Reviews for Brothers in Arms: Moments and Memories
Jman12394 chapter 2 . 5/10/2010
Very nice job on protaying the charchters. keep up great work
Shinji Ikari chapter 2 . 8/16/2006
Well, since there's some general Kevin stuff to respond to, I can do so here.

First off, as for the Files, if you're using two computers, why not Download on one while typing on the other? Point taken about Hyperion, and yes, I think you get what I'm saying about Kevin being a danger to peace; he'd be envied for the same reason as other Coordinators are, only Kevin has those qualities moreso, as well as additional ones such as a longer life and the AKWES and nanites which protect him and increase his healing abilities even further.

As for GUARDIAN and Kevin being an engineered soldier after all... okay, I'm clear on that then. However, if GUARDIAN turns out to be false even if Kevin still is an engineered soldier, this time around, I hope you have an explanation for why John Onishi would engineer a soldier in peacetime. Because if you don't, it runs into the same problem as your lack of an explanation for Metzinger's motives. If GUARDIAN isn't false, then the explanation given in the original BROTHERS IN ARMS as to his motives for engineering a soldier is fine.

In regards to Shinn, I'm only fourteen Episodes in, so its impossible to say if there's no arrogance at all. But if its just Leona and Kevin not seeing Shinn clearly, I guess there's nothing more to say either way. And Leona... understood.

Beyond that, though, as regards the matters of what is and isn't changed... I see nothing wrong with Sato focusing on Kevin, just the fact Elizabeth didn't enter into his focus *either.* As you'll recall, one of my most frequent criticisms of the original BROTHERS IN ARMS was that too little changed. BIRDS OF A FEATHER was *much* better in those regards, with the kind of wide-ranging ripple-effect changes I'd expect with the presence of another character with a stake as influential as Kira's in the proceedings of the canon. I didn't really think you were focusing too much on Ken either; Ken was already an established ace, and while Kira is an even better pilot, he doesn't have Ken's track record. If BIRDS OF A FEATHER had been written about DESTINY, during which its already been made clear Freedom is widely recognized as one of the best aces, there might be reason to criticize. But the way I saw it, twisting so many events around to focus on Ken and company was reasonable... if you're on a ship and you have two whiz pilots, one willing and with months of experience and the other unwilling and not suited to be a soldier even though he's better, who would you pay more attention to? If anything, I found the lack of attention paid to Kira rather poignant in regards to him, because he *didn't* have to shoulder as much of the burden. (Besides, at points when Kira *did* get involved, such as during the first Dead Zone - when you even had people explicitly mention forgetting him - that added to the 'wow' factor.) I thought all the changes were plausible, as was most people's focus on Ken. Kira was a wild card, pretty much, and the fact most people overlooked him made it *possible* for certain events to happen that really showed his skill.

The problem with Sato was not the inclusion of Kevin, it was the exclusion of Elizabeth. Similarly, I see absolutely nothing wrong with Djibril and the rest of Logos focusing on Kevin. When you add one or more original characters and write an alternate reality story, its not a good idea to twist everything around to focus on your original characters, yes. (If you feel you overdid it in BIRDS OF A FEATHER, so be it. If you see a flaw in your writing I don't, far be it for me to argue that its not there. So if you feel it needs improvement and improve it, I'm not going to debate *that.* I don't think you overdid it, though, but perhaps that's because I was so glad to see Kira didn't have to suffer through as much because of Ken and that clouded my perspective.) But its similarly just as bad to try to twist everything around to keep everything the same in spite of the presence of one or more original characters. In sum, what makes for the best kind of alternate reality with original characters could perhaps be described as follows: If its plausible for events to twist around to focus on your original characters, that's when they should be twisted. If its plausible for them not to be twisted around, don't. And where its plausible for some things to change and some things to stay the same, it should be done that way. But one of the biggest flaws of the original BROTHERS IN ARMS was that, too often you twisted events around so they'd stay the same in *spite* of Kevin's presence. Save for the Sato scene, so far this story hasn't repeated any of the original flaws. I hope to see that trend continue. Even if Kevin isn't the actual *focus* of some of the changes, I hope there's still at least a significant amount of changes caused by his presence, even if the changes themselves focus on others.

As regards Shinn and Kevin again... all right, I withdraw my critique about that part. (Which Episode did you see, by the way? If it was within the first fourteen, I'll be able to tell you how important it is in the scheme of things, at least up until the end of Phase 14.) As regards Cagalli though... Your remark about having undisclosed reasons for wanting to keep Yuna's influence the same keeps me from criticizing you for repeating the aforementioned flaws of the original BROTHERS IN ARMS. However, there's one thing I recommend you keep in mind. If Shinn's words didn't get to Cagalli, then its arguable she might not give into Yuna (and possibly the other nobles) so easily unless there's something else causing her quite a lot of grief.

