Reviews for Kana: Tadaima
pinkperson chapter 1 . 8/7/2013
Beautiful writing. :) Loved it. You brought so much depth to the character and situation that the visual novel lacked.
terabient chapter 1 . 8/5/2005
the second i saw this section, i knew you must have something in it.

writing about loss and its aftermath has a tendency to become overly sentimental and angsty instead of saddening, but your portrayal of takamichi never crosses that line; while the chapter is short it hits hard. the use of environment - the abandoned futon, the tasteless instant food, the whole 'surrounded by people but still alone' quality inherent in a large city - to underscore taka's sense of isolation is especially effective.

on the technical end of things...there's a tendency for the narration to fall into some of the common pitfalls associated with first-person writing, most noticably in the overuse of 'I'. and though there's nothing technically wrong grammatically (aside from some awkward use of the semicolon and unecessary capitalization), the way in which you structure sentences doesn't vary much and becomes a little repetitive.

however, these are fairly minor quibbles and don't really take away much from the atmosphere evoked.

happy writing!
TigerEyes2 chapter 1 . 7/28/2005
Niisan first off let me say I am honored that you dedicated this fic to me for my birthday Kana was a touching story indeed and I know how much it meant to you. I am truly honored.

Your writing as usual never fails to impress me. The style is great and I am loving that it is in first person. I know you have been really busy of late but I am really looking forward to reading more of this *grins*

Thanks so very much for the gift.

ImotoChan TigerEyes2
Praeses04 chapter 1 . 7/25/2005
Wow...I'm glad to see some fanfiction actually exists for this game, as it has by far the most touching storyline I've ever played. Anyway, your first chapter is well written and I look forward to more, Good luck w/ur writing and please give your story some closure in the future...ending 1 was definitely too bittersweet considering it was supposed to be the "good" ending...