Reviews for Sins of the Father
DarkShinji8003 chapter 1 . 8/4/2005
Dude that was Awsome, and would love to see this continued. Hell if my writing style would improve i would see if i could maybe add more. but I suck as a Writer
James Axelrad chapter 1 . 8/4/2005
it'd be a real crying shame if this is the end of the fic...

gret setup for a ranmaXnnabici fic.
John Tannius chapter 1 . 8/4/2005
A very good one shot, and much better than the spamfic I had written along similar lines (of course I stole the idea from another story as well).

Of course I would like to see this story continue, much like all your stories but I realize we all have to decide what must take priority in our writings.

One thing though, if Kaede is still alive after using that ki attack on Ryouga, could it possibly mean thta Ryouga didn't die? That somehow, the future she came from is still a possibility? Just some thoughts.
MadPanda chapter 1 . 8/4/2005
In a word: WOW. Me like. Me like lots. Buttery wholesome one-shot goodness!

I was a teensy bit confused by Kaede's seeming age change (She's about sixteen, seventeen at the start of the fic and six or seven at the end of it, yeah?) but I could simply have missed a clue. Wouldn't be the first time.

This seems to be heading for an R/N matchup...but I feel it's going to be stronger if you just leave it as a one-shot. Trying to turn this into a series might dilute the special and unique nature of the 'solution'. Even though I'd LOVE to see where you might take this one, you're enough ahead on this one to quit P

Keep up the good work!
ShadowHunter2000 chapter 1 . 8/3/2005
Very interesting stroy. Would like to see it expanded, but I don't know the best way to do it, though having Ryoga actually surviving the blast would cause alot of trouble. Great read!
sandcrawlr chapter 1 . 8/3/2005
This was a great idea, and i know you said one shot, but I hope you, or someone continues it. Anyway, I liked, and as always, i read any crap you post, so keep it coming. :)
Wharpt chapter 1 . 8/3/2005
One-shot? I should hope not. Kaede is so far the best of the 'Ranma and Ryouga's kid out for revenge' that I've read. It would be nice to see how she handles growing up again with her mother/father.

Akane as her 'step'mom? Dubious, at the least. At some point she'll try to mallet Kaede for kicking her. And Ranma will put Akane through the wall. Yes, he'll hit her. There's a new girl in Ranma's life.

The only timeline fix you've given has been the pillbox affair where the girls destroyed the Saotome house. So we can't be sure if Saffron or the 'wedding' has occurred yet. So there's room to play there.

Why did Kaede remain? Someone must be able to help Ranma; he can't do it all. Just don't give her the Hibiki 'lost' curse.
JSB chapter 1 . 8/3/2005
O...k... sometimes I do believe Ryoga can be harsh and shit, but that goes far beyond what I could Imagine him doing, I realize Ryoga really does have a twisted sense of honor and would probably use the slave potion, but abuse? I doubt he would even try due to the fact he supposedly hates Ranma, and even if he did, he shouldn't have ended up being more of a bastard than Genma...oh well, that depressed me some, being that I'm still the Ryoga fan I am, but I was still well writen and worth reading, the worst side of Ryoga. I prefer the better side of Ryoga, but thats life. Great Job.
DarkHeart of Ice chapter 1 . 8/3/2005
Yo, Innortal, DarkHeart here! Very good story. I really think you should continue this one, it has a very good premise for it to be more than just a OS. Listen to most of the reviews saying for you to continue it.

Thanx-DarkHeart P

Nuki Mouse chapter 1 . 8/3/2005
I like this story so far, I can really see Ryouga doing... something... like that to Ranma. But why a potion and not the Koi fishing rod? It does exactly what your potion seems to do and Ryouga did have it in both the Anime and Manga.

However,there seem to be a (possible) big continuality problem or plot hole with your story. When Kaede confronts Ryouga, she looks to be so simular in appearance to Ranma-chan that Ryouga thinks it might be Ranma for a momemt, and I would assume that means she wasn't a little girl. Plus she was fully trained by Ranma-chan before she died, which would suggest Kaede was at least a teen and then spent 10 years hunting down Ryouga Senior, that would make Kaede in her twenties.

She was appearantly old enough to rent a motel room, and seem very adult in her decisions and plans, yet when she shows up at Nerima she is only 6 or 7. (Akane thinks if Ranma had a kid at age 10, it would look like Kaede and Ranma is 16 or 17)

I realize this might (probably) not be a plot hole, but that unplanned should be impossible part of her mission that Kaede hinted at. So she has to become a young child again to fit your story.

So what is it going to be? Another potion, and magic artifact?

I always like the idea of using the magic mushroon to allow someone to become a child again. A 6 centimeter diameter mushroom would make Kaede about 6.

I just hope that Kaede-chan does not become a little Mary Sue and solve everyone's problem. You could use the Fan Canon that the mushrooms also make you forget much of your older life and have Kaede have just enough memory to seem "gifted" or clairvoyant. That way Ranma cought honestly teach and raise her (again) and still have challenges to overcome.

BTW I also hope this is another Ranma/Nabiki match up.
Lerris chapter 1 . 8/3/2005
I suppose the child must have written the letter since I don't think Ranma had time or the ability to forsee to plan this.

My own stories get far too little attention, but I tend to think this is worth another chapter or so.

Good luck.
enlu-tarsonis chapter 1 . 8/3/2005
Well, Inortal,

You've done it. A fanfiction Idea that many could never have come up with on their own. A truly unique if a touch dark fiction that has an interesting possiblity. Especially since it leaves the entire future open.

I'd be happy to co-author or take it over if you are not wanting to continue it as this type of story is my bread and butter as a fiction author.

Also, I have to praise your writing style. The more works of yours I read the more I like to read them. Keep the projects comming.
Gangsta Spanksta chapter 1 . 8/3/2005
Very nice. I like. I remember a similar story once posted on addventure where Ryoga did something similar bot with the koi rod called "Ranma's Daughters" or something like that where we got to see ranma daughters from different possible futures. In that one Ryoga's daughter decided to kill herself to get rid of her father I belive. Anyway, this one had a nice waffy ending, and I do hope you write another chapter. It be nice if Ranma's daughter told him who she actually was; I'm sure with Nabiki around, that the truth would eventually come out. It also sounded like Nabiki was to be a potential mother for the girl. Anyway :) I do hope you find time to update this one; or pass it along to someone worthy of continuing it, since not all writers have your talent.
Gothicphoto chapter 1 . 8/3/2005
This was good. A little ambiguous on the paradox issue but otherwise really good.
Drakus chapter 1 . 8/3/2005
Intense, truly intense. Awsome work, Innortal.
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