Nothing more to say about the 'love interest' stuff. However, I'm rather surprised I didn't 'drive you up the wall' with the 'too powerful' remark, because I realized shortly after Submitting the Review that 'too careful' probably wasn't a good way to say it, since you haven't exactly toed the line there. On the other hand, when it comes to too powerful *mechas,* that might be another story. Although Preybird *did* backfire because it only escalated the war, but yes, I see the problems with it. (By the way, this reminds me of a curiosity I forgot. When Kevin shot a combined burst from Stormhawk's twin buster rifles, Forbidden had to dodge, because its Gerschmeidig Panzer couldn't handle the attack. But it did deflect Preybird's satellite cannon. Both, you stated, had energy equal to that of a Lohengrin... was Kevin's just slightly above what the Panzer to handle while Preybird's just slightly below? Or does each *separate* buster rifle have energy equal to a Lohengrin, and when combined they exceed even that? I think I remember correctly that they only reach Lohengrin potency when combined. And no, I don't think Stormhawk was toeing the edge of too powerful... still couldn't handle the DRAGOONs, after all.) But I certainly don't recall Ken *himself* being too powerful... you made it clear he wasn't better than Kira, and even once he got a better machine than Freedom, in the end I recall you explicitly stating that if GENESIS hadn't interrupted the duel, the fight would've been even, that Kira and Ken would've trashed each other. So what, exactly, are you referring to about Ken *himself* being 'too powerful?' I'm confused. (This reminds me. I bought an ASTRAY book at a Kinokuniya a few weeks ago. Apparently Gai Murakumo developed a Blue Frame addition which allows him to wield, if I understand the pictures correctly, *two* separate Lohengrins. Which can be combined into one even more powerful turret. So much for both Kevin's and Ken's best, provided I remember the Stormhawk's twin buster rifle correctly. Gai can fire *two,* plus combine them into something even *worse.* Then again, Preybird's real advantage was its speed, wasn't it?)

Shinn yet again (if the Reviews start getting long again on a regular basis, I think I'm going to need to organize these better, heh)... so some of that was you. Hmm. Well, like I said, there's nothing wrong with Kevin and Leona not seeing Shinn clearly (or any other original and non-original character you think wouldn't understand him), so long as it doesn't extend to anything objective. I do agree about the whole emotional baggage thing, though. Although the same, however, could easily be said of Kevin.

Athrun... Yes, I recall how badly Kevin did in the original BROTHERS IN ARMS. Keep in mind, however, Athrun isn't the *only* one who does a great job. Dearka and Yzak do almost as good, if not as good (hard to tell for sure since they never actual *pull* Athrun's stunt versus detachable pods because they never face any). Regardless, all three do so well that at some point in the second half of the Episode, a surprised Shinn (not sure of the specific emotion or specific line) remarks on the skill of the Jachin Due veterans. (And no, that's not a paraphrase of how the line went either. About the only words I remember being in the sub and/or dub was "Jachin Due.") And while we're on this topic, did your summaries make it clear that when Kira boards the Freedom in Phase 13 versus the assassins, he has *not* gotten rusty in spite of his time outside of a mobile suit? Granted, he activated his Seed right away, but I didn't notice any decrease in skills in comparison between him fighting as Berserker then and him fighting as Berserker earlier.

Last but not least, if any of the edits do affect anything in Chapter 5, at least, I recommend you leave another Note (this time at the beginning of Chapter 6) about the Chapter 5 changes, so people know to go back and read the changes.

Okay, this wasn't quite the size of the other. Maybe these won't be getting that long again after all.
Shinji Ikari chapter 1 . 7/27/2006
I realized I hadn't actually gotten around to reading this, so I went ahead and corrected that (I'd skimmed the Murrue part a long time ago, but for some reason never actually read these).

I'll save a couple of the Review talk for A CALL TO ARMS, but there's a couple things I'll continue here as they concern Kevin in general.

Nothing really to critique about any of these Chapters, although reading them reminds me, once again, there's still a few remaining revisions and additions you never made to the original BROTHERS IN ARMS and I really wish you would now, if only so I could enjoy reading them. :P

As for the "Kevin in general" stuff...

First of all, I don't really see anything contradictory in the plot of the original BROTHERS IN ARMS. One of the things I most enjoyed about it was how the plot kept twisting and reversing in interesting directions. I considered them enjoyable plot twists... not contradictions. It reminds me of Games like XENO, or Yasumi Matsuo's FINAL FANTASY TACTICS and VAGRANT STORY, Games in which the story is constantly changing, reversing, and twisting, the truth lies buried beneath multiple layers, those you thought were enemies at one point turn out to be friends and nothing can be deemed as true for certain. Things like Kevin respecting Rau, for instance, I felt added interesting dramatic irony... without Rau, there would never have been an ABADDON, yet the one man who should've been his primary target was one of the people he respected. If anything, I wish you'd further fleshed out that irony and Kevin's thoughts over respecting the one man who began his misery even before Harris. As for Uzumi, if I remember correctly, you said that Uzumi disliked Kevin and tried to have him assassinated because he was uncomfortable with someone who he thought was a genetically engineered weapon (since Uzumi thought Onishi's lie about GUARDIAN was true)... or am I wrong?

(In hindsight, if I remember correctly, perhaps you could make it more explicit that Uzumi was so uncomfortable with Kevin because he thought he was a weapon, either with a slight tweaking of the scene where Uzumi reveals why he has a problem with Kevin, or you could slip it in somewhere in A CALL TO ARMS. But otherwise, there's no problem.)

