10/24/2009
Morally uplifted perhaps, perhaps even noble
[Repetition of ‘perhaps’]
All she saw when she looked into him was the calm quietude of her own heart.
[An interesting way to put it, although I never figured Raven to be particularly interested in Robin. Still, you go on to put things in a very believable way (except implying that he’s perfect, he’s cracked before in more than one of the arcs with Slade)]
It seemed so much of her life's enjoyment she stole vicariously from the accounts of others.
"They only have as much power over you as you let them, you know."
[Sometimes. Some terrors follow from waking into sleep…]
"I THINK, Raven, that your father is going to win one day because despite the rightness of your cause and the purity and nobility of your soul... you have nothing. You are nothing, because you will allow yourself nothing, and you have no one to fight for."
[A stinging, yet not caustic, remark]
with her telekinesis and psychometry powers.
[I know she’s telekinetic, but I don’t believe that she’s psychometric]
a contant source
the Boy Wonder held everyone at a courteous, but distinct distance.
[Sometimes even not so courteous, but the point remains quite true]
indication of wanted to
Cyborg winced. "Ouch... that's hitting blow the belt, Rob."
"Don't dish it out if you can't take it, bro." Robin remarked calmly,
[That does indeed sound like their banter]
shalt though review
[‘though shalt’, actually]
wiping his hair free
[Because, you know, the _face_ must not have any sweat on it]
if I didn't know everything about you... including the threat you might represent?"
[What, did they have a database he could look it up from? I thought the information genuinely wasn’t available]
You appear to be in the dumps."
[She uses puns like this?]
love the children into pieces?
[I don’t think this fits Starfire’s speech patterns]
Kids aren't stupid,
and the the wind
strange meeting woud
a wierd, lilting
screwed up part is, half of 'em are really good.
[Talent is not bordered by age]
If you don't like the series you are seriously just...
I didn't wanna just NAME her...
[You may not have strictly needed to, but remember that when you write a crossover there’s going to be an audience mainly familiar with one fandom and largely clueless about the other. That’s my challenge in writing The Best Laid Plans (it’s got a lot of fandoms that I want everybody to understand)]
Raven had given up trying to remember when the term Nevermore had come to her
[Edgar Allen Poe?]
I see's em. Brown scowled
[I think quote marks are missing after ‘em’]
form of Beast Boy Cyborg
[Missing comma after ‘boy’]
lift a little.
[Missing closing quote mark]
Did Scarlet move!"
[Interrogative missing its question mark]
In any case will not
memory seems fuzze
A single girl, and the Azarathian equivalent of a steamer trunk.
with thick insulated gloves
[Missing comma after ‘thick’]
of it's kind
That was, after all, what the Grimoire did.
[If it simply undoes things, would it not equally destroy “good” and “evil”?]
The Oneiromancer, also called Morpheus, also Oneiros.
Raven wrinkled her nose at the obtuse language. Was she reading that right? The phrase she was familiar with was Sed fugit interea, fugit irreparabile tempus. Or, "Meanwhile the irreplaceable time flies". Shortened in recent years to simply Tempus Fugit, or "Time Flies." Tempus Frangit didn't make much sense.
[Nice to see a little linguistic exploration]
that it's true immensity
"Didn't mean to scare the sheep out of you."
[The vast majority of your earlier profanity seems ‘gratuitous’, but this oblique reference is actually pretty funny]
quick shots from the street howitzer
[Never heard that particular colloquialism for a shotgun]
BB... Starfire, get those hostages OUT
[As she can phase herself and others through walls, wouldn’t Raven be a good choice for getting the hostages quickly and safely out]
saving off a couple
useless arm dangling uselessly at his side.
[Repetition of ‘useless’]
Robin cocked his head like a wolf. "What makes you think I won't?"
her Empathy was largely untrained... suppressed for the danger that it was. She avoided human contact for this reason.
[Concise, clear way of putting it]
Starfire blushed prettily, releasing him and hovering nearby, her arms demurely clasped behind her back.
[I could tell early on that you aren’t writing a RobinStarfire fic, but lines like this do a good job of showing your dedication to keeping people true to form and not simply ripping things in and out of character]
Robin looked at her, a calculating... no, perhaps that term is too harsh... a measuring look on his face.
