|Reviews for The Secret of the royal family|
| Pussin Boots chapter 2 . 8/5/2005
Nice, but SHORT! Upload soon and longer chappies please!
| WitchyMage chapter 2 . 8/5/2005
Interesting... I'm intrigued.
| thingy of um thingyness chapter 2 . 8/5/2005
YAY Roald will die!Roald will die!Roald will die!Roald will die!Roald will die!
| On top of cloud 9 chapter 2 . 8/4/2005
so...alanna and jon both get abused?
| On top of cloud 9 chapter 1 . 8/4/2005
| Elfsquire90 chapter 2 . 8/4/2005
cool me like the chapter please update soon
| buttons7 chapter 2 . 8/4/2005
heya, i just finished reading the chapter and, again, i thought it was very good - dark and interesting - i'm really looking forward to seeing how the plot unfolds. for some reason, i can't actually send you an email (your account might have shut down, or you might be over your storage limit - i just got delivery failure notifications), so if you're still interested in me beta-ing for you, then i think you might have to email me - my address is on my user profile page (i would write it here, but i don't want to risk it getting spammed).
| buttons7 chapter 1 . 8/4/2005
ok, this is really interesting (i like stories about the royal family, i think they're so underdone in fanfic and the TP books, and i'm not averse to slightly darker stories either). BUT, you really need to watch your spelling and grammar, there, plus there are a couple of anachronisms. it might help to have someone beta your work - i will beta if you need someone, just email me. i think this has good potential, but you need to be careful with the technical accuracy of the writing, as well as with the characterisation. i can see that you're trying to show that there is another aspect to the royal family, behind the perfect facade (and i think that's a good idea, it's one i've been using in one of my fics too), but you have to be careful to keep it plausible, and not too out of character. a really intriguing start, though, i'm very curious to see where you go with it.
| lyredenfers chapter 1 . 8/4/2005
"I heard Roald laughed and found myself in total blackness."
Be careful with your tenses (laugh, not laughed "I heard Roald laugh" - or rather - I heard Roald laughing). And also, the narrative was in first person, Jon was calling Roald "my father", so it stuck out a bit when he called him "Roald" here.
It's great to see fresh ideas here (Roald is so un-Roald, he's like, the anti-Roald). Slightly dark and sinster, keep going!
(There's a quote that's something like, the more respectable someone is, the more that they have to hide. So true for royalty and especially here)
| Kittinator chapter 1 . 8/4/2005
o_o that's SO creepy! update soon _ you have a very original start.
| thingy of um thingyness chapter 1 . 8/4/2005
WA evil man bad man can roald die please?
| Elfsquire90 chapter 1 . 8/3/2005
good start can't wait till the next chapter will this be "Lady" Alanna or Knight Alanna just a little curious.