|Reviews for the sonic team in: the first battle|
| Silver1998 chapter 1 . 11/11/2008
| StarVix chapter 1 . 11/5/2008
Ooh! This was even more random than your other stories. LOL!
| Heidi the Mexican Gray Wolf chapter 1 . 7/7/2006
Wow that was a little random but I thought it was funny. I love The Sonic Team in Ghost story that was so funny I laugh my head of! Dark Angel: Now that one was so funny I fell on the floor laughing!Oh yeah. Yes, Shadow they name bills! Heidi: Anyways, Dark Angel and I thought this was so funny we will give this story 20/20!D Please keep writing these kind of stories ,please! Aewsome jod on this awesome story!
| Wouldn't u like 2 no .cool one chapter 1 . 8/8/2005
Hello there fellow author! Okay, where should I start?
I noticed many grammer errors when I first started reading this. In the sentence, "But when they all joined this happened ... nothing!" I think it would make more sense if it was, "When they all joined nothing happened!" Sorry ... that sentence just really bugged me.
And, I think its you should replace some of your commas into periods. Like the sentence, "Tails is the youngest on the team, but is the smartest, he has two tails, with his tails he can fly, he spends his time in his workshop creating inventions for the sonic team to use in battles." I would have said it like this: "Tails is the youngest on the team, but he is the smartest. He has two tails that can fly like a propeller. He spends his time mostly in his workshop, where he creates inventions for the Sonic Team to use in battles." See the difference? Now, wasn't that prettier?
You've got to work on your narrating more better. I was just giving that as an example to help you. Also, try to work on your spelling and capalization too.
This story seemed pretty rushed too. Try to add more detail into it, okay? Besides the beginning, all you had was talking.
Thats it from me! Good luck in the future!