"I find that I am often clueless, but I believe burdens should be shared."
[Starfire…would definitely say this]
[This isn’t the only spacing suddenly dropped in this paragraph, and because of that I’m not sure if it’s intentional. If it is, it doesn’t seem to fit. If it isn’t, then it might as well be recitified]
"Not while monsters like you and me can face it for them."
[Very characteristic of Robin]
sudden striking non-sequitor.
[I think there’s some punctuation missing there, but otherwise it’s worded very well]
she could still feel it, a slight conduit into the inner workings of the mysterious, familiar stranger before her.
[Although your writing and characterization has been excellent, I want to point out that Robin, like many, is actually remarkably transparent most of the time. His anger, frustration, guilt, even quickly smothered smugness is pretty freely broadcast. Fortunately, your manner of portrayal does not sharply deviate from canon]
hidden away in her hearts,
[her heart? I don’t know about Raven’s physiology]
because monsters don't cry, do they?"
[I could say either “yes we do” or point to Vanilla Ninja’s “Wherever”, in particular the line “You’re even lying / When you’re crying / Because your heart / Is filled with hate”]
crime outof sheermad spitethat
"And when he had opened the second and a half seal, I heard the second beast groan come and see. And there went out another horse that was green; and would not shut the hell up, and to whom all, including the Gothic Maiden was emotionally tied, and she did smite the world, in her mercy."
[Ah, where would we be without irreverence for good religious humour?]
Empathy gave her insight into what he was feeling but she wasn't a mind reader.
[And you’re doing a good job of showing that. Many people have written characters that were supposed to have empathy, but the author got lazy and it devolved into virtual telepathy]
if this chapter stands out as a shining example of my writing, that a good 50 percent of the blame goes to her.
[Interesting way of putting it]
He understood what it was to watch from the shadows and deny one’s true self for fear of what it might turn into.
[It is indeed a difficult life, made more difficult by the fact that most people outside refuse to see it and thereby make things harder for us]
one of this messenger
As they neared the warehouse, light became apparent,
[Shouldn’t they be able to make out light coming from the shutters, if just from it shining on the ground? It’s night, so there’s not going to be much ambient light]
The universe didn’t care.
[ It doesn’t tend to. That’s why ? was right]
“Hemlock’s a common plant in certain black witchcraft and black vodoun practices chiefly because it is very easy to find and easily administered to an unwilling victim... but more importantly, before it kills, leaves the victim in a pliable but still... aware state.”
[Good homework, if grisly]
controlling ones fine
explanation for this Boy Wonder
[Missing comma after ‘this’]
-Am I flirting!-
[Interrogative missing its question mark]
she drew away, using the support bar for its intended purpose and a little bit more. Implacable as always, Robin stood his ground.
[Succinct and well put]
She took a stubborn step into the hallway and collapsed in a crumpled heap facedown.
“It’s not such a bad floor.”
“I always LISTEN to you, Raven. You should know by now that how I interpret what I hear is another matter entirely.”
[Reminds me of another line: “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand”]
| heartless16 chapter 7 . 8/5/2009
love this story so much!
| Spicy Sweet chapter 7 . 5/2/2009
hey there...wow that was one of the best fics i have ever read...shesh my heat is pounding...the writing is excellent...i am so lucky i found this fic when i did cuz i havent found a teen titan story that was anywhere near this good...i love and i mean love the way you made robins character he is so badass...and i love the suble way your bringing the charcters together...i hate it when its rushed cuz then it doesnt seem real...oh and i like how you didnt make starfire shallow like everyone else seems to keep doing...i actually like her in this...oh and i was laughing so hard with the johanny rancid part...when he was like born to be bad...lol...omg that wasthebest ever...i love how your fic is so funny but action packed and romantic...ep im giggling like a little school girl...ok so imagine my shock when i see that you havent updated in years...so im going to guess that your really really busy or that you lost interest in this story...ugh well let me tell you that even though its been a while im asking that maybe youll start up this fic again cuz i really want to see where you were going with this fic...sigh i know its a lot to ask but just so you know their are still fans like me reading your amayzing storyy and loving it soo maybe hope isn't lost...anyhow take care and keep writing