|Reviews for The Writing's On the Wall|
| Project Halfbreed chapter 5 . 12/12/2006
Damn this war is getting intense
| Fireword chapter 6 . 1/29/2006
Nice job;) I really like your story!
Post up Chapter7 soon, okay?
| Fireword chapter 2 . 1/29/2006
Oh! Nice twist, just be more descriptive and such, for instance:
-What do the cave walls look like?
-What are they standing on?
-What's the outside scenery look like?
-What are they're expressions?
-What's the texture of the sand?
-What's the weather like there?
-What do you/your character looks like?
And one more thing, don't be afraid to put we're, they're, how're, basically what I'm trying to say is:
Don't just write 'they are' 'we are', use a little bit of minor slang here and there in little tidbits.
Make the paragraphs a bit longer, but other than that, your story's got real potential:)
| Fireword chapter 1 . 1/29/2006
Nice. You've got a great idea here, but just a few things needing to be fixed:
-This one's optional, but most usually use "" instead of '', but you don't have to, '' is how they talk in books most of the time
-Try slowing down a bit, rememer, you can have as many chapters as you like in this fic
-Be a little bit, just a bit, more descriptive, but what you have going now is great too
Other than those few minor things, your story's great and I can't wait to read on:) I really like the self-POV thing too _
| Espionata chapter 5 . 11/17/2005
You are pretty close to the original storyline. I just got the game and it rocks.
| Espionata chapter 6 . 10/28/2005
What you written is awsome. Although Chris can go without swearing.
| Espionata chapter 2 . 10/25/2005
Since your having problems with Chris why not E-mail what you have written to see if I can help. Who knows what you could be fine. That way your chapters might come out faster.
| Lady Chitose chapter 5 . 8/28/2005
Why aren't there more reviews? I like it. Update soon.
| Espionata chapter 1 . 8/7/2005
i'm sorry for you but i love this story mine is still up but has a diffrent name. you can use my tmnt charater chris but i made her maria's reincarnation. she's a powerfull 13 year old ninja with physic powers mabey she'll make an apearance in chapter 6. here's her personality she dosen't trust people easily but once she does you will be happy to have her on your side espicialy her healing and teleporting powers. if you saw tmnt you'll know what i'm talking about. i'm basing her on the new show and she got her powers from her parents but they were killed by the shredder. don't ask how i came up with her y imagination was crazy when i was 12.