Reviews for Advent Rising:The Power Within the Race
sergechrono chapter 1 . 8/12/2005
well if you want me to stop the story I will because i have better things to do but don't blame me if that other guy doesn't update
Sirdikdik Follower of beef chapter 1 . 8/9/2005
Holy crap you are in eight grade! Well i have seen way better stuff from eight graders. K see here is the problem. About five hundred word chapters don't cut it. about eighteen hundred does nicely. Two tons of grammactical mistakes. Also the switching from third to first person is very annoying. Leave this category to Obsidian13. sorry to say this but it is so very true. Go ahead and flame one of my stories{I am to lazy to log in} some of them desevre to be flamed.
Gamer064 chapter 2 . 8/8/2005
Look I'm not a writer and I don't write fanfics but, as a reader I have to ask you to stop going from 3rd person to 1st person without letting us know who is there. I know your in 8th grade but you still have to at least look at what you write. Remember english class the difference between where and were? Has, Had, or Have? I don't mean to be mean and I'm no A or even a A- student in english either but, you have to put more effort and detail into it. I will say though you should be proud that you actually made an effort unlike me. As I said I don't write fanfics, so pat yourself on the back you've earned it. Also, try to put more effort into it. Good Luck