|Reviews for Travis' Secret|
| melrose465 chapter 8 . 10/10/2008
good plz continue
| incurrents chapter 7 . 4/22/2008
| melrose465 chapter 7 . 4/22/2008
| incurrents chapter 6 . 1/26/2008
I dont know what happens next.
Yes, You should continue the story because it rocks.
If it took two years to get six chapters up I think theres still hope to update
| Bad Girl Trickster chapter 6 . 7/6/2007
I got to say I was so relieved when I got the email saying you had FINALLY updated. just one little thing, you have kinda changed your writting style slightly...I think. Any way good work can't wait to see read the outcome.
| Bad Girl Trickster chapter 5 . 12/12/2006
Heya! YAY omg thanx for continuing. I really wanna no whats going to happen. I love this story it is so different and original to others I have read. can't wait for your next chapter.
| Bad Girl Trickster chapter 4 . 11/15/2006
I've been woundering, when are you going to update this story cos I really like it. I really like how you write and set out your stories.
| Bad Girl Trickster chapter 1 . 10/29/2006
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE up date this! I wanna know what is going to happen. OMg I love it, it's so different.
| technochy chapter 4 . 7/12/2006
well first off, thanks for your final review of my story, and now I guess it's my turn. The most important thing I can think of is that you should use quotation marks and separate the speech better(like you did in part one maybe). Second, you might wanna delete chap 3 since it's not part of the story and you continued since then. It's good for a first fic, and I know you can only get better. Tata for now. Keep it up!
| many things converge chapter 4 . 7/12/2006
Hi, it's me again!
You're doing really well on this, and getting much better. I'd suggest splitting it up into paragraphs. Also, whenever anybody speaks, put what they say in quotes ("I like cheese," Ray said). Also, when two different characters are speaking, use different lines. Like this:
Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea Lily. Oh come on Travis you can’t just turn around and go home.
turns into this:
"Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea Lily."
"Oh come on Travis you can’t just turn around and go home," Lily said with an exasperated sigh.
I love that you're putting character history and stuff in here, and the fact that you're using nick-names. You're getting better at writing out character development, and I also love that you put their thoughts in as well.
For such a short time you've improved greatly, and I can't wait to see what happens next.
~H H H
| mylifeismine chapter 2 . 5/31/2006
| RFanR chapter 2 . 12/15/2005
Um... well, me advice are the same as in my previous review, adding one though: when you're writting Travis said and such I'd recommend you place their phrases between ' ' (like 'She must be hungry' said Travis).
| RFanR chapter 1 . 12/15/2005
Well, it's intriguing, but Travis having a baby in the age of 16... The idea is pretty good, but I'd advice you to turn it into s story format (like the way I describe things) because from the way you did it it's sometimes hard to separate scenes or make out what's exacly going on. I'd also advice you to make the chapters longer (and more deep, if you know what I mean).
Sorry for being critical. But the story has potencial and I'll be sure to read the second chapter.
Using this occasion I'd like to thank you for reviewing my RFR fic. To answer question about Travis: he still will be one of the main characters, but to not spoil too much that's all I'm gonna say.
P.S. You should allow anonymous reviews. A friend of mine (who's been on FF for some time) told me you can get more reviews that way.
| fanoffoster chapter 2 . 11/12/2005
I liked the second chapter it was just to short. Please finish the story.
| DustNWind chapter 2 . 11/4/2005
I think the plot is alright but the format and how you word things is a bit odd from my point of view. I'm not discouraging you from continuing, but I am going to suggest that you maybe ask a friend or someone else to look over your chapters before posting so you can get advice and make it look and sound better. Don't rush anything. Take your time, write it out for a while, and if you come up real short just come back to it when you have more inspiration. This story has potential, you just have to know how to find it.