Anything else, to my memory, just made for interesting plot twists.

As for the other issue... I'm not sure I was clear about why Kevin is a potentially greater threat to peace. I wasn't talking about how Kevin's existence gives ZAFT and the Earth Forces the ability to create more super soldiers (although, of course, that, too, is a danger, so I look forward to seeing that addressed too). I'm referring to the reasons behind the original war between Earth and the PLANTs in the first place. Naturals envied Coordinators for their abilities, so they tried to oppress them. "This is mankind's dream... mankind's desire... mankind's destiny...! To be the strongest... to go the farthest... to climb the highest! To compete... to envy... to consume each other... and devour one another." If I remember my own perusal of the official Site's timeline right, George Glenn's biological body was destroyed by someone angry he wasn't made a Coordinator.

"If people learned of your existence, they would want to be you! They would want to become *like* you!" This applies to Kevin just as much as Kira. What I'm saying is that if people learned of Kevin's genetically-engineered abilities, people would start wanting to be born as the same kind of Ultimate Coordinator he is. Furthermore, while a lot of people might have an aversion to most of his cybernetics because of the 'half-machine' aspects, getting his nanomachines (because their healing abilities are superior to that of a Coordinator's) and his AKWES (because of the protection they give people) might be more controversial among people because they don't make people as much a 'machine' (some people might not even see nanites as cybernetics at all) as the rest of his augmentation. People would want to become like Kevin for positive reasons, not to better wage war but to augment their physical, mental, and survival capabilities even beyond those they know is possible with regular Coordinator genetic engineering. (And some fraction of people, of course, might want the entire cybernetic package.) Like I said, its the *opposite* of Kevin's existence as a weapon that is his greatest threat to peace. If people learned of his existence (or, heck, all the not-so-late John Onishi would have to do is release the data for engineering Kevin onto the Internet, the same as George Glenn released his data), and it could start the entire cycle of envy, competition, and hatred and violence due to that envy, all over again.

And by the way, do you have an acronym for both of Kevin's nanotechnology systems yet (or one that's inclusive of both at the same time)? Or is AKWES the British term and not what you thought up?
spadaken chapter 2 . 12/9/2005
Nice story man, though i'm a little.. uh.. what's the word... oh yeah, not inclined to the idea of putting the story of bloody roar in it, i must say it ended up nicely. i enjoyed your works very much, but there's one thing bugging me, in chapter 33 of brothers in arms, Flay told Kevin he needed to speak to Kira, but i didn't find anything in it, so the question is, are you going to place it heer or are you gonna change on of the Brothers in Arms chapters? well, that's all and keep up the good work! ja ne!
WillTheWatcher chapter 2 . 9/20/2005
Solid S did you really have to go and do that to Mwu. I mean I understand were you are coming from, but everyone else gos along with the GS:destiny so I thought that you would have chosen a different route. But besides that Little thing I liked this chapter and await the future one-shotsl. :)
WillTheWatcher chapter 2 . 9/20/2005
Solid S did you really have to go and do that to Mwu. I mean I understand were you are coming from, but everyone else gos along with the GS:destiny so I thought that you would have chosen a different route. But besides that Little thing I liked this chapter and await the future one-shotsl. :)
lovey dovey chapter 2 . 8/22/2005
i want a makeout scene between kevin and cagalli!
Infinite Freedom chapter 2 . 8/19/2005
Hey Solid, out of curiosity why are you waiting to write A Call to Arms?
bloodyknight85 chapter 2 . 8/17/2005
'I see... Murrue has accepted Kevin as one who she can trust and live with... Did Mwu die or disappear? Because i did not remember what happened to him in this story.. Anyways, looking forward to your next update and new stroy...'

Keep up the good work, dude... Update sooN!
Joey chapter 2 . 8/17/2005
yeah i was wondering how u were gonna start off Destiny without Mu...

spoilers: (he is kind of the cause of Destiny basically)
arekuruu-inabikari-no-She chapter 2 . 8/17/2005
pretty good one shot and you do give a very plausible explaination on how Mu becomes Neo in Destiny, good job. I'm glad you're seriously considering my idea about the Junk Guild and Artemis but hey it won't be a couple of months before I see you busting out the chapters for the sequel.
Ominae chapter 2 . 8/17/2005
Impressive! Least I'll know what'll happen to Mu in this version of Destiny! _
White Shadow chapter 2 . 8/16/2005
Whoa. Pretty nice chap there. I was wondering on how you will intergrate Neo from GSD for the sequel and you wrote the part Mu disappeared pretty well.

So, who's next? Be looking forward to it.
Infinite Freedom chapter 1 . 8/7/2005
this is great. please update. and in the sequel could you have it that the recovered mobile suits nave been upgraded.
Deathzealot chapter 1 . 8/1/2005
YEAH! Of course it has been years since i played that game but I am still interested in fanfiction of it... anyways back to SEED... This is great can't wait till the next one also if I have all the Astray Mangas up the Second Astray R Manga... I am buying them as they come up so if you have any questions about Astray feel free to ask them...
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